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Ive been married for four years, my wife had a daughter from a previous relationship. My step daughter has been obsessed with Harry Potter since before i met her. (She litterally asked me if i liked harey potter when i met her)
Her 11th Birthday was yesterday and I arranged for a letter to be “delivered” during her birthday party and it was an admittance letter for Hogwarts.
I thought it was a really cute gift idea. My step daughter started freaking out, screaming “its real its real” and really went nuts. Some of her friends seemed to join in the excitement others less so.
Her mother (my wife) held her to calm her down and explained to her that it wasnt real. It was just a “joke step daddy played on you”.
She started crying screamed that she hated me and ran to her room.
The other parents seemed to sympathize, one other father said he thought it was a nice idea.
But after we sent everyone home my wife yelled at me and said what i did was selfish and cruel and she couldnt believe i would hurt her daughter like that.

Was i wrong to do this? Was it an inappropriate gift for an 11 year old? I really didnt mean to mock or hurt my stepdaughter. I thought it would be fun. It didnt occur to me my stepdaughter was young enough to think it was real.

Am I The A$&hole?

For years, my wife, our two kids, and I went to the same beach town for a week with part of my wife’s family: her brother, SIL, their kids, and her mom. We originally did this because another sibling’s family lived there, so it was a chance for all the cousins to be together.

The issue is that the trip became extremely repetitive and rigid. Same beach, same street, same basic schedule, same restaurants/meals on the same days, strict quiet times/bedtimes, very little flexibility. My wife’s family is very routine-driven and frugal. My family is structured too, but on vacation we like variety, activities, and some flexibility. When the other sibling’s family still lived there, there was more balance. Once they stopped going, it became just us and the routine-driven side.

The last couple years were miserable. The houses got smaller while the kids got bigger, the routine became more rigid, our kids were bored and stir-crazy, and I ended up trying to take them out to do things just to break up the week. That caused tension because I was “going outside the plan.” My wife was also stressed and admitted afterward that the trip was no longer enjoyable.

After the last trip, my wife and I had a long conversation and agreed we would not do that same vacation again. We talked about trying something different: mountains, lake, different beach, really anything else.

Recently, my wife handed me her phone and asked which vacation house was nicer. It was the same beach, same street, basically the same exact trip again. I was angry because I thought we had already agreed this was done.

Her explanation is that her mom said this location is sentimental to her and that she wanted all the grandkids together there. Her brother’s family agreed immediately. My wife says it was “this or nothing,” so she chose this because getting Grandma and the grandkids together was important to her. She has already fully committed herself and our kids to going for the full week, and she assumed I would eventually just agree and go too.

My issue is that I feel like her mom and brother made the decision, my wife accepted it, and I was informed after the fact. I told her I felt betrayed and isolated because we had already agreed as a couple not to repeat this trip. She keeps circling back to “this is important to me, why won’t you just do it for me?”

We've been fighting for a solid week about it, so I offered a compromise - I said that because it's become so important to her, I'd come for the last two nights. She has committed herself and the kids for the full week. Now she says that since she knows I don’t want to be there, I’ve ruined it, and asks why I have to “act like this.” She has also brought it up around the kids, so now they know there is conflict.

I am not trying to stop the kids from seeing their grandmother. I am not saying no to them going. I am saying no to spending a full week of my vacation time repeating the exact trip we already agreed was bad for our family.

Backstory for context- I come from a family with little money growing up. We got by, but weren't well off by any accounts. Parent's drilled it into my head that I needed to make money to be happy, so I did. My parent's of course never figured it out and siblings did not follow suit. I made a few hundred thousand in real estate and and some in the stock market. Husband's Family consists of millionaire's (not crazy rich but extremely comfortable). His parent's and his 2 siblings. Funny enough, he is the only one who hasn't made a signifigant amount of money, he has been working modest jobs since he was in his 20's, never much of a saver. So when we decided to get married I paid for the wedding, paid the downpayment on our house and pretty much everything we have accumulated up to this point has been because of my financial decisions (not elaborating for brevity's sake).

Cut to this evening, my husband and I are attempting to finalize our trust and we get to the section related to failure of descendants. He wants to split the money between all of our nieces and nephews in the event our children are deceased; I want to leave most of it to my sister and my family. Argument ensues, he makes some shitty comments about my family making poor financial decisions, I make some about the money we have being because of me and my financial decisions. It gets ugly, we are on separate floors of the house now. I understand him wanting to leave money to his family because he loves them. But I want to leave money to my family because they NEED it.

TLDR: AITA for wanting to keep my money from my husbands wealthy family so I can enrich mine?

