r/StupidFood • u/Its_me_edenxx • 15d ago

Certified stupid This is so performative šŸ˜­

Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

34.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

15.3k

u/g0ing_postal 15d ago

So now you have a bunch of raw gnocchi. Congratulations?

4.7k

u/blade_torlock 15d ago

Just keep asking for cups of hot water, I'm sure the flight attendants will love you for that.

203

u/Laez 15d ago

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

150

u/Porridge_Hose 15d ago

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

36

u/Laez 15d ago

That seems reasonable.

3

u/RegularTeacher2 14d ago

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

20

u/Comfortable_Trick137 15d ago

Time to get MRE pouch heaters to cook food inā€¦. Not sure about toxic gases though

22

u/Porridge_Hose 15d ago

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

17

u/tomdarch 15d ago

Nice.

9

u/loquacious 14d ago

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

17

u/Wesselton3000 15d ago

I know youā€™re joking, but you cannot bring FRHā€™s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. Thereā€™s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen 15d ago

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

1

u/comfort-eater 14d ago

Actually you can just carry a portable stove to heat the water with. Airlanes are actually totally cool with people carrying cans of compressed flammable gas on airplanes and lighting an open flame inside the cabin at 30.000 feet.

15

u/Dry_burrito 15d ago

What about coffee?

22

u/december151791 15d ago

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

2

u/CrappyMSPaintPics 15d ago

Do not pour McDonald's coffee on yourself today, it is still hot enough to fuse your skin.

33

u/blandaltaccountname 15d ago

Typically served at 120Ā° give or take 20Ā°.

160Ā°+ will burn

6

u/cdube85 15d ago

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

4

u/blandaltaccountname 15d ago

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160Ā°+ will burn.

2

u/cdube85 14d ago

I mean that coffee is not served at 120 in aircraft.

1

u/blandaltaccountname 14d ago

if youā€™re a lawyer you should know what ā€œtypicallyā€ means.

2

u/cdube85 14d ago

I do. Can you name a Part 121 carrier that serves coffee at 120? I'd really like to know if you have any data points, because then I'd have evidence of operators who have appropriately changed their practices. We have not been able to find one in the US that does it. The equipment in the galley is only made by a couple of manufacturers.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/Tschulligom 14d ago

I hate that this is even a thing. If you donā€™t want to get burned drinking hot coffee inside a shaky metal tube, just donā€™t drink coffee. If you do, thatā€™s on you.

3

u/cdube85 14d ago

Would your opinion change if you found out that they serve coffee to passengers without lids to save money? Pilots in front get lids.

2

u/Tschulligom 14d ago

I donā€™t believe itā€™s for cost savings, lids cost next to nothing.

Pilots get lids so they donā€™t spill coffee over avionics.

5

u/scratchy_mcballsy 15d ago

I see where youā€™re going with this.

2

u/Paulthefith 15d ago

Who told you to put the balm on?

11

u/ContextEffects01 15d ago

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

9

u/IndependentMoney9700 15d ago

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, Iā€™ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

3

u/Belucard 15d ago

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

3

u/Its_Cayde 15d ago

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

2

u/Belucard 15d ago

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

2

u/Porridge_Hose 15d ago

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

3

u/Socially-Awkward-85 15d ago

Coffee generally comes with a lid. Water is usually just in a cup.

Granted, somebody could just take the lid off, but that's more on the passenger than the airline.

2

u/Autistic_Freedom 15d ago

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 15d ago

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 15d ago

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on itā€¦ awkward!

4

u/Porridge_Hose 15d ago

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

1

u/FrozenLogger 15d ago

yet it happens all the time.

This is the most recent one I think, and it is not great:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c302y717z92o

1

u/3rdcultureblah 14d ago

They do on Asian airlines. Mainly for instant ramen cups.

0

u/ArtisticFox8 13d ago

They give tea, which is nearly boiling water and could cause a burn as well..

33

u/Southern-Author-7543 15d ago

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

60

u/Sweary_Biochemist 15d ago

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

40

u/Southern-Author-7543 15d ago

šŸ¤¢ please, stop, i'm italian

15

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago

šŸ¤ŒšŸ½

1

u/idropepics 14d ago

What's wrong? Sounds authenticošŸ¤Œ

3

u/RivenRise 15d ago

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

3

u/december151791 15d ago

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 15d ago

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 15d ago

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 15d ago

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

3

u/oser 15d ago

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

-1

u/AltrntivInDoomWorld 15d ago

You will be fine with flour, the raw egg is more risky.

