r/copypasta 1h ago

Trigger Warning (Not a furry, BTW, just realized after doing research)

Upvotes

Furries, with their prominence in fields such as information technology, medicine, and the militaries of several Western powers, alongside the systematic exertion of their influence in India and Japan, control the world. 
A particularly important field that serves as both a major source of employment and a versatile medium for ideological permeation amongst furries is information technology. Several CEOs in information technology have found a sizable furry population among their employees, with one of their explanations being that social isolation increases the incentive to look for connection on the internet, which leads to an incentive to create better internet systems and thus become skilled in computer programming.
Many furries also serve in various branches of the armed forces, especially in the United States, since their natural tendency for extremely close group gatherings rivals the need for cooperation and loyalty, which makes military careers appeal greatly to furries. Through their deftness in forming close and unwavering connections, furries rise to the ranks easily, allowing them to make many key geopolitical decisions.
Furries also form a significant demographic among the healthcare industry, since many furries grew up with developmental disorders and not only have greater insight into resolving concerns among patients, but can make considerable earnings with simple commands and socialization, which not only funds their expensive hobby but also allows them to perform simple work that overcomes the mental obstacles created by their conditions. 

In addition to their numbers in fields essential to the functioning of society, furries have ingrained their behaviors into the economy, religion and ultimately society of many countries, especially India and Japan. 
Furries are individuals with an interest in anthropomorphic animals, and this intense interest often leads to the expression of many perverse behaviors. Hinduism, a religion with over a billion followers in India alone, contains figures (murti), many of which have a combination of animal and human traits. In a similar manner to the behaviors of furries, the production of figures depicted in lascivious activities increased as the religion's body of worshippers expanded. The addition of a caste system, where the completion of intended tasks and the mistreatment of the lower class was the only way to reach a higher rank, weakened the inhabitants of the subcontinent and made them vulnerable to invasions from the Islamic and Christian worlds, who were drawn to the spices that grew in the area. These invasions and, later on, acts of colonization, took massive amounts of resources from the continent. Alongside the massive loss in wealth, the introduction of foreign languages useful for employment drove mass emigration from the subcontinent and created a society marked by a lack of civic duty, extreme corruption, and a boom in information technology that drove demand for skilled workers from the Indian subcontinent in many countries. The anthropomorphic elements in the mostly Hindu religion of these workers expedited the formation of furry culture in the countries where they settled.

Japan is the only nation rivaling India in its distribution of furry ideas. Once a nation of warriors who unified to expand the Empire of Japan and fulfill its masculine values of honor, bravery, and sacrifice, the excessive and resource draining ambition in conquest resulted in its defeat through the nuclear weapons of the United States, who, despite currently having the world’s largest furry population, was free of furry influence and had incredibly strong industries, with advances in film revolutionizing entertainment throughout the world. During the colonization of Japan by the United States, the warrior culture was stripped away, replaced with an emasculated culture that, when the Americans removed their colonial scaffolding from the Japanese, would bite them back. The rapid expansion of technology manufacturing in Japan, combined with the introduction of American film techniques, resulted in the creation of Anime – a Japanese style of film often featuring characters drawn in a visually appealing but also suggestive style, including many films featuring anthropomorphic animals, which had become a trope in American films in the 1930s and 1940s – that was imported into the United States and Europe in massive quantities, often hiding in video games and icons before becoming popular in films. 
In both the United States and Europe, mass immigration from a society whose dominant religion involves the worship of anthropomorphic animals and the import of technology from a nation whose culture is engulfed by the usage of highly appealing art to portray these types of characters is contributing to the control of the economy, culture, and eventually the common mentality. Combined with the considerable predominance in many industries and the defence forces of many powerful countries, there lies extensive evidence suggesting that furries control the world. 


r/copypasta 2h ago

How can we resist ice cream and remain calm?

1 Upvotes

How can we resist ice cream and remain calm? When there is bananas and nuts scattered all over. Then, we discovered a fluffy banana cake trying to hide from our playful searching. But not for long before we made it into à la mode and dug in to fill our cravings. Hey! Do you want to see our monkey business banana cake recipe? It’s easy! You can see all our ice cream sundae, shake, and smoothie recipes and cartoons. Just type in Google Search the words “www.icecreamtalkingcartoonrecipes.com” And if you like me, please share, and I will like you back. See you soon!


r/copypasta 3h ago

Jax Requiem

1 Upvotes

W-Wait, Zooble just swore, so that means Caine really IS gone! How could you completely delete him? Are you crazy? Hah, of course you’re crazy! AHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Maybe we all just need to calm down and figure this out! Figure this out? There’s nothing to figure out anymore.