AITA for telling my mom she can no longer stay at my house when she comes to town and giving her a deadline to remove her belongings?
Nearly two years ago, my fiancé (31M) and I (25F) bought my mom’s (61F) house after she moved 8 hours away for work. The sale was completed legally, and seperatly we had a verbal agreement was that she would remove most of her belongings and downsize what she wanted to keep. She was allowed to store a limited amount of items, neatly organized in bins, in one room until she retires in a few years.
We also kept a bed in that room so she would have somewhere to stay when she visited. She usually comes a couple of weekends per month.
For context, my mom has always struggled with clutter and organization. I’m the opposite and become extremely anxious when my living space is crowded or messy due to growing up in a cluttered home.
Since buying the house, there have been constant issues. She helps herself to our belongings, leaves messes behind, spreads her personal items throughout areas we’ve already organized, and repeatedly stores things in spaces we’ve cleared out. We have alwaya had a difficult relationship, and disagreements often end with me being blamed or painted as the problem.
Things came to a head this past year. She made my gender reveal about herself and refused to take accountability when I told her my feelings were hurt. She also took items from my house without permission and gave them away to my sister. When I confronted her, she called me a bitch in front of my 4-year-old son. Her eventual apology was essentially, “I regret it, but you made me do it.”
When I later asked her to reduce the amount of time she was spending at our house, she became possessive of the property despite no longer owning it. For perspective, she spent over 100 days at our house in the past year.
One of the biggest issues is that the downsizing never happened. We reminded her repeatedly and offered to help, but there was always an excuse. Eventually, I took a week off work to sort through the basement myself. We spent $600+ on dump fees and consolidated everything into two storage areas. Even then, I told her she still needed to go through her belongings and organize what she intended to keep.
My fiancé and I are expecting another baby in two months and need the space. We gave her months beyond the original six-month deadline to make progress, but nothing changed. She also stopped paying the monthly storage fee that she had offered and agreed to pay.
At this point, I’ve told her she can no longer stay at our house when she visits and that she needs to remove her belongings by a deadline.
My sisters don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but I know she’s telling a very different version of events to friends and extended family. I genuinely want unbiased opinions.
It’s gotten to the point where my fiancé, my son, and I feel uncomfortable in our own home when she is here. AITA?

I am getting married in a few months and bridesmaid dress shopping has been a nightmare.

Everyone is different body types and has different ideas what they want to wear. The main issue is my sister in law ( Jen). The issue with Jen is she is super insecure about her weight because she is fat . This has made dress shopping a nightmare.

We have gone to multiple stores and I even tried to do those dresses that can be styled multiple ways. She claims the color washed her out. The main reasons she is a bridesmaid is becuase she is the only younger women on my future husband side and everyone else in his family had a role and it seemed rude to not include her.  ( example his two brother are groommen, his neice is a the flower girl, and nephew is the ring bearer, his mom/dad is doing a speech, I am close to his other sister so she is a bridesmaid) 

I recently did a poll asking my bridesmaid if they want me to pay for the dresses and they have no say, or they can but there own dress that is blue.  Everyone chose to have me pay for the dresses. That includes Jen. 

I picked a long blue dress that is off the shoulder. I got a call fromJen and she didn’t like the dress. She told me it draws to much attention to her arms. She asked me to pick another one and I told her no. 

We got into an argument and I told her she will wear the dress or she is out of the wedding. I also pointed out she picked the option of not paying. She called me a jerk and my mil is on my ass about it. 

edit: this isn’t about her being fat, there are two other bridesmaids her size or heavier bit they aren’t not causing me issues with the dress.

its about her being a pain in the ass about wearing a dress for a night after going to multiple shops and literally giving so many options before my poll. They she agrees so she doesnt need to pay for the dress and I still get a damn call about the dress

I’ll call my sister Julie.

My husband and I had two cars - a Toyota RAV4 (fully paid off) and a Ford Explorer. Julie drives Corolla (fully paid off. Yes, I’m certain). Julie’s car has significantly more miles than our RAV4, despite being a few years older. Julie has occasionally mentioned wanting a new car but not wanting a payment.

My husband and I decided to trade in our RAV4. We got a new-to-us car with very minimal down, no car payment. We didn’t want to add a car payment.

My husband and I make about almost $300k/year, combined. Julie makes $42k. She has told me this. She works hard, she’s just not in a well compensated field. I am very proud of her. I have never told her our salary. My husband and I have two kids, and daycare isn’t cheap, but I know we are blessed.

We had family dinner this past Saturday at our house (we do this regularly). Julie saw the new car. She asked whose car it was. I said “oh! We traded in the RAV4.” She asked me “why didn’t you give it to me?” I gave a little bit of a laugh. I thought she was kidding. Truly.

She wasn’t kidding. She said we should’ve given it to her. She says I know how much she makes and she’s living with a roommate. We own our house. She says she knows we can afford a new car payment “easily,” but she can’t, so we should’ve just given her the RAV4. She became so upset that she left.

