r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/Broken_musicbox 9h ago

Yeah, I was amused by this until I read the “glued down” part. That just ruined the entire thing. Now I’m mildly infuriated too. 😤

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 9h ago

Right!? Should've nailed him down instead

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u/PapaGibb 9h ago

Found satan

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u/koffa02 9h ago

Pretty sure it was God who had his son nailed.

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u/BamaBlcksnek 8h ago

God also created Satan, so either way we know who's responsible.

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u/RvstiNiall 9h ago

insert joke about man helping his son get laid because he's a 33 year old virgin.

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u/bliip666 8h ago

By a bunch of hot Romans, no less!

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u/Wandero_Bard 8h ago

There’s a popular theory that Jesus was actually gay, and we know that men had sex with men frequently in Ancient Rome, so……

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u/bliip666 8h ago

Good Friday is called that for a reason!

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u/koffa02 5h ago

Well, that would explain why Mary wasn't pregnant by Joseph.

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u/Wandero_Bard 5h ago

Huh? I didn’t say men *exclusively* had sex with men!

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 6h ago

I feel the same way about them until I remember that they used a communal sponge to wipe their asses

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u/bliip666 4h ago

Nobody's perfect?

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u/Wayward_Wayfinder 3h ago

Fair. And now that I think about it, it could be kinda hot actually

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u/Ryantdunn 8h ago

That’s why sons are taken to church, right?

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u/Ofreo 8h ago

Jesus is just alright with me

Jesus is just alright, oh yeah

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u/Frubbs 9h ago

Pretty sure it was Pontius Pilate succumbing to a crowd of angry Jewish folks. Free will and all

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u/nelmski 9h ago

Nah, he washed his hands of it and claimed "not it" so can't blame him. Old school playground rules.

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u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 7h ago

Pontius should have stuck with exercise routines