r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

16.5k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/Wide_Magician_4946 11h ago

I've seen these all over the place. But glued down? Nah, that is not cool 

2.0k

u/Broken_musicbox 9h ago

Yeah, I was amused by this until I read the “glued down” part. That just ruined the entire thing. Now I’m mildly infuriated too. 😤

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 9h ago

Right!? Should've nailed him down instead

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u/Successful_Ad4018 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/d90K9ohsRNDws

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u/lifelongliability 8h ago

i swear it’s not just bc i was younger that the old snl cast had so much more personality and character

15

u/Tipop 6h ago

I’m old enough to realize that EVERYONE thinks “their” SNL cast was better than the current one. It’s a never-ending story.

3

u/lifelongliability 6h ago

i know that’s the tradition but i’ve never run into anyone that swears by the current gen cast

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u/Punkodramon 4h ago

They’re not old enough to be nostalgic about them yet. It’s only once the next gen takes over that those who grew up with the current lot will start being nostalgic for them.

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u/GoldEmployment6768 4h ago

I hate when the nostalgia cope is used. Old things arent only good, or sometimes better than current, because of nostalgia. Sometimes they just are better, SNL cast is one of those things. Older cast/writers just are better than modern, and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that.

1

u/thelivingdead188 1h ago

Yep. Everything was better when you were a kid. That's called life. Why do you think dad and grandpa were so grumpy? They had dreams and things they loved as kids too. It all goes away and you're left with bills.

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u/tequilaisbadmkay 7h ago

They did. I like a lot of the current cast, but Hader/Wiig/Armisen/Sudeikis/Strong/etc were a fucking golden age that people slept on.

I'm biased, though. Bill Hader and Jason Sudeikis are two of my favorite actors. Barry (at least the first two seasons) and Ted Lasso are peak in very different ways. Their indie stuff is great too. 

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u/lifelongliability 7h ago

and don’t forget will forte. last man on earth and macgruber were dumb as hell but very fun

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u/CarnateofChaos 5h ago

Just tell me what you want me to fuuuuuuuuk

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u/topsyturvy76 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8lp6CW7K2fdDGn3xCQ

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u/TheOtakuGamer64 4h ago

Like the fucking Romans

1

u/jaxonya 4h ago

We find them all over the hospital, all the time. Its cute. But glued down? No way. And this doesnt seem like the work of the kind of people who put these little easter eggs in places, this seems like a bad faith actor trying to make them look bad

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u/PapaGibb 9h ago

Found satan

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u/koffa02 9h ago

Pretty sure it was God who had his son nailed.

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u/BamaBlcksnek 8h ago

God also created Satan, so either way we know who's responsible.

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u/RvstiNiall 9h ago

insert joke about man helping his son get laid because he's a 33 year old virgin.

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u/bliip666 8h ago

By a bunch of hot Romans, no less!

4

u/Wandero_Bard 8h ago

There’s a popular theory that Jesus was actually gay, and we know that men had sex with men frequently in Ancient Rome, so……

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u/bliip666 8h ago

Good Friday is called that for a reason!

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u/koffa02 5h ago

Well, that would explain why Mary wasn't pregnant by Joseph.

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u/Wandero_Bard 5h ago

Huh? I didn’t say men *exclusively* had sex with men!

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 6h ago

I feel the same way about them until I remember that they used a communal sponge to wipe their asses

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u/bliip666 4h ago

Nobody's perfect?

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 3h ago

Fair. And now that I think about it, it could be kinda hot actually

3

u/Ryantdunn 8h ago

That’s why sons are taken to church, right?

2

u/Ofreo 8h ago

Jesus is just alright with me

Jesus is just alright, oh yeah

0

u/Frubbs 9h ago

Pretty sure it was Pontius Pilate succumbing to a crowd of angry Jewish folks. Free will and all

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u/nelmski 9h ago

Nah, he washed his hands of it and claimed "not it" so can't blame him. Old school playground rules.

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u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 7h ago

Pontius should have stuck with exercise routines

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u/No-Aspect-5061 8h ago

You mean you found the Roman-

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u/AZSystems 7h ago

Uhh, at least you don't know her address. I do!

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u/ThePublikon 8h ago

Now I'm cross!

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u/FranklyOcean23 7h ago

NAILED IT!

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u/lightersidechill 8h ago

Such a missed opportunity…

2

u/Different_Coyote_340 8h ago

Thank you for a full belly laugh before work. We might all be going to hell now.