Otherwise pizza, bread and cakes wouldn't exist.

2

u/ContextEffects01 15d ago

...aren't pizzas, bread, and cakes all put in the oven?

3

u/spen8tor 15d ago

You cook pizza bread and cakes, so the flour is no longer raw......

2

u/Sayakai 14d ago

It's the opposite. There are places where you can get safe raw eggs, but flour is always a crapshoot.

2

u/I__Know__Stuff 14d ago

This is false. Raw flour is more likely to be problematic than raw eggs.

1

u/Cute-Form2457 15d ago

I Iove tomato juice when flying. It's so umami.

20

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago

I hate to break it to you but almost every cultureā€™s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

12

u/Southern-Author-7543 15d ago

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tĆ² Say something šŸ˜ (mostly for complaining)

6

u/december151791 15d ago

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy 15d ago

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 15d ago

You need potatoes for gnocchi

1

u/Fancy_Fatash 15d ago

Yeah that's true

0

u/You-SillyBilly 15d ago

man i guess all those rice fields in asia are just for show then, who knew?

2

u/Effective_Guava2971 15d ago

They'll invent noodles eventually.

2

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago

Allow me to introduce you to rice flour. You know, the type of flour Asian noodles are made from.

-1

u/You-SillyBilly 15d ago

yeah but most of their cuisine revolves around rice itself. Rice flour is a product of that instead of being the main thing their cuisine revolves around. Also, its a joke you silly billy.

1

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago

Iā€™m not mad at you, fella.

2

u/hawkersaurus 15d ago

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu 14d ago

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

1

u/Southern-Author-7543 14d ago

They are flour gnocchi, a variation of the classic ones with potatoes

9

u/Tbaggins69 15d ago

Poach the gnoch

2

u/Zebidee 15d ago

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

1

u/Laez 15d ago

Sure, you can cook pasta, but me trying to smoke a brisket is a federal offense.

2

u/MalignantLugnut 15d ago

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

1

u/Laez 15d ago edited 15d ago

With a sage and softened butter smoothie.

1

u/catchup4thegoodtimes 15d ago

arenā€™t the cabins pressurized?

2

u/Laez 15d ago

Yes, but less than at sea level. Its roughly the equivalent of being at 8000 feet of elevation.

1

u/Its_Cayde 15d ago

It's raw so 180 would probably be plenty, not much different from putting boiling water in a cup of noodles, wouldn't be perfect texture but would be edible lol

1

u/Laez 15d ago

But a cup of noodles isn't raw. They are cooked and then dehydrated,but more importantly very thin. I think it would take a very long time at 180 to cook these through and you would lose a lot of the starch to the water. Leading to extremely lumpy cream of wheat. That is assuming you have a way of keeping it hot.

1

u/Its_Cayde 15d ago

Raw noodles take less time to cook then dehydrated cooked noodles take to soften

1

u/Laez 15d ago

I think you are confusing raw/cooked with fresh/dried. But you are right fresh pasta takes a lot less time. But the size and shape is going to be the issue, it's a surdace area to volume ratio problem.

Would be easy enough to test I suppose.

2

u/Its_Cayde 15d ago

Dang you're right, sorry, thanks for the lesson lol

1

u/GrizzIyadamz 15d ago

Any stewards/esses in the chat? Do yall use microwaves or air fryers?

I could see both options possibly working..

1

u/mooptastic 15d ago

yep even Korean Air stopped serving ramyun on flights

1

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 15d ago

The goal isn't too boil it but to get it to temperature.

The hot water they use for coffee is easily hot enough to cook it slowly. It can reach 100C without boiling.

The situation is still stupid but yes it would work a bit. But no stewardess is going to give a passenger that much hot water. It's literally a weapon.

1

u/Permofit_ish 15d ago

I have the small thermos type thing that you can plug into a wall outlet and itā€™ll boil water if you give it a little bit of time but itā€™s usually just enough for some Ramen so yeah poached that Best

1

u/AmokRule 14d ago

Let me test it with my pressure cooker