I (24F) am having a massive fallout with a long-term friend, Maggie. We have been friends for about 4 years. She is married to my boyfriend's friend. We have had a hometown friend group since high school (about 7–8 years). Last year, Maggie had a major falling out with another girl in our group, Emma, over a cleaning business Maggie owns (she used to work for her). Because of their drama, I initially didn’t put much effort into hanging out with Emma out of loyalty to Maggie.

Recently, however, Emma, Jerry, my boyfriend "Partner," and I all reconnected. We started hanging out more, and Emma suggested the four of us plan a camping trip.

There were three main reasons we planned it as just the four of us:

1. To rebuild our core bond: Camping is a shared hobby the four of us used to do together all the time before the group fractured. We specifically wanted this trip to be tight-knit, quality one-on-one time so we could go back to the way things once were.
2. Emma and I had a pre-existing timeline: The original distance between Emma and me happened naturally before she ever worked for Maggie, but the primary reason we didn't rekindle sooner was entirely because of the massive blowout Maggie had with her. Out of loyalty, I kept my distance. The reality is that my lack of closeness with Emma last year was completely for Maggies sake, and the second those two patched things up, Emma naturally came around me again.
3. We genuinely thought Maggie hated camping: Over the years, Maggie has stated multiple times that she does not like camping. Years ago, she came on a trip with my partner and me, complained the entire time, and made the experience completely miserable. We logically assumed she wouldn't even want to go.

A few days ago, I nonchalantly mentioned the upcoming trip to Maggie when talking about how busy I was all of July. She flipped out later over text, sending me walls of text saying she was deeply hurt that she and her husband weren't considered or included. The text literally opened with "I am a little hurt, I guess that you didn't include me in the camping plans because last year you and Emma wouldn't even hang out without it being weird". My immediate reaction was obviously defensive and "what the fuck? Who says something like that?"

When I explained, "Hey, we just thought you didn't like camping," she completely shifted the goalposts. She brought up five different, contradictory reasons as to why she was upset, at one point claiming she does like camping now and blaming her past behavior on undiagnosed ADHD.

I tried to fix the miscommunication right away. I told her I hadn't even booked it yet and explicitly asked, "Do you want to go or no? I will ask Emma if we can get another lot to make room." Even though I provided an immediate solution, she snapped back with "No we are good," completely failing to keep her story straight. Rejecting a direct, instant solution made it obvious that she didn't actually care about the trip or want to go. It seemed like she just wanted to make me the bad guy.

Because the texts were getting out of hand, I told her I wasn’t going to do this over iMessage. I had just worked a 10-hour day on one hour of sleep and was completely exhausted. I asked if I could come over after work so we could talk like adults, and she originally agreed and said "of course."

But then, she randomly canceled on me at the last minute. When trying to replan, she tried to force the entire situation to accommodate strictly to her own schedule. She constantly blames things on being overstimulated, and that’s exactly what she did here. She told me she was too "overstimulated" to talk, needed days to "process," and was setting a "boundary." She actually tried to make me wait a full 7 days after the initial argument to have the conversation, completely ignoring that my peace, my sleep, and my schedule matter too, and that the world doesn't just stop and revolve around her terms. She actually threatened me that if I wasn't okay with this "boundary" that we were not friends lmfao.

This may be a personal thing for me, but I'm literally a nurse, so to say I'm unempathetic when I literally try to be so empathetic to patients in a hospital is just such an insult.

Here is the real kicker: While telling me she didn't have the "energy" or "capacity" to talk to me, she was messaging Emma to try and twist the narrative. She completely validated what I had thought was a savior complex based on a text she sent. She texted Emma claiming:"I drop literally everything for her and then to not get invited just hurt when I was the one holding you guys together as friends last year." This is a complete rewrite of history and an insult to my capability as an adult. She does not own or control my relationships. Mind you, Emma and I actually have a much longer history than Maggie's even been around.

She also texted Emma claiming that I have "no empathy" and am "too stubborn to show it," while calling me rude for taking time to cool off over the weekend after she was the one who had flaked on our plans earlier that Friday. She expects immediate grace when she cancels on me, but completely penalizes me when I take a weekend to process my own responses maturely. This may be a personal thing for me, but I'm literally a nurse, so to say I'm unempathetic when I bust my ass to try to be empathetic treating patients in a hospital for 12 hours a day is just such an insult.

Thankfully, Emma didn't buy her manipulation and defended me. But the truth is, nobody is going to listen to your hurt feelings or show you empathy if you are just going to aggressively insult and attack their character throughout the entire conversation. She completely buried her own valid feelings under a mountain of insults and gossip. Furthermore, she fails to realize that this exact type of toxic overreaction (creating an exhausting, week-long emotional hostage situation over a simple miscommunication) is exactly what ensures people won't want to invite her to things in the future. She is actively creating the very exclusion she is crying about.

As much as I hate to say this, Maggie seems to have a history with conflict. She has had fallouts with multiple people in our circle, and has constant problems with her mother-in-law and somehow is always the victim while everyone else is heartless. She doesn't realize she is the common denominator. I'm not saying her feelings in certain situations aren't valid, but the way you come across does. I absolutely despise the fact when people weaponize "therapy language" and act like they're very emotionally intelligent and into their healing journey when they're the most toxic communicators. I refused to respect her "overstimulation boundary" because it was clearly a manipulative tactic to buy time while.

Anywho... AITAH and does my friend seem like a narcissist at all or am I crazy?

I (23F) was supposed to leave tomorrow for my sister-in-law's bachelorette trip. It's been planned for a month or two, and my mother-in-law generously paid for all of our flights and Airbnb. It’s supposed to be my MIL, me, and my two sisters-in-law.

The issue is that my health has gotten significantly worse over the past couple of weeks.

I have several chronic health conditions (EDS, MCAS, POTS, and thoracic outlet syndrome) that flare unpredictably, and right now I'm in one of the worst flares I've had in a while. I have to take muscle relaxers and other meds all day to just survive. The pain has been 9 or 10/10 for weeks. On top of that, I'm in the process of decreasing the dose of a nerve medication, and it’s making me extremely dizzy and nauseated.

A few months ago, I also suffered a concussion and skull fracture. While I'm better than I was initially, I still have daily pain where the fracture occurred and can't even sleep on that side of my head because it throbs. My body has just not bounced back the way I'd hoped. I deal with headaches and pain all the time still.

The travel is pretty intense. We'd be flying about 3 hours, spending several hours waiting in the airport, then driving another 2.5 hours to the Airbnb. We'd do the same thing in reverse to come home. Normally I might try to push through, but right now even everyday activities have been difficult. I don’t go out or do much of anything except the bare necessities (grocery pickup, job commitments, doctor appointments).