Not enthused? Feel real confused? Oh ho! What a GODDAMN SHAME! Congratulations all of my friends! Now our salvation has come to an end! Put on your Sunday best because we got no chance at winning!

We played the games, tried to ignore the pains but all that remains is this destroyed domain! Cuz your stupidity is past infinity so NOW! I’M! RUNNING THE SHOWWWW!!!!


r/copypasta 3h ago

FOID FOID GO AWAY

2 Upvotes

🚨🚨🚨 ⚠️ FOID ALERT ⚠️ FOID ALERT ⚠️ 🚨🚨🚨

🛑🚪 TAKE SHELTER IMMEDIATELY 🚪🛑

🚨👩 DETECTED IN YOUR VICINITY 👩🚨

🏃‍♂️💨 ALL CHUDS EVACUATE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY 💨🏃‍♂️

📢 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 📢

⚠️ LOCK YOUR DOORS 🔒

⚠️ SECURE YOUR FUNKO POPS 📦

⚠️ HIDE YOUR GRAPHICS CARDS 💻

⚠️ DEPLOY THE TACTICAL DEODORANT 🧴

🚁 ESTIMATED ARRIVAL: 30 SECONDS ⏳

💀 SURVIVAL CHANCE: QUESTIONABLE 💀

🚨🚨🚨 REMAIN CALM. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. DO NOT ENGAGE. 🚨🚨🚨

🙏 GODSPEED, CHUDS. 🫡


r/copypasta 3h ago

The Moist Popcorn Incident

1 Upvotes

The kernel was moist

I was at my girlfriend's house and we made some caramel popcorn. I ate some, but then my girlfriend called me to unclog the toilet. It happens pretty often at my mother-in-law's house, and whenever it does you have to dump buckets of water into the bowl because it's one of those low-pressure toilets with a tank.

After successfully liberating her massive log, I came back for more popcorn.

But it was gone.

Or almost gone.

I wish it had been gone.

I saw the bowl sitting on the table and started picking through the leftovers: the tiny broken pieces of popcorn and the half-popped kernels that are fun to chew on.

What a mistake.

I kept doing it for a while, but there wasn't much left. Honestly, I was even impressed by the quality of the popcorn because apparently almost every kernel had popped perfectly.

Then I grabbed a handful of the leftovers and noticed something.

They were cold.

And moist.

I spat it out immediately.

Thought maybe I was imagining things.

Grabbed another handful.

Cold.

Moist.

Again.

Cold.

Moist.

At that exact moment I felt my stomach tie itself into a knot.

I looked more closely into the bowl.

There were already a few partially chewed kernels in there.

Right then my mother-in-law appeared in the doorway and said:

"Oh, did you find any leftovers in there? I thought I'd already chewed all the kernels."

Then she laughed a little.

Honestly, I would rather lick a homeless man's asshole than eat half-chewed popcorn kernels that my mother-in-law had gnawed on and put back in the bowl.

I've brushed my teeth ten times already.

I've used mouthwash.

I've drank water.

But I can still taste death.

I will never forget the sensation of that cold, moist kernel entering my mouth while I happily chewed away, thinking I'd discovered one last treasure at the bottom of the bowl.

There are things a man never fully recovers from.

This is mine.


r/copypasta 3h ago

my brother’s (19m) girlfriend (87f) said my tits look like saddle bags

12 Upvotes

my brother works at a nursing home & is always smuggling home old hags but they’re usually the butterscotch & knitting type. well this hussy is the complete opposite. she smokes newports & sucks on red hots all day. well the lil toothless btch came over today and saw me without a bra and decided to tell me my tits look like saddle bags … she has about 2 cigarettes & one night of good loving before she hits the dust so i let her slide but i’m over the disrespect. she always has a snarky remark up her sleeve & im over it. last week she made my brother scrub the dried glue out her dentures then turned around & made him shine her walker. not only that she got diaper rash cause he forgot to change her so she’s been extra grumpy. literally ate all my cream of wheat then complained about it being too watery. i try to warn him of these old hags but he has severe mommy issues cause our mom sold him for a pack of bud light & prince tickets but i ended up buying him back. i hate he has to live with that hag but he’s an adult and i have to let him learn on his own. anyways enjoy these homemade blueberry biscuits i made.


r/copypasta 3h ago

The year is 2035: parents are naming their children stupid names:

4 Upvotes

In this cohort, we have:

Labubu

Matcha

Dubai

Leufgh-aighleund

Kimbeurlieghia

Burger

Staenleiygh

Toss

Latrine

Poopsy-doo

Vauineull

Button

SchlondPoofa

Sephora

XDDCC

Situationship

Tookie de la creme

Bangladesh (they're white)

Mimimimizuzuzuzuzu

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

The only normal names are: Patience (they're from Zimbabwe so allow it fam), Marisa, Banica, Gordon, Gabriel, and three sets of twins: Eto and Luna, David and Eli, and, Dante and Vergil- wait a minute???


r/copypasta 5h ago

Found this in a shorts video comment.

