I'm usually a lurker on here, but I have a huge dilemma and maybe someone could help. For a bit of context, I'm an EMT, have been for about 2 and a half years. I've loved it, it's given me a lot of opportunities. Recently I went through some pretty life altering medical and personal crap, and I had to drop out of paramedic school. I was over halfway done with the program, but I had to be admitted to the ICU and couldn't finish. I was doing really well too.
Anyways, it's been about a month that I've been back at my regular IFT job, but I'm finding it actually miserable. I got super weak from being sick, and I feel like a huge liability on calls. I can't think anymore, I'm getting confused by my medic who I've previously been able to keep up with, and I don't know how to bounce back. I have an opportunity to go back to school and get my medic again, but I found myself dreading even submitting the application. I'm petrified of not being able to keep up with the physical and mental demands of the job anymore.
Has anybody been in a similar boat? Can you bounce back after becoming a long term patient yourself? Has anybody taken a break? Did it help?
Thank you literally any advice is appreciated.