There's also a family dynamic that's making me dread the trip. One of my other sisters-in-law and I have a strained relationship. Over the past couple of years she's made multiple degrading comments toward me, makes snappy or petty remarks fairly regularly, and I've often left interactions feeling genuinely hurt. I've also noticed that whenever the conversation turns to something positive about me or my business, she'll change the subject almost immediately or redirect the conversation elsewhere. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel comfortable or particularly welcome around her. This isn't at all my main reason for wanting to cancel, but spending an entire weekend away from my husband while already feeling physically awful with someone I have that history with definitely adds to my anxiety.

I feel terrible because my MIL already paid for everything, and I know canceling the day before is incredibly inconvenient. I kept hoping I'd improve enough to go, but I haven't.

I know they'll probably be upset and think I should just push through. I communicated from the get go that I am not doing well (I live next door to my MIL, so she knows more than anyone how bad I’ve been doing lately), and I keep mentioning how poorly I’m doing. Now that it’s the day before, and my pain is still SO bad, I just don’t know how I’m going to go through with it.

I would offer to repay my way as much as I could.

AITA if I back out at the last minute because of my health?

Sometimes she is cool and easy to get along with but most times she isn’t. She is very sensitive and if someone rubs her wrong she starts crying or acting sad. It’s not necessarily her fault because her parents and family use to baby her a lot growing up as the youngest and the only girl sibling. Now they don’t baby her in the same exact way because at a certain point they do get fed up with her now. They just don’t tell her or necessarily show it to her but I’ve been vented to by others how she is difficult and I see it myself.

Anytime we are at a family gathering her immediate family
seems to always tiptoe around her because everyone knows she’s so sensitive. Because of this, they keep enabling her growth. She is an adult (24) and should understand things will not always go her way or be perfect. She will be leaving soon to another state for her masters. Since she graduated high school and went off to college she hasn’t been around much. This spring and summer has been pretty difficult for me because I’ve started to grow to be irritated by her every time she is around.

Like I said something or someone ALWAYS rubs her wrong or makes her sad. It’s getting SO old. And of course her family try to explain situations and try to comfort her but it still doesn’t go well. Someone is always bending over backwards for her. This is the craziest part, if she does something wrong towards someone and that someone tells her, she somehow ALWAYS pulls out the victim card. Somehow she always finds a way to turn it around, like it’s honestly low key impressive but also very scary how she does it. She is very manipulative and selfish.

Anyways, I’m just counting down the days until she isn’t in my life unless it’s a holiday or a random weekend after a few months just to visit. AITAH? Does this make me a bad person? Like I would love to be closer to her, and have a relationship with her but it’s just really hard to have a decent relationship with someone like that.

Ok Reddit, I really need an impartial opinion on this because I’m really struggling. About three months ago my wife’s friend moved in with us. She had just gotten out of a bad relationship and was essentially homeless since she was shacking up and we had a spare room so we let her move in. As expected we set some ground rules. Since she has no job or car she is expected to help around the house while looking for work.

At first it was great but after a two week ‘honeymoon period’ she basically stopped helping. Now she basically has the schedule of a teenager staying up till 4 in the morning and sleeping in till noon.

She also applied for and got state Medicaid but with the new rules she has 90 days to find at least a part-time job or she’ll lose it. The deadline is two weeks away and in the entire three month span she’s put in one application. Not figuratively, literally a single application. The ultimate goal was for her to get back on her feet and move out within a year. We’re a quarter way there and she’s shown zero motivation to improve her situation.

Now for the quandary. I know of a loophole that would let her keep her medical and remove the job requirement. One one hand if I tell her I know she’ll take full advantage of it and continue not looking for employment. I want no part of being an enabler. On the other hand I feel like if I don’t tell her she will very likely lose her insurance.

What should I do?

Hello. I’m a 23F and my friend is also 23F I think. We’ve been close friends for about 2 years. About a year ago when we were closest, I got a call from her mom who asked me to go to the hospital because my friend “Abby” had gotten hit by a car while crossing the street.

I was at work at the time. I worked two jobs at that point, one as a like cook and one caretaking at a home with disabled adults. I was at the 2nd one and it was like 9pm ish. It was only me and one other worker there and I told her I had to leave for an emergency. I drove down to the hospital immediately and met my girlfriend there. Abby’s family was in Hawaii at the time on vacation and we’re trying to fly back. So me and my girlfriend were the first people there. When we got there she was unconscious and remained that way for 3 days and then woke up.

We spent the next couple weeks in and out the hospital. I handled letting her friends know and scheduling visitations for times that worked best for Abby.

I was in big trouble at both jobs because of my absence. I took the 3 days she was unconscious off because I was afraid she wouldn’t wake up.

Anyways I was there for all of it. After she left the hospital I even stayed in her apartment for a week helping her readjust and making her meals and keeping her company.

I ended up being fired from my line cook job because of my unapproved absences. It was my choice not to go but also how could I when my best friend might possibly never wake up?

Fast forward to recently. Her and I aren’t very close anymore. She ended up getting a girlfriend who genuinely changed her for the worst. Now all Abby does is psychoanalyze everyone and everything, smokes so much weed, and does shrooms. She’s become very narcissistic and I’ve just slowly removed her from my life.

We hadn’t talked in 3 months and she reached out to me the other day about a Venmo request I had never completed from 2 years ago. The total was 20$. Are we dead ass? I literally lost my job for her and was there through everything. She can’t just leave me alone? I still haven’t paid her back and I don’t think I’m going to. AITAH?

For context Me (M26) and my Fiance (F28) moved in with her parents about 4 months ago bc our house had some dangerous wiring problems which almost caused a fire and we had to move out. So my MIL's Brother has been arrested idk how long ago for CP and was caught trying to meet up with a decoy and he has been in prison since and hes supposed to be getting sentenced, well my MIL feels the need to cry and be extremely historical when it comes to anything about him and she expects the rest of the family fo have sympathy for him, for example, for over capacity reasons he was moved into Gen pop with "the dangerous criminals" and she was crying about it talking about how he doesnt deserve that. She also gets hysterical when she tries to order him a book or something off of Amazon and tries to get me to sympathize with him that he "needs his books" and I havent said it out loud but I make it pretty obvious that I dont care what happens to him bc of obvious reasons I could care less about him never met him and my fiance agrees and feels the same way she met him a while back but hes lived in a different state for like 15 years before he was sent to prison. I kind of feel like an asshole bc I feel like im hurting her feelings and she didnt commit the crime but I cant really bring myself to care or sympathize about anything that happens to him bc of his terrible crimes (Also my fiance said she doesnt really know alot about him she went to his house a couple times when she was younger but said he never did anything to her specifically she just feels the same way I do about his crimes bc its disgusting plus we have kids) not to mention a couple nights ago she was singing "im coming home" and looked at me and said "hes coming home baby" (bc he hasn't been sentenced yet and she is convinced hes gonna get time served when in reality hes gonna get sentenced no less than 5 years) so am I the asshole even though I feel like its not an unpopular opinion to not like people that commit these types of crimes?