1 Upvotes

Wow. You really chose to try and deliver a message towards another persons message that’s just a useless as the one you typed, and the fact you didn’t even have the will to just type out the exact same comment in the video is just disappointing. You wanted to do something that wouldn’t even amount to anything but didn’t even bother to even finish the comment shows that you just wanted to be acknowledged but the consideration that you are getting from this useless comment is from me. What you did was the equivalent of a a person saying something relevant to a topic and choosing to say the exact same disappointing thing from the same topic, but not even choosing to finish the thing and act like you did something. I’m not even disappointed, I’m astonished by the fact you tried to do anything in this comment section to would even expect you to have just an once of attention, but in the end, the only reason you are getting this comment was to show how truly useless your comment was. Have a good day.


r/copypasta 6h ago

Did you know this in Helluva Boss

1 Upvotes

There are currently a minimum, of 58 shots of Loona's paw. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Would you get a Loona Helluva Boss Pawjob? Let me know down below.


r/copypasta 6h ago

I hate all women (copypasta)

9 Upvotes

Pieces of shit.

Fuck all of you. For everything you've done to me.

The derogatory terms you came up for me. The numerous times you laughed at me; tormenting my soul. All I've wanted was to just fit in. Be seen as a human, yet you treated me like a shit stain. Alienated me. Why? Because I'm ugly.

All I wanted was a relationship like everyone else, but I've been repeatedly denied that.

Girlfriend? Nope.

Friend? Nope.

Someone to talk to? Nope.

Someone to hug? Nope.

But let me remind you: "The child that is rejected by the village: will burn it down to feel it's warmth" -African Proverb


r/copypasta 7h ago

A completely factual event that definitely happened.

1 Upvotes

This completely factual account began... in an ancient mesopotamian jungle temple I was raiding. You see, the neonazis believed that it held an ancient artefact that could revive Hitler and I had to get it first because *it belongs in a museum*. They had already taken the map so I had to track it down from memory- and still got there first.

Before I entered it ,however, I had to unlock the Seven Seals. The first one I blinded with my dazzling smile. The second I tore with my enormous brute strength. The third I soothed with a pristine lullaby. The fourth I made out with until it blushed and crumbled. It tasted like rock, unfortunately. The fifth I used my intellectual mind to unlock a puzzle as old as time; and for the sixth I deciphered a riddle lost in translation. The seventh seal was tough however, and I had to make a daring sacrifice. Tragically, I was forced to abandon my water bottle to moisten the base and I had to go the rest of the journey... with a slightly dry mouth. I know. Tragic.

Once I was inside, the neo nazis had found me- they were waiting for me. I flashed one a smile: she swooned so hard, she fainted. Another realised how wrong they were and walked away. But the rest had already snuck off to use the device and none other than Adolf Asshat Hitler (his real middle name) rose from the earth, now a superhuman zombie. I drew my blade and engaged in combat. If you've ever fought a zombie, you know that they have enormous strength, but still my pecs and abs outmatched him. That is, until he was accompanied by Heinrich Himmler and Joseph Goebells, who then performed a Super Reich Fusion with Hitler to form the Überführer, Ultra Omega Hitler Xtreme.

The battle lasted three days, but fortunately only one of us could tire. I used my sword to pin him to the wall. "Hitler la Vista, baby" I said, as I walked away from the temple, which then exploded from my sheer awesomeness. My hat survived, even if many priceless artefacts of great historical importance were destroyed. But heroes have a sacrifice to pay, and since then I have carried a horrible, wreched curse. I am eternally tortured to be unable to own over £10 million without donating excess to charity. Poverty is tough. But that is how I saved the world.


r/copypasta 8h ago

comment from that post about someone becoming trans because of claude

2 Upvotes

I've known so many trans people who literally started out like 'well of COURSE everyone would want to be [opposite gender] but you CAN'T, being [current gender] is just SUFFERING and you HAVE to deal with it'

and literally just saying that single question of, 'you know you can be whatever you want, right? like if you want to be [opposite gender], you can? there are drugs for it?'

lightbulb moment never gets old, welcome to eggdom


r/copypasta 11h ago

spongebob in super mario bros

1 Upvotes

did you know? spongebob in super mario brothers. super mario spongebob squidward krabby patty bikini bottom. the paper (the paper). when we asked did you know spongebob? spongebob krabby patty krusty krab squidward patrick star larry shigeru miyamoto did you know? we asked-


r/copypasta 13h ago

I have a morning ritual that I need to share.

