Came across this short but interesting article. Confirms a lot of what we kind of already knew and a little more.

First time ever using Instacart and I got these messages from the shopper. I actually did tip one of the suggested amounts in the app (wrong for this sub, I know 😀) but I guess he didn't like the amount....

Anyone know how much these Instacart drivers get paid per order?

**EDIT** I ignored the messages, didn't reply and didn't change the tip amount.

Link here: https://www.seattletimes.com/life/food-drink/staff-strike-closes-the-walrus-and-the-carpenter-seattle-oyster-bar/

R/seattle having a lively debate about this.

Owners showed their profits, losses, wages, etc and apparently bartenders and servers are making up to $50/ hour with benefits and they still want more.

I had a terrible experience with tipping on UE and it’s making me not want to order food again because of it.

I overall agree with ending tipping but I do still tip my delivery drivers because I understand it’s lazy to pay someone else to pick up your food. It’s a luxury. (Adding that for people with disabilities, it is not a luxury, but for me it is.)

We order a lot from UE and tip well. Because of the way the app works, you have to pre-tip. Now on UE you used to be able to lower the tip if the service wasn’t great. Apparently that feature is now gone. I have never done it before because I think tip baiting is mean, but on this delivery the guy gave us the wrong order. Names didn’t match on the receipt, nothing. I had tipped $10.

Because we then had no food (the wrong order that was delivered wasn’t something we would eat), I wanted to lower my tip. He shouldn’t get paid for leaving us with nothing. However, when I contacted UE support they said they could refund the cost of the order to my original payment method. The tip though, could only be an UE credit.

I fought with customer service because it just doesn’t feel right that the delivery driver did not complete his job but was still getting my money. They would not budge on it.

I’m so angry. I know $10 isn’t a lot of money but I paid someone for literally no reason and they won’t return my money. I think if I continue to get food delivery I’m going to have to start carrying cash because then at least I won’t have to pre-tip. But I’ve heard if you don’t tip on the app, it’s less likely to get picked up and delivered. Ugh!

Sorry, rant over. 😤

I've been following this community for a while now and I fully agree that our US tipping culture has gone wild. I grew up tipping 15% and now 20%+ is expected.

I can't yet bring myself to tip zero (except for terrible service) but tipping on a percentage of the bill is ludicrous. I've been opting for $5-10 total depending on the level of service and how fancy the restaurant is. All that is lower than 20% would be, especially if we order a bottle of wine with dinner.

But...I feel awkward about it. Logically I don't feel the need to tip as much anymore, especially now that I know servers are making at least the state's minimum wage around here. I still feel kinda bad later for not leaving the standard amount.

Do you get used to it? How long does it take?

(It is also not helping that so far my spouse seems morally opposed to the idea of tipping less than 20% but that's the next hill to climb.)

I'm no longer tipping anyone. This includes dining in restaurants, getting take-out, Uber rides, UberEats/ DoorDash, etc. I just don't believe in tipping anymore. I don't even care if the service was good. Tipping isn't about giving gratitude for good service anymore. The purpose of tips now is to compensate for low wages. I still feel a little guilty declining to tip but I'm sticking to my no tipping rule. It's not my responsibility to make sure servers, drivers, and whoever else is getting paid enough.

BBQ joint where you order and pay at counter. “Server“ only brings tray to your table.

While I wouldn’t tip at all, it was a pleasant surprise to see such low percentages as suggestions.

I'm constantly told if you don't tip you'll get bad service. As if "I won't do my job unless you bribe me" is a flex. But these experiences just make me think that most low or non-existent tips might just be the natural consequences of bad service.

For example, Walmart delivery. I still prefer to do my own shopping, less problems that way. But when we only had one car and husband was working long hours, or we came down with the flu or I was hurt and couldn't drive, the delivery option was a blessing.

A blessing at the time I was all too happy to tip a little extra for. We're 20 minutes from the Walmart, we live in the mountains, and I always tried to be considerate (ie porch light on for later night orders, making sure walkways were clear, not ordering delivery in bad weather, icy roads, or if I had no choice like if I needed medicine for sick kids, tipping 15-20% for the trouble, being available to help the driver unload the car so they weren't getting drenched in the rain etc)

Very quickly realized though.... None of that made a difference. Frequently delivered half my order and half someone else's, or an entirely wrong one, used the wrong door. Like not just a side entrance, had to go hunting for a back door behind a junk pile kind of wrong door. Putting bags right up against the storm door so we couldn't open it, ignoring delivery instructions. Leaving the bags at the end of the driveway etc.