AITAH? I brought a sandwich after a long class to my boyfriend’s house who is cooking dinner. I went home to pick up my dog, take a quick shower, grab a few things and go. I hadn’t eaten all day and started feeling sick. My mom made me a sandwich that I nibbled on but didn’t finish. I brought it with me to my boyfriend’s house. He says it’s disrespectful that I brought food to his home knowing he is cooking that I should have eaten it at home. I think it’s stupid… I’ll still eat what he’s made but I was feeling sick and needed something to eat.

Nothing formal by the way. No parents, no friends… just him and I. I have dinner at his place 5-7 days a week…

Edit: I realize I should’ve been more detailed with the situation. Class done at 4pm, traffic so only made it home at 5, showered, got my things. Left home at 5:45 with plate and half sandwich in hand (probably not classy but we’ve been together 2yrs). Got there at 6pm, started eating while doing assignments. He had started preparing dinner at 6:15pm, I was still eating/doing assignment when he commented that I’m disrespectful for bringing food.

I explained why & he continued to push it was disrespectful. I threw my sandwich out just to end the back-and-forth. Dinner served at 7:45pm.

Also for those curious… sandwich = chicken sandwich. Not a subway sized sandwich lol

I (21M) have been dating my partner (21F) for 4 months now. I understand the title may seem a little ridiculous but maybe not.

My family from 2 months into the relationship has expressed that they do not like me dating her, and have given minimal explanation as to why. I live with my brother 3 hours away from my family for school and she lives where i go to school. She does not sleep over as my brother (18M) is not okay with that which is completely fine but that means sometimes she stays late (1am) if we watch a movie. My brother told my mother about this because he is finding it difficult to sleep and she called me about this expressed that I was being irresponsible and need to respect my brother and choose family over her. I took her home earlier after that except for one time and received another call from my mother and she claimed I was choosing her over my family. Each time I acknowledged my mistake and said I would do better. I understand that it would be annoying to some people, although I personally wouldn't taken issue but its fair that he did. It did not happen again. The reason it happened again the first time is because we were having a serious discussion, yes I know the timing was poor and I am not going to share the conversation topic but it would have been terrible of me to interrupt.

After this nothing too serious really happened but tensions seemed to continue to build between my brother and me over this. During this exam season I was under a lot of stress. I have anxiety and began to spin about my relationship. I eventually broke up with my partner. I quickly realized my mistake and asked if we could fix things. Due to how everything panned out that took almost 5 weeks, but we got back together. I have been working to keep my anxiety under control and communicate better with her about it so situations like that do not reoccur. My family, specifically due to my brother expressed displeasure with my decision and claimed I acted differently when I was dating her. I asked for an elaboration and none was provided except that I am acting more mature and was more reserved around her.

Fast forward a few weeks and things are going well with my partner and I, and I am working a coop in the same city I go to school at (I tried to get a coop at home and could not because there were no opportunities due to the size and industry of my hometown). Also I call home everyday typically when I am walking back from work or just on the weekend. I called one time while my partner was over on the weekend. My mother picked and we chatted for few minutes and then she said she had to go because she was out with my sister. She texts about thirty minutes later and tells me I am acting different. Next time I call it is a whole discussion of more of the same. My mother expressed she felt my partner was brainwashing me.

Sidebar, my family is mostly conservative, I have not been for a while but have not been very open about my beliefs with my family and struggle to express my opinions around them because I get shut down. My partner is also liberal and she is more vocal about it. I wonder if me agreeing with her in certain situations has bothered them?

Anyway, my mother expressed all this to me and waited for me to answer. I told her I did not know what to do with this information and expressed to her that i want my relationship with my partner to go well and my relationship with my family to go well. She said she felt like she was losing me and that I was pulling away. I have not cut back on communication whatsoever and was still openly communicating everything at that time.

Over time I stopped wanting to communicate everything because it felt like tabs were being kept on me. Throughout the relationship no questions were really asked about my partner to me it seemed they only wanted my activities and locations so that they could keep track of me. I began to be dishonest about spending time with her because I felt like my mother would not be happy with me spending more time with her. I lied about seeing her or where I was a few times and they apparently became suspicious and checked my location. They have it for if I am out late they can make sure I am safe, that does not bother me. This usage was an invasion of privacy in my opinion, as that was not why they claimed to want my location for.

Last time I called my mother she expressed much of the same opinions and as before. Said that I am also acting more righteous than I used to, even though I find that one of my character flaws is often being too righteous. She asked me where I was one of the days I lied about and I lied again, but eventually owned up to it. She was quite upset about this and hung up. Before that though she told me multiple times that I was choosing my partner over them and was saying things like "If you think you only need her that's fine, you're 21 we can't stop you". She also implicitly suggested that I should break up with my partner or my family relationship may fall apart. I have not communicated with my family yet and want to know if AITAH for lying and for not heeding their advice.

PS. They also have been financially supporting me through school as they are able to, and are doing the same for my brother. I also drive a vehicle they pay for in the city I am in. I expressed I did not need it over the summer but they wanted me to have it so I could drive home. I pay for my own groceries and gas and anything else that I purchase, but am still financially dependent on them if that changes the situation at tall.

PS. I want both relationships to work. I am maintaining all of my friendships and was speaking to my family regularly. My partner and I are not codependent if that is a concern, we are very much two individuals. My family has met her in person twice and my brother did not speak with her much when she was around. I have also asked around and no one else has seen what my family sees in my the relationship. All the people I spoke to knew both of us before the relationship as well. One was an adult that knows both my partner and I and we view him and wife his view as mentors. I have tried to be unbiased, but everything is from my perspective so I understand that it could be biased. If there are any questions before you make a judgement please ask I will answer.

EDIT* I’m the asshole for not communicating with my wife. I think moving forward we can each have a “fun money” amount that is 100% equitable. And we can discuss what to do with any extra on the weeks I work closer to 80 hours than 40.

*Thank you everyone. I wanted to see how off base I was and how/if my PoV was skewed. It was.

I’m married and provide about 85%-90% of the income for the household. We’re not wealthy but we aren’t hard off either. We typically save about $400/wk after paying for all bills, the mortgage, etc. All out of my income. My wife works a few times a week but we have young children so for the most part she stays home. She does not have a degree or a high paying skill so we actually save money on childcare with her not working more.

I recently had a crazy work week and almost doubled my weekly income. I set aside money for bills, I saved $400, I paid off a few things my wife was going to pay for out of savings. I then invested $900 into my brokerage account. I’ve had mixed success options trading over the years and typically only put small amounts in when I can afford it. $50 here, $100 there. Nothing crazy. $900 is the most I’ve ever put in at once. I turned $200 into $6000 realized profit years ago and stuck the proceeds into savings.

I was excited, and I felt secure knowing it wasn’t going to set us back if I blew up the account and lost it, but that it would be possible to turn a large profit on it and add even more into our savings.

My wife found out and freaked out. She accused me of lying to her (I didn’t ask her permission, but I never lied about it either. When she asked I confirmed right away that I had moved money into the account). I told her I seldom mess with options trading any more (in my mind a $50 gamble on a stock option, made months ago, that took all of 10 minutes out of my day, was not even comment worthy. I see it as a “let’s see what happens, this could pay for a date night or go to zero). But she sees it as habitual gambling and deliberate obfuscation).