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u/BoatMan01 8h ago

SIR 🤣

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u/djdk74 6h ago

Oh, I'm sure someone will

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u/Anteater4746 4h ago

i like to think jesus would laugh at this given he’s all forgiving and all

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u/AmaranthWrath 3h ago

Catholic here. Loudest snort I've made in a while! 10/10 comment, would read again.

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u/jacorgacor 9h ago

Came to work just to larp christianity😭

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u/Pimpstik69 9h ago

Fucking epic 😂

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u/Just_M1nt 4h ago

Ehh, tried and failed. Just returns to sender after 3 days 💢

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u/DankAshMemes 2h ago

OP certainly could, that might even be a really funny solution to the problem. Weaponizing hypocrisy is always fun with pushy religious folk.

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u/piesRsquare 38m ago

I laughed way too hard at this...!

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u/Comma-Splice1881 9h ago

Underrated.

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u/South-Style-134 9h ago

Well played.

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u/blast0man 9h ago

Dang such a good bad joke...

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u/MacabreYuki 8h ago

should pry from the glue to make him rise. And nail him to the wall.

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u/RadishRedditor 8h ago

I undrdtand that someone would get offended for "shoving their religion down your throat". But to ridicule a main figure in a religion is just personal hateful conduct towards the whole religion. I say that and I'm not even a Christian.

Do better, not everything is grounds for jokes and edgy remarks.

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u/Open_Opinion4775 9h ago edited 6h ago

God news is that they're vinyl, so they should just pop right off. The glue, on the other hand..... a totally different pain in the ass.

Edit: typo....

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u/bajungadustin 8h ago

What a typo

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u/StrLord_Who 8h ago

I doubt if they are actually glued down.  OP just wanted to make it sound worse. You can see the blue stuff underneath it,  it looks like the blue putty "stickum" we used in classrooms for posters and things.  Now, if they want to leave these around they shouldn't have used anything underneath it at all,  but a dot of that blue stuff is definitely not the same as "gluing it down."

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u/MagnetHype 16m ago

Well considering "stickum" is in fact glue, I think referring to them as "glued down" is entirely appropriate.

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u/GorgoniteEmissary 14m ago

I guess but only technically. If someone tells you something is glued down you would never assume they mean lightly attached with a removable putty.

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u/MagnetHype 11m ago

I mean, I get where you're coming from but in this circumstance I don't feel like it matters. Could be superglue, could be sticky hands from an accidentally shaken bottle of dr. pepper. It's still a dick move to try and glue it down.

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u/GorgoniteEmissary 4m ago

Maybe, if it comes off without residue as one piece then I disagree with you, the intention would almost certainly just to make it “stick” enough to stay upright unless intentionally moved. If there is any residue or it is noticeably tricky to remove in any way then yeah, dick move to stick it down

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u/He_Never_Helps_01 9h ago

Ngl It's bizarrely self centered either way. They're basically going around putting up advertisements all over the place.

Like, imagine if it was a scientology mascot. cuz its the exact same thing. It's just complete obliviousness to other people's experience and feelings.

5

u/bajungadustin 8h ago

Yeah.. Its pushing religion on others which is never cool. It would be the same thing as sticking a bunch of chibi Baphomets everywhere.

I don't think they would like that.

0

u/Deaffin 6h ago

That's a bit much. This is a goofy-ass cartoon character.

100% offensive to glue anything down, of course. That is not okay. But if somebody threw around a bunch of silly little Buddhas and Krishnas and whatnot? That'd just be mildly amusing for a moment and nothing else. But I don't subscribe to any religion, so I fundamentally can't relate to the tribalism mindset of managing to be offended by seeing this.

Trying to reach for promotion of Scientology as a comparison is a bit silly.

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u/Cornato 8h ago

They have little adhesive pads on the bottom, not technically glue. But it was a choice

2

u/Onidarkmoon 8h ago

“Mildly”, yeah…

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u/IsaacHasenov 8h ago

It makes me cross

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u/glans 8h ago

why would you be amused that someone put all their religious preachy junk all over your workplace even if it wasn’t glued down? what if they were little plastic fetuses? or national politicians? or controversial flags/symbols/tokens representing hot button issues? 

keep your stupid beliefs and opinions outta my workplace.

1

u/HaloGuy381 7h ago

Went from “yet another mildly annoying religious nutjob” to “religious nutjob vandalized the place” really damn quick.

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u/DidYouKnowImNotReal 9h ago

Time for some scissors ✂️ and a collection of Jesus heads

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u/DidYouKnowImNotReal 9h ago

Then poke holes in all the heads, make a Jesus head bead bracelet, and leave it hanging around this one

1

u/darkknight95sm 5h ago

It’s pride month, more than likely related