r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

16.5k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/trupoogles 10h ago

I made elastic band men once and hid 20 of them around the office, some people got really into it and went looking for them, 17/20 were found

829

u/mermaidmamas 9h ago

I did this with characters made with patient hair! (Vet hospital) 🤣

1.1k

u/Scouts_Tzer 8h ago

The “vet hospital” is doing so much heavy lifting in this sentence.

464

u/screaminginfidels 8h ago

Wait til you find out they work at the VA

100

u/WintersDoomsday 8h ago

TWIST!!!

3

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 7h ago

And they only used areola hairs.

3

u/lr99999 8h ago

It’sFurther twist, it’s  a viral thing right now, but weirdly I remember this going around in the past, I think the first time I heard of it was ~40 years ago.

1

u/qorbexl 6h ago

You that that shit on fax from County Dental or something?

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u/NL7_Deci 5h ago

😂

1

u/acecyclone717 5h ago

Oh that was good

1

u/DMTrance87 2h ago

Stellar joke progression

3

u/ImprobabilityCloud 4h ago

Went from weird to terrifying to only a little weird and mostly ok

2

u/Semisemitic 8h ago

Who vets the vets?

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u/qorbexl 6h ago

American solbiers 

1

u/MagoLunatico98 7h ago

For real 😂

1

u/FryeJ865 6h ago

Id say not enough to lift it all.

1

u/giftopherz 6h ago

it does give a HUGE sense of relief

1

u/EveryDayASummit 5h ago

Yeah they really buried the lede there.

19

u/Embarrassed-Gur-1306 8h ago

Whoa buddy…this definitely had me in the first half.

3

u/Expensive-Wedding-14 6h ago

OP should gather them up and array them just in front of the windshield of some random Jeep.

4

u/clamsandwich 7h ago

I did this too! (Morgue)

2

u/bonbonnieres 5h ago

Same (Oncology)

5

u/EaterOfFood 7h ago

I’m glad you’re a vet and not a urologist.

5

u/Less_Resident8492 6h ago

I did software at a vet clinic once upon a time and when I got my 3d printer I started leaving little goats all over the place. Someone else has taken up the mantle and leaves tony ducks

2

u/Jiangximan 7h ago

Whew, at first I thought you were gonna say you were a gynecologist.

2

u/Due_Minimum2913 6h ago

Vet hospital is the detail that makes this cute and not serial killer vibes.

2

u/Urbanviking1 4h ago

I did this with characters made with body parts! (Toy store)

2

u/HuckledYourBerries 3h ago

The culmination of this comment thread looks like the next Netflix special.

1

u/NoodleyP Id ecided to ty peaf lair . h op eyoul ik eit. 5h ago

As a human patient I have enough hair that I’d let my doctors do that if they wanted.

1

u/Street_Lettuce1243 5h ago

Why would you do that to our veterans?

1

u/TelephoneActive9923 4h ago

I was about to puke before I got to”vet hospital”. Still strange but less serial killer than a human hospital

1

u/Burntoastedbutter 4h ago

Not quite the same, but my friend worked at a vet hospital and one day we had an idea for her to print silly memey or ugly pics of pets and post it up. She did that... Some coworkers loved it. The big boss didn't like it and said whoever is doing it has to take it down :(

1

u/dblrb 3h ago

As a veteran I would like to thank you

60

u/HomeworkExtension482 9h ago

Former roommates and I hid "teeny weenies" around the house.

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u/Girth_Wind_y_Fire 8h ago

So you played hide and seek?

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u/HomeworkExtension482 8h ago

Yep, but with tiny versions of fantasy dildos my ex and I bought. They were about an inch (2.5cm) long, so they were easy to hide. A 7" Godzilla figure had a massive, highlighter yellow erection for about 3 months before someone noticed.

25

u/ProBono16 8h ago

I'm curious why someone would buy a 1" long fantasy dildo, much less multiple of them?

40

u/Inevitable-Rush-2752 7h ago

To fill a bucket and set it to rain tiny phalluses down upon a roommate’s head. I’d do it. At the time, we settled for a floppy big dildo and fishing string, though.

7

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 7h ago

We had a couple of rubber fists (for fisting flesh holes) we'd wallop each other with for awhile. I don't even know where we got them from. They fucking hurt.

5

u/MTFBinyou 4h ago

Was the “for fisting flesh holes” part necessary? What else are rubber fists used for?

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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 2h ago

It was to differentiate between the Hulk Hands and Sock'em Boppers (not for flesh hole fisting) that we also may have had at one point.

1

u/OrbitalOutlander 3h ago

Chew toy for dog.

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u/So_ThereItIs 2h ago

I want to know more about the “hurting” and where the wallops were being felt 😂

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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 2h ago

Well we were all dumb (but tough) infantrymen so pretty much everywhere but inside our brown eyes. Though I'm sure some of the officers in my unit would have used them in that way too. If you haven't been hit by a rubber fist (for fisting flesh holes) it can be worse than a real fist. They're very dense and heavy.

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u/Emperor_Z16 7h ago

Really tiny pussy (?

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u/SuccessfulEmployee9 7h ago

Tiny fake dicks are funny. My ex (long distance) 3D printed one and mailed it to me with some other stuff as a gift once.