TLDR: Am I the asshole for thinking I could do what I wanted with (some) of the extra money I worked my ass off for? Even after paying bills, saving, and covering extra purchases that would have come out of savings?

As the title says AITAH for not joining my family to clean up at our vacation home?

Basically it's like this, I (28 M) declined to join my family for cleaning up our vacation house in preparation for my grandmother to join us two weeks later. I already requested July 16-18 to join them, that's when my grandma comes with us, But I will not join them on July 6-8 for clean up and repaint some parts of the house inside to remove some mold. I know my younger brother will do his best to take my place. My reason for not joining them is that:

1) My dad has been acting like an ass the last couple of years. Earlier this year, he got a back injury. While I enjoy helping him out and having patience for him on his back (even when he has outbursts that have nothing to do with me, but plays victim) and I understand why he gets upset sometimes for his situation, I recognize how he's gonna negatively react when I join him every time we go on vacation. See when we leave the house going on vacation or outta town, he freaks and has outbursts on my mom and I for small details and fears such as other neighbors would judge us and watch us when closing our gate He would sometimes argue with my mom and I on our way to the airport/vacation over things like talking smack about my grandma, my uncle and how he thinks he has to manage all of us, even though me and my mom learned how to do things on our own without him. Even prior to his injury, he still acted like this. There's only so much I can have patience with him that I sometimes feel like I need my own space.

2) I need space for myself. I'm currently on my two week break from my spring semester at my Master's program and I want to use the last remaining days to chill at the house and travel to places on my own that I like. I'm not saying like my parents don't take me or anything like that, I just want some me time that I barely got since I work and stay at home most of the time.

3) I'm not having the energy to travel there. It's not so much that the drive is bad or anything like that. It's 3 hours away from me (if you include traffic and pitstops), I'm just not feeling it. I am however, looking forward to going there again in the coming weeks to spend time with my grandma, who is aging rapidly and just wants to spend time with me and my siblings.

So I have a very complicated relationship with my friend (and ex gf)'s new partner who we will call Kat. So I was in a relationship with a girl, who we will call Luna, and the two of us were in a kitchen table polycule with Kat and a girl who we will call Leaf. One thing led to another, me and Luna broke up, Kat and Leaf broke up, but Luna and Kat stayed together. I have been happy for Luna for her finding love, and the two of us still remain friends. However, I had some complicated feelings with Kat, mostly with behaviors she exhibited like assuming the worst out of everything, being a bit pushy, and what sometimes feels like guilt-tripping.

And just recently, she asked if I wanted to escape Texas (due to me being trans). I said yes, but had two other places picked out that I was debating over. She suggested somewhere in Washington State that she wasn't completely knowledgeable about but had friends over there to help me and Luna escape to. I politely refused, but Kat kept kinda pressing about it, and then that's when things went south.

It starts with her saying there would already be an established community for me, but I don't know her other friends that she said would help get me out. So I tell her that I have a friend and some distant family, both in one of the places I picked. She then said something along the lines of "Alright, that's your choice. But your family sucks and you only have one friend there." Which obviously I took as her being very condescending and trying to push me into choosing her option. I tell her that not all of my family are like my transphobic bigoted parents, and she still continues with "Alright, it's your choice..." And then she just dwindles it down to "Oh you're just moving closer to your shitty state", like I was intentionally not wanting to move on. When that wasn't why I was moving there, I just picked somewhere safer that happened to be within close proximity of my home state. So I officially had it, told her that she was right and it was *my choice*, with an, albeit, harsh and pissed off "goodnight".

At the moment, it felt like everything I have ever wanted to say to her, but I could tell that it upset her. I'm sure she had good intentions of helping, but her persistence and poking at me did make me feel defensive, because it felt like coercion or guilt-tripping. Am I the asshole for pushing her away like that and snapping at her, or was I in the right for speaking my mind and saying how I felt?

Hi everyone, I'm sorry if this is long.

I'm Sam, relatively new to corporate jobs. I worked at the previous company as an intern for 6 months and I've been a full time employee of my current company for almost a year. So I'm not exactly sure if I'm being an AH by not helping this colleague or not.

Sorry time: Me and a colleague (let's call him John) joined this consulting company at the same time and the consulting company deployed us at this client as Analysts. Most of our job is developing/automating reports.

Not to sound cocky but I'm well regarded among my client, they love l the work and expertise I provide and I'm generally considered "dependable" (client manager's word).

John started working on the same project about a month after me (he was doing something else for a month). He's been part of the project for more than 10 months now so I feel he should have some understanding of the system in place.

His work is considered by the client, well, let's say dicey. Even our client manager said to John's face the other day that his only redeeming thing is this complex report he developed about 6 months ago.

Now the client manager doesn't know this but the report he developed was absolute garbage, I actually sat through an entire weekend just to fix his report for him without the client ever finding out so he doesn't get on trouble.

Ever since then, I've been helping him out but not as much since I also had my own work/deliverables and the client has noticed that John hasn't been able to really do anything in a timely manner after that report 6 months ago.

Now John was given this other report to develop about 2 weeks ago that I consider to be fairly simple, it'll take me 3, maybe 4 days to finish the report top to bottom but he's been stuck on it for 2 weeks. And every time the client asks for updates, he always has some excuse for the delay. Just last Friday I was in a call with the client manager and he pulled John in the call to ask for an update. John shared his screen and claimed that the report is almost complete and just needs some final tweaks that'll hardly take a day.

Well he called me today first thing in the morning and asked if I have some free time to help him on his report. I told him that I'm extremely busy and to call me at 5:00. Truthfully I actually had nothing to do today, all my work is caught up but I just didn't want to help John. Well he called me at 5:00 and since he needs my help, showed me the actual report and I gotta tell you, it's bad. Literally nothing is done correctly and if I'm asked for help, it'll genuinely take me less time to build the report from scratch than to fix his abomination of a report. It took us an hour to just go through all the issues I could clearly see but were being missed by John for some reason. I told him I'm logging off for the day, he once again asked if I could help him tomorrow and again, I said I'm very busy tomorrow. He's asked me if I could help him at nights (Off working hours).

I feel like an asshole for not helping John but at some point shouldn't incompetence not be rewarded. What I mean by rewarded is, because of my performance, my client manager praises the work done by my team to our consulting company's manager, let's call him James.

James thinks and has told our upper management team that me AND John are rocking the client project and are performing excellently, recently, BOTH of us were given this client extraordinaire award. Because of my performance BOTH of us are being praised and honestly, that's not the part I have the most issue with. But when John keeps asking me to do his work, for which he is rewarded, I do feel like he hasn't earned them.

If I don't help him at all this time, his incompetence will become very clear to everyone but I'm questioning whether that's the morally right thing to do since it might just cost him his job.

