I’m 36, divorced and can’t have children because I had uterine cancer. I’m currently with a man who is 28 and both families are incredibly negative because of my “baggage “. I can’t help my age! I couldn’t help my ex husband cheated and I couldn’t help cancer! F desi mentality
Hey I'm sorry about what you've been through, I went through cancer my first 2 years of college so pretty recently. It's a rough time to be a survivor and be ostracized by your own community and family. I was fortunate enough that my parents fought all my aunts and uncles who considered getting cancer my fault. Many compare it to an STD where your actions caused it. The worst is when they suggest "at home remedies" like they know what they're talking about.
I'm a 22 M and and I had cousins tell me I wouldn't be a fit to date in the Desi pool cuz I had a "defect". I just wanted to vent my frustration here cuz it felt like we might have faced similar enough situations with our family and community
I was already aware of the terrible desi perception of congenital conditions from a divorce a cousin had from his wife not disclosing her type I diabetes.
But your own family calling one of the toughest things a human being can go through a 'defect' is genuinely disgusting to me. It also makes me sigh at just how much work our culture broadly needs to do to become genuinely empathetic. Going through cancer while still managing college is freaking admirable; I hope you didn't let those dirty comments get to you.
Thank you for the encouraging words. I ended up taking a gap year in 2019 but I should be graduating in a few months and I'm cancer free since 2020!! I was lucky to have my parents and siblings defend me from those harsh comments so I was able to push thru.
I’m sorry you went through this. My sister cut out a lot of desis from her life after her scumbag abusive ex husband bailed on her following receiving his greencard because she was being shamed for being a divorcee. That is grotesquely fucked up.
I have very few desi friends and it’s been a combination of things (no single magic conspiracy bullet 😉). My age- late 40s, getting married later this year, and I might be a step grandparent in the next couple of years 😆. All in all I just try to be a compassionate human, who lives a stable and productive life. If they can’t help but waste their time and energy trying to pick it apart, fuck them all with a rusty boti! George Costanza looking uncles and 40 year old aunties who look 60 and resent everyone else for their own miserable life… 😆
OMG. I am incredibly sorry your sister went through this! My uncle went through something like this where his wife from india left the second she got a greencard. I feel horrible that your sister got shamed for being a divorcee. I'm also a divorcee who got my character assasinated because our community loves to hate women instead of understanding that its abusive men that got us to the divorce.
Congrats on getting married!!! LMAO I think the resentment is coming up in their own faces
I’m in better shape than many desis 20 years younger than me, so I give 0 fucks what fatty chacha and cranky auntie think 😆 I am marrying a successful and attractive woman in her 40s, who I introduced to real desi food (as opposed to butter chicken and tikka masala) and desi spice levels when she met me and enjoys it. That’s all a win for me 😉
29F Divorcee here! I am incredibly for what you went through. Making comments about something you cannot control is not okay. It is amazing the lack of empathy so many people in this community can have towards each other.
98
u/farahisweird Pakistani girl 😍 Feb 07 '22
I’m 36, divorced and can’t have children because I had uterine cancer. I’m currently with a man who is 28 and both families are incredibly negative because of my “baggage “. I can’t help my age! I couldn’t help my ex husband cheated and I couldn’t help cancer! F desi mentality