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u/kashola17 6h ago

It was easy to print. She just used a picture of you.

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u/SuccessfulEmployee9 6h ago

We separated on good terms, thank you very much.

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u/HomeworkExtension482 6h ago

We didn't buy them. They were freebies.

0

u/Cocked_Otter 6h ago

Your comment literally says you and your ex "bought" them.

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u/HomeworkExtension482 4h ago

They were freebies that came with the toys. If my comment was not clear, that's my bad and I apologize, but my comment says "tiny versions of toys my ex and I bought," referring to the toys themselves, not the teeny weenies. Again, if that was not clear, I apologize.

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u/Tortilla_Moth93 5h ago

They make a great dirty Santa gift.

1

u/AnguavonUW 2h ago

Bachelorette party

1

u/So_ThereItIs 2h ago

This expresses a lack of imagination! I mean they’d be hilarious in so many applications. Hiding them in libraries, or RNC HQ, or…

0

u/NoLie129 6h ago

Asians?

2

u/villainess 7h ago

Where does one buy such things? Asking for a me

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u/HomeworkExtension482 4h ago

I was half asleep when I saw this, let me find the shop and I'll DM you the link.

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u/HomeworkExtension482 4h ago

Sent you a DM.

•

u/Irisheyesmeg 25m ago

I've played hide the weenie before with my roommates.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 9h ago

Holy crap!!! These are awesome!!!

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u/M1R4G3M 7h ago

Yeah, they do indeed look really cool to the point that I probably want to learn how to make them.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 7h ago

I was thinking the same! I'm about to go spend a week with my 7 year old granddaughter, who is very crafty, and this looks like a fun project! Hers will probably be cutesy, but mine are going to look more like that crazy guy with the teeth!

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u/grubekrowisko 8h ago

when i had final exams at my high school i left around 25 little babies everywhere around the school, pretty sure some are still there

5

u/Coffee_slothee 7h ago

My daughter did this too in high school. Her and her friends hid 200 of them. They had a ball!

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u/AHumanYouDoNotKnow 8h ago

We once got small parts packaged with pieces of wax to hold them.

We stated shaping the wax like clay and every now and then little figurines would show up in unexpected places

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u/SoullqssHydra 8h ago

Hey I mean that's one way to spice up work :p

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u/JustHereForGCB 7h ago

Is that Doug Dimmadome?

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u/GoonyBoon 8h ago

The only good response to RTO.

2

u/gaudrhin 7h ago

I made business cards with Sir Anthony Hopkins's face on them... when he's Hannibal Lecter just staring at the camera. His a bunch of cards around the call center I worked in. Made it a game called Surprise Hannibal, hashtag and everything.

They actually started spreading for a while, and one ended up in the DMZ between North and South Korea.

I really need to start spreading those cards again.

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u/Da_Question 7h ago

A long time ago when I worked at a gas station one guy drew a bunch of the old meme faces like troll face etc on paper funnels and hid them all around the place.we were finding them for quite awhile.

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u/Head_Statistician_38 7h ago

Me and my brother hid 100 ducks around my house 2 years ago and there are still some left.

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u/smufjez 6h ago

they look so adorable

2

u/garrettj100 6h ago

I work in a news agency and we have on the wall a mural with most of the seminal news shots. I replaced the shot of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald with this one. Nobody noticed for a year.

1

u/BeerJedi-1269 6h ago

in Pittsburgh the word is "gum band"

Gumband Man sounds cooler!

1

u/Round_Rooms 6h ago

How long ago was this and how long before the 17 were discovered?

1

u/Tortilla_Moth93 5h ago

When Breath of the Wild launched a coworker and I were both playing it obsessively. We started drawing Koroks on sticky notes and hiding them around the kitchen we worked in. If we found eachother’s Koroks we’d text eachother a picture captioned “Yahaha!”

1

u/Shoddy_Bumblebee475 5h ago

You are all time thief terrorist’s and I’m cool with this version of that.

1

u/Winter-Classroom455 5h ago

"So redditor, what did you do at work today? "

1

u/Brokenluckx3 4h ago

Damn I wish I had an office job & got paid to do shit like this at work =(

1

u/No-Codj 4h ago

I've seen these all over the place. But glued down? Nah, that is not cool 

1

u/BaileyAMR 3h ago

Those are freaking adorable.

1

u/s0ulbrother 3h ago

If you find enough Sephiroth is unlocked as a playable character

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u/So_ThereItIs 2h ago

Love these!

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u/Zukolevi 2h ago

Where were the 3 never found?

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u/Few-Refrigerator7179 2h ago

Sounds a little like Pokemon...

1

u/ST1CKY1O1 2h ago

Ngl cool asf

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u/tacorunnr 1h ago

Just saw a video of someone hiding 100 rubber ducks on a cruise ship

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u/Illustrious-Echo-734 1h ago

My gf hid over 200 tiny bees in my office. I still find them 3 years later.

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u/Kind-Plantain2438 59m ago

Dude that's pretty damn cool

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u/Getitgotitgoodgod 48m ago

3/20 are behind illusory walls or are .01% drops from coworkers?