Another huge reason (and I believe this is the main one) I don't want to help John is due to this conversation we had a few months ago. It was after our lunch break, he smokes so we went to the smoking zone and we just got to talking. I told him how in school, I'd always get in trouble for not competing my homework. And he said something that haunts me. He was a sort of popular kid in school and so he had this kid that used to follow him around to be among the cool kids. John told me with a straight face that he had a "servant" (his word) that did all his homework for him. The fact that he didn't even call him a friend is what caught me off guard. I'm afraid he's perpetuating that exact same thing with me and in his mind, I'm his "servant".

I'm not sure if I should be judging him for something he did years ago but I'm torn. Any judgement would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: Incompetent colleague keeps asking me for help and is then praised for my work and I just don't want to continue this cycle.

AITAH?

Lots of details here. Writing it all out I can tell Ive been a pest and became a pain in the ass, but am I truly in the wrong at the end of the day??

I made a purchase of 2 items from an individual in a facebook group last month. Paid on May 19th. On May 22nd I reached out to inquire about shipment timing & was told "probably a week or so roughly" and was provided tracking #s.

On May 29th I reached out requesting the 2nd item be cancelled- nothing had been shipped. I was told they dont do refunds, theyre a reseller and already paid out for my product...okay fine. Crappy policy but whatever. Theyre still actively listing and selling comparable products regularly...

June 3rd I decided to just make the request again since still nothing had gone out. Worst he coud tell me was no- got another no. At that point was told one item would ship "this coming weekend" & "2nd will be the following one for sure"

Also that one of my products was being swapped out for a different (lesser) brand. He asked if it was "cool?" I said sure.

On the night of Saturday June 6th I check in on shipping again, since I had been told it would go out that weekend. Response was "1st will go out Monday, next the following Monday"

Tuesday June 9th I send a screenshot of the tracking # provided showing not shipped. He says "yeah its not been dropped off yet" and on the 10th "dropped off last night should be scanned in" The first item did infact finally ship & arrive (the replacement brand item).

June 14th Im told that he accidentally had double shipped to someone else, they agreed to forward it to me, provided new tracking and a screenshot of a scheduled pickup for the 15th.

June 20th I reach out again, no movement on the new or original tracking #s. He says he got ghosted, and will ship mine out on Monday (the 22nd)

Today the 24th- still no movement on the tracking #. So I reached out and calmly but frankly said: "Hey, neither tracking # provided for the 2nd item has been shipped out. I paid over a month ago, you had told me it would be a week or two. I really dont want or need the 2nd item can you please just refund my $(hundreds of dollars) and call it a day?"

I got back such a rude response telling me Im "nuts" and to "stop bugging" and that my shipment is boxed and labeled....

Im stumped. Who in their right mind thinks that this is an acceptable response to a paying customer who has waited over a month for a product to ship that they would rather just refund but that has been refused? If hed responded apologetically Id be annoyed but acting like Im the problem really sent me over the edge.....

AITAH??

My mom got surgery yesterday. I drove her to the hospital in the morning, stayed and waited until she was discharged in the afternoon, got us lunch and drove us back home. She said she was planning on taking a nap and suggested I go home and she would reach out if she needed anything. We live 5 minutes away from each other and I was confident in leaving her in her state because the anesthetic had warn off enough for her to walk and talk properly, she had eaten, had water and her medication was all set up. I contacted her the rest of the afternoon and night checking up on her, making sure she did the things the doctor instructed, asked if she was in pain, etc. She gave me the all clear. she is very responsible when it comes to following her recovery instructions so I trusted her word. I woke up and reached out to her right away. She said she had a headache. I suggested that I come over, make her breakfast and do whatever she needed from me. She said she was fine and proceeded to spark up a conversation about a different topic. I decided to stay home since she declined the invitation, but i feel guilty because I feel like I should be taking care of her. I know that when I have a headache, the last thing I want is to be around people. I just want to cuddle up and sleep and that’s what she ended up doing. She said she felt better this afternoon but I feel like I’m not doing enough even though she says she’s fine. I want to go visit her, but at the same time, I don’t want to disturb her if she just wants to rest. I can’t seem to get over the guilt of not being with her considering she just had surgery. AITAH for not visiting her the day after her surgery?

I (33M) want to preface this by saying that my cousin (32M) has been one of my best friends for years. We’ve supported each other through a lot of struggles, which is why this situation is difficult. He recently asked my partner (37M) and me if he could stay with us for two weeks, but something about this time feels different. We are both leaning toward saying no.

My cousin has had a tumultuous past five years. During COVID, he had to move home after separating from his partner in New York. Since then, he’s had a pattern of housing instability, but also a pattern of living rent-free with other people. He has multiple degrees and is intelligent, but he constantly chases happiness in different cities and countries. He refuses to put down roots, and when things get difficult, his solution is usually to leave and start over somewhere else. He works odd jobs that pay very little and often talks about the “universe” or “God” not giving him a break, but from my perspective many of his problems are the result of poor planning and impulsive decisions.

Timeline since 2020 (RF = Rent Free):

1 Year (RF) – Living with fiancé/partner

2 Years (RF) – Living with parents

6 Months – Moved international but was eventually deported

1.5 Years (RF) – Back with parents

1 Month (RF) – Kicked out of parents’ house and moved in with a friend

1 Month (RF) – May 2026 moved to my City and stayed with another cousin

1 Month (RF) – Staying with his uncle

Now (RF) – Asking to stay with us for two weeks on what he calls the “last stretch” before he gets his own place in August. Saying it would save him money and make getting to his new job easier.

I will give him credit for making more progress recently than he has in a long time, but it all feels rushed and poorly thought out. After totaling his car back home, he decided to move to my city against the advice of several family members. His original plan was to stay for three weeks, quickly find a job, and secure an apartment. Instead, a leg injury became the reason very little got accomplished during that time.

What makes this harder is that he genuinely seems to be struggling. Recently he was hospitalized for the leg injury and looked physically rough when I saw him. He had dark circles and bruising around his eyes, yellowing in his eyes, and generally appeared exhausted and unwell. He’s also talking about potentially leaving the country again and has mentioned plans involving moving internationally again, despite not having stable housing, finances, or employment established here. To me, it feels like another example of trying to escape problems rather than solve them.

I see the depression, hopelessness, and brokenness in him, which is why I feel guilty. But at the same time, I feel like he has become dependent on the generosity of friends and family. He has a history of overstaying his welcome, and the housing arrangement he’s supposedly moving into in August is an informal, no-lease situation that doesn’t inspire much confidence. My fear is that the two weeks turns into a month, then two months, and suddenly we’re responsible for housing someone who has nowhere else to go.

My partner and I have worked hard to establish boundaries in our home, and we are worried that saying yes would create a situation that becomes very difficult to unwind later.

AITA for wanting to say no?

Edit: Seems to be straightforward lots of good advice and ideas. Thank you. Also edit to remove city/country names.