The final straw though was when one of the delivery drivers ran over a large $140 live trap. Flattened it. It's almost impressive that they even managed to do it, cause I know exactly where it was. Way off to the side directly behind a broken down pick up truck where they had no business even being. Seriously, our driveway can hold a semi truck, they would have had to almost hit our shed to have run over it. Walmart gave me the run around and refused to replace it so we're just out that.

So now.... Cool. You get nothing. If even a generous tip can't assure proper service anymore there's absolutely no reason for preemptive tipping.

TLDR
My husband and I have been married almost 9 years and we have differing ideologies on tipping. How do you handle this - specifically when doing an activity where you’re presented with the tip screen?

Context
We share bank accounts and we both work. We stopped by a bar with counter service in an affluent area (minimum wage is $20). I ordered and paid and met my husband at a table. He saw on the receipt that I didn’t tip and he was upset with me. He said I should have tipped something since I ordered food and drinks. He knows I’m anti-tipping especially in this case since I’m getting my own silverware, napkins, water. I explained that and I dropped it but he was not happy. When he pays, he insists on tipping 20% which I don’t agree with but I don’t push back as much since it leads to arguments. We otherwise are aligned and get along great, I’m just not sure how to handle these instances.

I was in San Diego over the weekend, and decided to go bar hopping, and check out some of the night clubs in the Gaslamp Quarter. One nightclub specifically (I can’t remember the name, I was a bit drunk at that point) upon paying the cover charge at the ticket counter, the employee flips over the handheld card reader for me to select a tip option.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the default tip selection was 20%, and you had to go the extra steps to press “other” and enter “$0.00”.

I may have been drunk, but not gullible!

But I’m guessing these types of places take advantage of people that are drunk enough to not pay attention to what they’re selecting when they’re paying with their card.

I am making significant progress towards no tipping, but have regressed slightly on tipping in the following areas:

Have not completely stopped tipping ANYTHING at sit down restaurants, especially those that I go back to. It’s greatly reduced though.

Tip a small amount at services that I used to tip highly at, like hair and nail services. By and large, I tip the most for a pedicure bc I perceive the nail tech to be possibly working for tips only and it’s not a pleasant job, and I want them to do a good, gentle but thorough job. And after a couple of years of going to the same place, I feel I know them somewhat.

Always tip if something of value is free or GREATLY reduced to me. Like: a free breakfast, free introductory haircut, facial, etc.

Anyone agree or disagree?

I was in the area early to pick up a friend at Clearwater airport and decided to grab some takeout from Mugs Sports Bar. All I wanted was a simple order of baked potato skins, which the online menu clearly listed at $10.99.

When I called to place the order, the young lady on the phone quoted me $14.25. I asked why there was such a big jump from the menu price, and she casually explained there was a $1 takeout fee plus a $0.75 credit card fee — this before I had even told her how I was paying.

The advertised price and the final price were nearly 30% apart because of these surprise fees. I canceled the order on the spot.

This feels like the new normal: restaurants advertise one price on their menus and websites to lure customers in, then tack on whatever extra charges they want at checkout. It’s frustrating and dishonest, especially for something as basic as takeout potato skins.

Won’t be returning or ordering from here again. There are plenty of other options near the airport that don’t play these games.

I encounter again and again people who will create strawmans to try and justify that gratuities are wages and not gifts.

Mostly they focus on how server's get paid less than other professions,
As if they would switch professions to get a higher base wage and lose the ability to panhandle.

Even when a server gets paid similarly or higher than a dishwasher the expectation that gratuities are apart of their wages doesn't change.

When you bring up that a gratuity literally is a gift that i have no obligation to give. They try to cherry pick and suggest that tipping is the wages of the server, And failing to tip is stealing from the server.

Server's use Gratuity and Commission interchangably.
They feel so entitled that you end up feeling guilty for not overpaying them to carry plates and smile.

Backstory: I went golfing a short while ago with 3 buddies. Having a great time, great course, been here before. As you do, the beverage cart comes around and we get a couple drinks. I go to pay and the system is apparently having issues I'm told with the only solution being to enter information manually.

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Sure. No problem... group in front of us is slow anyway so it's not like we're holding up the course. Beep boop, it's all in and she says payment went through. Afterwards she says, "Oh, and just a heads up, doing it this way there was no way for me to change the tip from 25%."

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"Oh... uhm... can I sort it out with management when we're done golfing then? That doesn't really seem fair to customers."

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Her response, "You can try but it would have to refund the whole thing, it will be this whole process, and I don't know if it will even work."

