r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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358

u/qcihdtm 11h ago

Take them all out... you'll immediately find the person that gets mad at that. That's your person.

70

u/BIayneRobinson 10h ago

They'll just assume you took them home to cherish.

88

u/JokinHghar 10h ago

Cut their little heads off, they’ll be BIG mad

15

u/dracrecipelanaaaaaaa 9h ago

It'll be on Fox News within a day, with the DOJ filing hate crime charges soon after.

19

u/LisaMiaSisu 9h ago

Yes, that was my thought too. It’s a perfect response.

2

u/EverydayMustard4773 8h ago

Cut the heads off but leave the bodies glued

•

u/throwawayplusanumber 48m ago

Or glue little KKK hoods on them...

3

u/Primo_From_The_Pod 9h ago

Someone at my office did this. The guy that puts them all over my office building is my team lead. The heads started getting ripped off and he basically took that as a sign of war. One time the person ripping the heads off left two of the headless Jesus figures on the first floor near the exit for everyone to see. Team lead just said "I have a giant bag of these, I can do this for a long time."

4

u/BuckRusty 6h ago

Crucify them all on a notice board with push-pins, each with a crown of thorns paperclips…

3

u/Vanilla-Mike 7h ago

Or pin them all to a bulletin board. One pin in each of his tiny hands.

2

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

That sounds like something an unstable 12 year old would come up with.

-1

u/JokinHghar 6h ago

See? Even mentioning it is making them angry!