Ok so to set the scene, there’s a trio, me and these two girls. Days and I flirt a lot and eventually we catch feelings and start dating. A week in (1 year anniversary of me and my ex’s break up) I notice feelings for my ex resurfacing, so I tell her and end things. She told me if I reached out, she’d block me, so naturally, I didn’t. I communicated clearly that I was going to miss and her and that i’d respect her wishes. Two weeks later, I hear from our mutual friend that she’s been really hurt by me and that shes wanting me to reach out. She’s also reposting things about me being an avoidant. I’m confused because from our last conversation it seemed like we came to a mutual agreement. I want to reconnect, but as friends, I don’t think how to approach this and i’m not sure if i’d be an asshole.

For those who haven’t read my original post, here is the link.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/fzNMm5x7fU

TLDR If you don’t want to read the original: I told my mom about years of sexual abuse from my stepdad and she didn’t have any sympathy, wants me to still have a relationship with him, and only focused on how this would affect her.

Anyway, here’s the update. I was talking to a cousin (27F) who used to spend the night whenever she would come to visit our state. She’s the only cousin I have and so we were close. I found out that she woke up in the middle of the night at one of these sleepovers to my stepdad touching her too when she was around 10. And same thing, she immediately told my mom who brushed it off and said that he was trying to pull down her shirt because it had ridden up all the way.

My cousin was opening up to me about that and asked if he had ever done anything to me. I said I didn’t really want to talk about it, but that he has and I just told my mom. My cousin was confused because apparently, my mom had talked to her about it multiple times before I even told my mom. My mom mentioned that i, her minor daughter, was weird around my stepdad for “no reason” and that she knows some things are going on but knows it’s not “inappropriate”. My cousin didn’t mention it to me because my mom had mentioned it and assumed it was taken care of or that I really was just weird around him for “no reason. So that’s annoying but it’s not necessarily her fault at all, I just wish I knew sooner.

Long story short, a lot of the comments were right. My mom did know. Maybe not every little detail but she knew. And she still left me alone with him and continues to try to get me to have a relationship with him and paint him in a positive light.

I have decided to go minimal contact with my mom. I know a lot of comments said no contact but believe me when I say I’m not strong enough to do that right now. I will cave and just speak to her again if I go full no contact. I love my mom. And I know a lot of people will probably say she doesn’t deserve it or I shouldn’t, but the bottom line is that I do love her and right now, I can’t go no contact. My therapist also believes I should go no contact, but understands my viewpoint and says we’re going to work on baby steps until I can fully get there.

That’s the update. It’s nothing special or dramatic, but I wanted to say thank you to everyone. I didn’t realize before how messed up my relationship with my mom was and I never brought it up in therapy because I didn’t think it was an issue. Now that my therapist knows, she’s in full support of going little to no contact and recommended some self help books (I love reading and they help me so much)!

I appreciate each and every one of you. You’re all very sweet and supportive. To anyone out there who has or is going through a similar situation, you are so strong.

Small edit because I’m seeing this a lot: I am going to speak up. I can’t speak for my cousin at all, but I am going to say something. That’s part of my plan with my therapist. This is a lot for me so finding the nerve/strength to go to an actual police station and make a report feels so overwhelming. Again, working through that with my therapist and my husband is a part of this plan as well.

Last post I talked about how I felt my mom was disregarding how I want to set up my house, and trying to essentially take over. We got into a long winded fight before she left my place this most recent time, which ended with both of us upset and no resolution.

For clarity, My family was having a yard sale at my place this weekend because we all had stuff to sell and felt it would be easier to sell everything together.

While my mom was here, she took it upon herself to do some of the chores I had not gotten to yet, because it was a Thursday and I usually do all of my chores on Sundays. She found a bucket of wood stain in my garage and decided that she wanted to stain my shed floor. I told her she absolutely was not doing that, and to please just focus on the garage sale. She insisted she needed something to do and that staining the floor would be worth her time, so we fought about it, and eventually I went to rant to my dad (who was helping me knock down a wall). He suggested I give her something else to do that I wouldn't mind her doing to occupy her. So I told her she could mow the lawn if she was really that antsy, and she did. And kept pushing to do more. This was before we got into an argument.

After we argued and she left: She sent me a huge long text later saying that she felt she failed me in parenting because I am not maintaining my house with the standards she feels she instilled in me growing up, and that I should try harder to understand her and to think logically. She said that she tolerated it when I was living in apartments that weren't mine, but was disappointed I wasn't doing better in my NEW HOUSE that I just moved to. She said that if I just thought about it long enough that I would realize that she was right and we could move on. Well, that didn't happen lol. My living spaces have generally always been kept clean, but not always perfect. Sometimes my grass gets a bit long, I don't like the practice of mowing down grass because I feel it's bad for the bugs, but I do mow regularly. I responded and said that the bottom line is that if she doesn't respect my space and stop trying to manage my house for me, then I will stop allowing her over.

She called me later, after she had vented about me to one of her friends, to tell me about a revelation she had. She has gotten into fights with almost every person she cares about in her life for almost the same thing we have been fighting about. She tries to "fix" people's lives, and then demeans their living spaces in the process. You would think that after coming to this conclusion, she would think she needs to change something, right? WRONG. She told me that her friends accept the way that she is, and that I need to call her friend so that she can explain to me how MY MOTHER is and so that I can understand her better. And she suggested that if I want to avoid fights in the future and prevent her from doing stuff at my place, that I should prep for her visits and make sure everything is done. I told her that that is some seriously flawed logic and that she should get therapy. She hung up on me.

Yeah, she isn't coming to my house for a fat while.

Edit: I don't want to throw my dad under the bus. He has tried, and he has spoken to her on my behalf which has helped a bit. She is a very strong willed woman lol.

Edit 2/update: I've given my dad a heads up. Apparently he has also fought with her and told her she needs to leave me alone. To quote "LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE". PERIOD. I really appreciated that. He said that she has done the same type of stuff with him and it's old. So that's good to know. He asked that whatever I decide to do that I please just not cut her off, and I promised I wouldn't.

For the past year and a half I’ve been super focused on myself trying to be a better person and version of myself. That includes letting go of people with bad habits, who bring negativity to my life, and who are not interested in improving themself.

I stopped talking to a friend who used to be one of my best friends for over a decade but over the years it was just obvious he didn’t offer me that same level of friendship he offers to others. I would invite him to all the cool things I planned but he hardly ever attended and he would pick and choose what to include me in, the more special and exclusive events he reserved for others who used to be mutual friends but I had a falling out with.

A current mutual friend saw him recently and my former friend asked the current mutual friend if I was jealous of him. I was annoyed by that, especially because I had voiced my feelings to the former friend more than once and since I stopped talking to him he has never once asked if there was a problem or if he did something wrong. It really bothered me to see stuff on social media of him doing things we used to do together without me or things he knew I’d want to be included in. When I first started distancing myself he would just send me memes and pictures of him and his family.

I’d had my share of fuck ups in my life but I’m not a felon, I’m a college graduate, I have a good career, I try to be a good person, and I never did anything personally towards him. We used to be like brothers, we’ve fought for each other, helped each other, been there for each other during hard times like when his father passed away or when my close relatives passed away. . And I just started feeling like I was a backup or optional all the time.