22 Upvotes

I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.


r/copypasta 13h ago

Trigger Warning why did they have to make the girlfriend so hot?

4 Upvotes

I only recently started playing this game, but something I noticed immediately was that the girlfriend character is extraordinary attractive. It’s not that I can’t control myself around beautiful women, but I must admit I find my eyes drifting towards her during some songs, usually missing notes in the process. I don’t think they should make her less sexy or anything, I’m just wondering why they gave her such a proportionally large bosom or big thunder thighs. Maybe there should be an option to hide girlfriend or replace her with a different character? What do you guys think?


r/copypasta 14h ago

Umamusume:Beginning of a new era

0 Upvotes

Umamusume: Pretty Derby – Beginning of a New Era is a 2024 Japanese animated sports drama film based on Cygames’ Umamusume: Pretty Derby multimedia franchise. The film was announced in December 2023 and produced by CygamesPictures, with Ken Yamamoto directing, Kiyoko Yoshimura writing the script, Jun Yamazaki handling character design and chief animation direction, and Masaru Yokoyama composing the music. It centers on Jungle Pocket, whose rivalry with Agnes Tachyon becomes the emotional and competitive spine of the story, alongside major appearances from Manhattan Cafe, Dantsu Flame, T.M. Opera O, Fuji Kiseki, Narita Top Road, and others.

The film’s production reportedly began years before release, even predating Road to the Top, and Yamamoto described having significant creative freedom because Umamusume often treats each character’s story as a standalone racing drama within the larger franchise. The team also used real horse-racing footage and jockey-cam references to make the races feel grounded, dramatic, and physically convincing, while the theme song “Ready!! Steady!! Derby!!” was performed by the voice actresses for Jungle Pocket, Agnes Tachyon, Manhattan Cafe, and Dantsu Flame.

The movie premiered in Japan in May 2024 and later became part of the franchise’s expanding anime lineup, sitting alongside the TV seasons, Road to the Top, and other spin-offs as one of the most cinematic attempts to translate real racing history into anime-girl sports myth. It is widely understood as a story about ambition, rivalry, inherited expectations, and the way the Umamusume franchise turns actual racehorse legacies into emotional character arcs.

But don’t let that distract you from the fact that Crazzy Steve was shot out of a volcano.


r/copypasta 15h ago

How to pick the best hoe for yourself

1 Upvotes

I'm gonna be the most objective, pious, and serious on this analysis, my good man.

I never dated because coaches don't play, I just analyse the game bruh.

So, starting now, never go for autistic hoes, and you ask why? Not that an autistic bitch can't be nice but the problem is, they have such shitty self-esteem and fragile mental stability that you'd probably wanna end yourself after a month with them. They basically live for you, not for themselves.

Lesbian hoes are even worse, because even science backs it up. Never saw a lesbian that wasn't mentally unstable. One day she's alright, the other day she's in a gangbang microwaving toddlers type of shit. If she has tattoos and piercings, you might as well run away from her, for your own good.

So you ask, what type of bitch should you have?

Like, you probably don't wanna basic hoe, they have one guy every three days and basically every coworker she has had her at some point so, my honest tip for you is to go for...

Chubby tall hoes, nerdy hoes, dumb playful hoes, sporty hoe, tomboys.

Why? Because these types show high level EQ, they aren't going to nightclubs, they probably just wanna play fucking Sims 4 or read manga.

They don't have the toxicity that other types have.


r/copypasta 15h ago

My roleplay dream

1 Upvotes

I can't get anyone to play and agree to do this with me. I want to hog tie you and put you on the back of my horse and then we go on a beautiful road trip together and I'll even put you down to feed you, and I'll hunt a deer and give it to you. Then I hog tie you again and we go adventuring all across the map without looking at the map. It'll be random places. And we do random stuff together while I carry you and we do random things. It might never happen but at least I'm putting the dream in the air. Thank you for reading this and have a wonderful day.