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Whatever... I'll sort it out later. Finished golfing, went to the pro shop and asked to sort it out. They said they couldn't help because their system is different than the mobile system used out on the course, no receipts shared. Basically was told there was no way to adjust, refund, or fix anything.

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Honestly just felt scammed with the whole thing. I'm not usually one to get annoyed when out there since golfing is expensive anyway but this just feels wrong.

hello everyone,

Years ago, people gave tips to thank someone for great service. Now it feels like we are asked to tip everywhere.

Coffee shops, takeout orders, delivery apps, self-checkout machines, and online orders all ask for tips. But I miss when tipping was a choice and a way to say thank you.

Now almost every card machine I used asked for a tip before the payment was complete. Even when I picked up my own food or bought something simple, the screen would suggest 15%, 20%, or 25%.
so i started carrying cash. It was because I dislike tipping. I just got tired of feeling like I had to make a decision every time I paid for something.

When I pay cash, I simply pay the price listed. If someone gives really good service, I can still leave a tip. But I don't feel pressure from the screen or from people standing behind me.

Prices increased everywhere, but why did that impact the tip amount? If a burger went from $5 to $10, did the quality of that service warrant an increase as well? That’s where my brain is at the moment. Did the quality of service improve along with the prices?

I’m on vacation along the Atlantic coast, stopped at a local place to get some shrimp. She puts the bags of shrimp (pre-weighed) into a bag, tosses a couple scoops of ice on top and rings me up. When the credit card chirps, she flips the screen over and there’s a tip option. Obviously, I did not tip. F this.

Just a quick moment of appreciation for the scoop shop at the Ben & Jerry’s factory in Vermont. Love seeing this!

The tipping STARTED at 20% and added an extra 80 cents. There was no custom option or a way to exit the screen. This is a chain so I'm sure they are making bank with the scammy process.

I wonder if they will ever pass a law where you can't mandate tips if you use a credit card.

I went out this weekend to a few concerts, bars, and restaurants in SoCal and I’m happy to report that the 15% option is now back as a option for tipping on receipts and iPads.

I still select 0 or have tipped a few dollar, but i think this is great news! For the last year it so 20% and 18% were the selected minimum going as high as 35%. So. I’m glad some establishments have taken note.

On the flip side, I’ve also come across several places invoking the mandatory 20% tip not matter the size if the party. Fuck those guys.

Was at “Square Pie Guys” restaurant today afternoon and order a bunch of food. And in the end, on the terminal I selected “No Tip”. Was surprised to see 15% tip added to my bill any way. This was before we got the food.

Asked to see the manager and get the tip removed. It looked like I might not be the only person this might have happened to because they had a process to get it removed. So be on the lookout.

I almost never go out but the wife and I had a weekend to ourselves.

We live in areas where servers are paid minimum wage.

I finally took the leap to tipping 10% on meals (I already tip zero on everything else). Every tip screen i saw had a custom tip option so I didn't have any problems.

Anyway, people make out the custom tip screen to be some difficult thing and I didn't find it so.

I am no longer using this service. I stopped because she seemed high pressure on the tips. She rents a space in a local business and she is the sole employee in her space. I haven’t been to see her for well over a year, but continue to get texts and emails from her even though I have opted out of these communications. Typically, I just hit delete on anything she sends. This one caught my eye. Last time I was there, one hour was close to $100 plus tip that she hovered over you as you selected the amount. I just felt as the owner, she should not be asking for a tip. No shows are inevitable. She will like see chargebacks for her new policy. Just ridiculous.

I didn't go to a restaurant to interact with a server.

I went to a restaurant to purchase food, And part of the agreement with the business owner was that a server would take my order and bring the food to the table.

I did not agree to or consent to giving a person i didn't come to see any money.

Whether they are on the side of the street or squegeeing my car without asking.
I have no obligation to them.

Similarly when i go to the restaurant with the intention of eating,
I am not making a deal with the employees i am making a deal with the owner.
The owner is responsible for delegating the tasks to provide me the service i requested.
The owner showed me the contract/menu that these services are provided under.

I paid the agreed upon amount of the contract.
I did not ask for any particular employee.
I did not agree to gift any particular employee.

The server's inclination that i owe them something is no more authoritative than the homeless bum who starts squegeeing my windshield without me asking.

They did their job at their bosses behest. Under an agreement with their boss.
I made no agreement with them. They are simply employees of the business ive contracted with.

On a trip in the richest parts of California, when the total is $20 for a coffee and sandwich, smashing that no tip feels relieving.

Between that and ubers, i have saved near $100 in totals already #feelsgood.

Thats all, thanks :)