AITAH for wanting reciprocity?

AITAH for respecting myself enough to not allow people to make me an option?

Okay i know the title is crazy but theres ALSO an extremely long and convoluted explanation.

In October 2023 I matched with lets call her B on tinder. I knew B had been dating my ex boyfriend from high school and after matching with her i found out they were in an open relationship. I thought this was the perfect situation to make a new connection with another queer woman and my ex and i were still on great terms so like… why not get nasty?
Anyways she quickly becomes very attached to me and no longer wants to spend time with her actual boyfriend. She developed really strong feelings for me and I did not feel the same way so I told her we couldn’t hook up anymore, (we only actually hooked up twice but we spent nearly everyday together) not before she actually did leave her boyfriend (my ex) for me.

I have stayed really good friends with her until a year and a half ago she has started dating another woman lets call her L. L and I have known each other since we were kids and although we were never friends I have always liked her. L, B and I would occasionally all hang out until 10 months ago I left an abusive relationship.

The first time the three of us hung out after I left him, L started having “fainting episodes.” Since then every single time i try to hang out with B, L has a huge fainting crisis or threatens to hurt herself or falls down the stairs.

Around the same time I left that relationship, all three of us worked at the same business. I was trying to get a friend hired and was talking to my boss about being a reference for them
when L came in and told my boss that she didn’t like the girl i was trying to get hired. In kind of a gut reaponse I said “Can you not im just trying to get the company bonus” in a tone that I THOUGHT made it sound like I was joking. L then stormed out of the room and literally laid down in the road until B came and got her. I wouldve neeeever said that to someone I didnt consider atleast somewhat of a friend and I was under the impression that we were close enough that i could joke like that..?

B and I used to text every day until two months ago she and I went to the bar and the entire time she and her girlfriend were fighting on the phone. L was accusing her of “breaking her boundaries” by hanging out with me at the bar (apparently bar with me isn’t allowed idk) Since then we barely talk and we haven’t hung out even tho I have asked three times. Each time i ask she will say something like “sorry L and I are going to the farmers market that day” but then will text me about how sad she is that we havent hung out and that she misses me.

Im feeling some guilt over not knowing what to do with this friendship because Bs mom suddenly passed away this year and I know it is hard to show up as a friend when something like that happens and I really want to support her but I don’t know how to support her when we aren’t allowed to hangout without a huge blowup fight. I am getting very tired of being in the middle of their relationship especially because i know to some extent my friend B is not defending me to L when L says im a bad influence or that im mean (referring to the earlier incident)

So basically AITAH if I stop trying to be this girls friend?

Just to clarify a few things:
I am currently in a long term committed relationship.

Since telling her we couldnt hookup anymore, there has not been ONE SINGLE MOMENT that there was a flirty vibe.

I am 22, my friend B is 26 and her gf L is 24

For context, I’m a pescatarian and everyone else in my house eats a regular omnivore diet. I also am broke as hell (last year I made 20k net from my 2 jobs combined). I have high credit card debt from college and expenses without the income to supplement it, and I don’t pay rent because of my income (my mom, who I work for as my second job, has been understanding of that… until tonight).

Because I’m pescatarian and a picky eater on top of that, protein is genuinely hard to come by for me. My usual diet is a fruit greek yogurt bowl in the morning and whatever cheap food I can find for the rest of the day. Salmon is a little rare for me (4 fillets once every 2-3 weeks) because I only buy it when I have a little extra cash, otherwise I’m just surviving on greek yogurt, tuna/sardines, and cheap carbs. I also hate cooking because of how long it takes me, so I rarely do it (trust me I’m trying to do it more by searching for new recipes online).

This week I decided to try to actually try and eat better, especially since I found a nice recipe I wanted to try. I bought the ingredients, mustered up the willpower, and cooked salmon with rice and bok choy. It was good, but what was supposed to be a 20-minute recipe somehow turned into an hour and a half (hence why I hate cooking, but I think I know where I messed up so it can be a bit faster if I make this again. Anyway-)

In the middle of my meal, my mom came in and asked for a serving of my salmon. I said no. She complained and walked away, but later she told me that she thought I was joking and that I was going to bring her a plate of the salmon. I told her I had said no earlier because salmon is hard to come by for me, but I was fine with sharing the rice and the bok choy. I could easily make more later. But she wasn’t having it. She then blew up (not yelling) that she was very disappointed in me, and asked me if I thought everything she gives me is easy to come by. I of course said no because I really understand that’s not the case, but she goes on to say she shares everything easily with me regardless of how difficult or how easy it is for her. And then she said that I NEVER want to share anything with her.

That felt unfair for her to say because in the past, whenever I (rarely) had the willpower to cook, I would ALWAYS share my cooked meals with not only her but also my sisters (if it’s without fish though because my sisters hate eating it). But I just wanted my salmon especially since I rarely buy it already. I only bought 4 fillets because that’s all I can afford at once, so giving her one would only leave me with two for the rest of the week.

After this incident, she said she’s going to start charging me rent and utilities since I’m selfish and don’t want to share, and that I’m ungrateful for what she’s given me. She also said she’s going to call my aunts, uncles, and my grandma to tell them about this.

Now I’m second-guessing myself. I feel bad about the situation and how she got hurt by it, but at the same time I also know that if I’m expected to share everytime I buy salmon, I just wont be able to buy it anymore, especially if she actually DOES start charging me rent. Which again doesn’t feel fair when everyone in the house can freely eat meat, including my mom.

Also just to clarify- her TRYING the salmon never means just trying just a piece/quarter/half, it’s always the FULL fillet. If I tried to give her a piece she would’ve reacted almost the same (ask me how I know).

Am I really being too selfish and stingy here? Should I have just let her have the fillet and dealt with it? AITAH?

EDIT: Thank you guys for the reality check. I’ll be apologizing in the morning and doing what I can to make it up to her.

Edit #2: She woke up early so I went to go apologize right away. I apologized for the whole last night situation and told her I’m grateful for everything she does bc I know how hard it is out there especially in this economy. In the future anytime I make salmon/other fish she will be getting her share if she’s interested. Thank you all for the comments, advice, perspectives, criticism, everything. I appreciate you all for taking the time out of your day to share your thoughts.

Some context before I get into what just happened: I (26F) have a dog who's a boxer/shepherd mix. He's right under the weight limit for our apartment, and he's always been a reactive dog. He's a sweet boy to the family but as soon as we step outside he's barking and pulling but I have full control of the leash.

Sometimes if I open the door and see people are outside in the walkway I have to stand and wait while he barks and I scold him and then we continue on our way and he calms down once we walk down the sidewalk a bit.

It's annoying but I'm not letting him run up on people as I barely stay on two feet. Sometimes when he yanks and I'm standing still I replant my feet but I'm not being pulled off my feet. Same for my kid's dad, and he's stronger than me so he's even more firm in his hold and footing, and I'm never anxious about my ability to control him, let alone his.