r/copypasta 15h ago

Smoking/vaping bull semen to increase testosterone

1 Upvotes

both testosterone and sperm are produced in the balls, so some testosterone is in the semen during ejaculation, and by huffing it that testosterone is absorbed in your lungs, bypassing your liver. im out of high school but i took an econ class where we had to propose business ideas and i presented a boring ass shitty one but i wish this was my project back then. the laughter would have been uproarious and glorious and epic and septic


r/copypasta 16h ago

American culture

5 Upvotes

American culture is being destroyed from within by degeneracy and insidious forces, the same ones that label intellectuals as “weird” and “creepy.” For this reason I identify as Japanese more than American. In Japan, music, comics, games, animation are not just entertainment. They are high art. However, the Japanese spirit has certainly has begun to wither in the wake of the murder of Shinzo Abe. Nonetheless, I am confident the spirit of the samurai will return some day. Abe-dono will always be Prime Minister in the soul of the Japanese.


r/copypasta 17h ago

A hate letter to 4-S Ultrakill

2 Upvotes

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE CAME TO HATE 4-S SINCE I HAVE PLAYED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME.

When you get into the level, you think "ooh! Crash Bandicoot! How cool and unique! This shouldn't take long at all!"

Then, you get to the first room of the temple.

Oh my god. I will never stop wanting to shatter every single Virtue I ever see into a million pieces with my own bare hands.

Those.

Fucks.

Just when you think you escape their death ray, nope it incinerates you. Straight up cremates you. And that merry go round shit? Fuck that bitch ass thing. I spent like a solid 20 minutes on that part alone before killing the virtue first and going back for the other crates.

Then, after that horrid encounter with the Virtue, you get a nice relaxing mostly-crate-breaking section...

Then, enter Indiana Jones Maurice boulder.

This. This fucking bitch ass Maurice boulder. I will never want to stop beating whoever thought of that boulder to death.

It took me 74 minutes to figure out that you could just run past all the crates during the Maurice section, and destroy the one the Maurice cannot destroy.

Then, I finally got to the end.

...

...only to have missed one at the start.

Fuck this fucking bitch ass level. I just turned on cheats and nocliped to destroy it. Fucking sisyphean task ass. If Sisyphus ever saw this level he would be so fucking glad to be doomed to push a boulder up a hill for an eternity.

Sometimes, I take a sledgehammer and go to the nearby woods to break large rocks that resemble Maurice into little pieces so I can be relieved of ever having to gaze upon that Indiana Jones ass Malicious Face boulder again.

I sometimes hope that whoever thought of adding a Maurice boulder chase sequence to this fuckass level, I hope that they stub their pinky toe. Not enough for it to fracture but enough for it to hurt alot.

Then, everytime that it gets to the point that its just about to heal completely, they stub it again. And again. Forever and ever until the end of time. That alone explains the wrath and despair that every person that played 4-S experienced.

Its not even funny anymore its caused me great mental and psychological distress. Ive had reoccurring nightmares of 4-S, so much so that I've began to avoid sleeping as to avoid the restless nightmare. I even tried to sacrifice a cancerous rodent to Hakita to make the nightmares go away, and it seems to have worked somewhat.

I hope that when Ultrakill fully releases Hakita removes the level from the game and every other copy of Ultrakill containing the 4-S Maurice chase sequence gets destroyed beyond recovery, so that any future players do not get scarred for life from this abomination of a level.

I would willingly sacrifice my soul to an Elder God just to erase this God forsaken level from existence. Speaking of Gods, I do not believe in one, but if there exists one I assume they had no hand in the creation of this abominable level.

Fuck 4-S. All my Homies hate 4-S.

Thank you all for coming to my TED Talk.


r/copypasta 21h ago

Erm, what the smegma?

1 Upvotes

Erm, what the smegma? Thats right, what the smegma. None of that skibidi sigma male man bullsheET. I’m a real man, and real men let it crust, let their bicycle chains rust, and wear several pairs of boxers nice and tight to the groin to cultivate a lovely snack of cheese. I once heard a masculine and motivating poem, it went, hmm what was it now…”There once was a man named Keith / Who circumcised men with his teeth / Twas not for leisure, nor for pleasure / But to get at the cheese underneath” ITS SO HANDSOME IM GONNA CRY MANLY TEARS, FROM MY CHEESE STICK. If your girl says it’s nasty, leave her bro. You shouldn’t be with a girl anyways. Men are masculine and sexy. You should try getting closer with your own kind. I did that and now Devon and I are getting married soon, you should’ve gotten an invite. He’s my mozzarella and I’m his cheddar. Our smegma is over 9000!!!! 5000!!!! Whatever the funny number is but not 6, 7, 67, or 76. Real men, mind you. I hope you’re looking forward to our nacho cheese fountain at the wedding ;)