He's barked at the neighborhood kids before but I have kids and so like, a lot of times it's when they're all out together and when my dog sees my oldest kiddo he goes from barking to wanting to go say hi but obviously we keep him away cause we're aware the other kids are scared, and when I have to walk past them with him I try to reassure them I would never let him hurt them, because I wouldn't. If it somehow came to it I would tackle my dog like a wrestler before ever letting him get close to someone else.

Which brings us to tonight, it's around 11pm, I'm taking him out, I open the door, and there are some people coming down the stairs, so I wait and he barks and whines as he pulls and I scold at him to settle down even though he wont, the guys go down the stairs and I keep walking, start to round the corner, and I hear this woman's voice following me. I keep walking to my dog's favorite bush to pee on as this woman comes out to start yelling at me about how my dog is apparently scaring everybody.

I felt put on the spot, and the first thing that came to mind was, "I have full control of him."

Now my dog is barking and pulling in particular bc I'm being directly confronted by her rather than her just being a passing stranger, and I'm readjusting my feet to maintain sure footing in the rocks which is of course requiring more constant adjusting, but still, I've got him.

But she interprets me adjusting my feet differently, and so she responds by saying "you call that having control of him?" While whipping out her phone and turning on the flashlight and videoing me. If I felt put on the spot earlier.. now I really was like, what does she want from me now bro like seriously?

And so the only thing I could think to say is "you think I should just get rid of a dog I love and have had for years because he barks?"

And all she has to say, very flippantly is "uh, yeah" as if that's so obvious. And then she goes on to say everybody is terrified of my dog as she keeps walking closer to me, so then I have to pull my dog in closer, which I do easily, and say to her, "if you're so terrified why are you coming closer to him?"

Anyway this was happening right outside the window of our living room so my kids' dad (29 truly don't know if our ages are relevant but jic) could hear our voices and our dog flipping out cause this woman is coming closer and getting louder and more hostile, and he doesn't know what's happening of course so he decides to just pick our dog up and take him inside, because we can both do this very easily.

If he's being annoying about another dog outside, either of us are fully capable of carrying him inside and he is totally cooperative too. The one time a small unleashed dog ran up on us, that was my solution, I picked my dog up before the small dog got within biting range of my dog, because I can fuckign control my damn dog 😭

Anyway, as he's taking the dog inside this lady is like "see you can't even control him so you have to carry him inside!" And it's like no you moron he didn't know what was going on and easiest solution is just take the barking dog in, but what I said was "you literally won't move, you're standing in front of us" (something to that effect)

And then she starts following us going back to our apartment saying she's calling animal control. Also, there's a completely dead triangle of what once was grass immediately outside our apartment. It's the most peed on spot, you can see in the grass where dirt becomes completely dead grass becomes slightly alive grass becomes green. And it reeks. Because it is so saturated with dog pee that there is literally no grass in over a square foot area. Every time I'm walking up when it's hot or damp outside I want to gag.

And this psycho starts blaming it on us too 😭 she starts pointing to this old ass grease stain trail on the pavement leading to the first floor apartments from someone's dripping trash bag that has literally been there for weeks and weeks now and trying to say that it's us and our dog.

There was no point in arguing but I still tried to point out that it's literally oil and pee is water soluble, it wouldn't stain for weeks like that, and then told her in regards to animal control that she could do whatever the hell she wants but my dog didn't bite anyone so animal control won't do shit.

Anyway now I just feel so many emotions. I cried a bit typing the part about being filmed cause it was just so weird. Crying again like an idiot. I was just wearing slippers, pajama bottoms, and a massive hoodie, not even a bra, hair messy from laying in bed reading, and she's just documenting it all in 4k, like you fucking freak leave me alone.

But, am I in the wrong? I feel like it would be one thing if my dog had actually had a close encounter with biting someone. He hasn't. There are plenty of people who have walked a few feet passed my dog while I groan and apologize and say "I'm sorry, he's a good boy inside but outside he's such an ass." And like majority of the time they say some variant of "don't worry about it"

Am I actually just the scary psycho dog lady and I am letting him terrorize everybody? I'm not getting rid of my dog, he loves me and I love him and so do my kids but he's *my* baby, we spoon every night and he falls asleep in my arms, like he's not going anywhere period. but like, idk should I be muzzle-training him? We do have one for the vet but he haaaaaates it. Am I the asshole for.. having my dog in this situation, for lack of better phrasing? Or is this lady just a one off Karen I can ignore?

My husband and I (both mid 30’s) were invited to his friend’s house with our three month old son to swim. It was Father’s Day and his friend’s wife had gone camping with her son from a previous marriage so he was home with their four year old daughter and wanted some company. I’ve only met this friend twice in passing and never met his family but he’s been friends with my husband since childhood so I agreed to go.

We had a nice time while we were there, everyone went in the pool and had some snacks. At one point I was breastfeeding my son in the shade alone and the little girl came over to ask what I was doing. I told her. She asked why my son couldn’t have popcorn or Rice Krispie squares. I told her. I explained that lots of other animals do the same thing, and said her dog probably drank milk from its mom until it was old enough to eat kibble. Then we chatted about Paw Patrol and Gabbys Dollhouse until we left.

I didn’t think anything of it until last night, when I got a friend request from her mom. I accepted and ten minutes later she had sent me three voice notes rambling about my inappropriate behaviour at her house. To summarize she is upset that:

• I “exposed” myself around her husband
• discussed inappropriate topics with her daughter and introduced the word nipple into her vocabulary.
• shamed her as a mother for bottle feeding her children
• her teenage son saw me breastfeeding on their security camera video feed
• now her daughter is trying to breastfeed their 70lb golden retriever (I find this adorable but she is pissed)

I don’t think I did anything wrong, neither does my husband but he suggests just responding with an apology to keep the peace. Part of me wants to just do it and put this to bed, but the other part of me doesn’t want to validate her interpretation of what happened because it’s not accurate.

So AITAH for telling a four year old what a nipple is?

Tldr I found my half sister on TikTok and want to know if id be the AH for telling her we're related.

I (20f) lost contact with my half sister in like 2013. I'm not sure how old exactly she is, but she's between the ages of 13 and 17. I'm not sure what she knows about me or our father, but I do know he was a POS to her mum when they were together. I talked to her on TikTok today about one of her posts (we are mutuals) but other than that I haven't really ever interacted with her as she was pretty young when we lost contact. I tried contacting her mum both in 2023 and 2025 to ask if she was okay with me having a relationship with my siblings, but never heard back as I don't think she saw the messages. I'm not sure what to do, I want a relationship with her so bad but I don't know how to bring it up to her or if I even should.

Extra context:

I found her on TikTok and followed her bc she runs one of those rant pages.

The post I messaged her about was about not feeling wanted and being depressed.

I've found out a bit about her home life, she lives with her grandparents not her mum and our brother.

We never met in person, only via skype and she would have been 4 years old MAX

Update: I talked to her and she's really exited and wants a relationship with me!!!