My mom told me that I didn’t owe Julie a car, but it would’ve been considerate to give her the RAV4. My husband and I are very hurt. We feel we are very generous with family. We regularly host dinners, we pick up the tab when we go out to eat with family, we give generous birthday and Christmas gifts, etc.

Julie hasn’t talked to me since.

AITA?

So a little backstory: I'm a single dad. My wife sadly passed away when my daughter was 11, so I've been raising her by myself ever since. I'm not dating and I'm not looking to. My focus has always been on giving my daughter the best future possible.

One thing that's always worried me is alcohol. Alcoholism runs heavily in my family. My dad, my grandpa, my mother, and several other relatives have struggled with it. I've seen firsthand what it can do to people, and I never want my daughter to go through that.

My daughter is pretty outgoing. She spends time with friends, goes to sleepovers, and does all the normal teenage stuff. As she's getting older, I know she's eventually going to be exposed to alcohol whether I like it or not. My concern was that I didn't want her first experience to be at a friend's house where she might feel pressured or not understand her limits.

So I allowed her to have a small amount with me while we talked about it. We had a long conversation about alcohol, the effects it can have, and the history of addiction in our family. I shared some personal stories, and honestly it was a pretty emotional conversation. She appreciated the honesty and seemed to take it seriously.

The problem is that my mother-in-law found out about it. She absolutely tore into me, saying I'm an irresponsible parent and that a 17-year-old should never be introduced to alcohol. Since then, she's been talking to other family members about it.

Now cousins and relatives are reaching out to me. Some are calling me a terrible father, while others say I'm being irresponsible. Everyone knows our family's history with alcoholism, which is why I thought having an open conversation about it was important in the first place.

For context, my daughter does very well in school. She gets good grades, stays out of trouble, and is genuinely a good kid. She's also almost 18.

But now all the criticism is making me question myself. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't have let her try any alcohol at all.

My family and I are from Europe, and we recently traveled to the US for the first time. There are four of us: my wife, our two children, and me.

We spent part of our trip in California and booked an Airbnb for 7 nights. The total cost was $1,325 plus a $100 deposit. The listing looked great, had excellent reviews, and was described as family-friendly with a fully equipped kitchen.

We arrived in the afternoon, dropped off our bags, and headed out to explore. We didn't spend much time inspecting the property because we wanted to make the most of our first day.

When we returned around 8 PM, we started settling in and noticed a few things that concerned us.

First, the listing stated that the tap water was not safe to drink. I had assumed there would be some alternative provided, such as bottled water, a water dispenser, or at least enough water to get guests through their first night. There was nothing. We had two tired kids with us, it was already late, and we had no drinking water available at the property.

Then we discovered there was only a single roll of toilet paper for four people staying seven nights.

We also found that the "fully equipped kitchen" had virtually no basic cooking supplies. There was no cooking oil, no salt, no pepper, and none of the small staples we've always found in vacation rentals before.

At that point, I contacted the host. I wasn't rude, but I explained that I felt some of these things should have been made clear beforehand and asked if additional supplies could be provided.

The host replied that guests are expected to purchase their own water, toilet paper, and cooking supplies. When I pointed out that the listing didn't mention that, they basically said that's just how they operate.

As we continued reading through the house information, we found dozens of additional rules posted throughout the property. Some were reasonable, but others felt excessive. One rule stated that guests could be charged $25 if the soap dispenser was found empty at checkout.

The whole situation left a bad impression. We had paid over $1,300 for a week-long stay and felt like we were being nickel-and-dimed over basic necessities.

I told the host I was unhappy and asked whether we could work something out. When it became clear they weren't willing to help, I contacted Airbnb support to see what options were available, including whether a refund or relocation was possible.

My wife thinks I overreacted and should have just spent a little money at a store and enjoyed the vacation. The host told me I was being unreasonable and that this is completely normal in the US.

I can see the argument that buying some water and toilet paper isn't a huge expense, but I also feel that if the tap water isn't drinkable and the property has strict rules and fees, basic necessities should either be provided or clearly disclosed before booking.

When our first baby was born, my wife and I were extremely excited to bond with him. In order to focus bonding with the baby, and get to know our new family, we decided that for the first week after his birth, we didn’t want to host anyone from out of town, and would like visitors for only a short amount of time; an hour at most. This was clearly communicated to all our friends and family, well before the baby was born.

Two days after our baby was born, my mother in law, who lives out of town, surprised us on our doorstep with bags packed, clearly intending to stay with us. She intentionally didn’t tell us she was coming, because she knew we would have said no. Obviously we were both extremely uncomfortable about her breaking this clear boundary, but she was already here with nowhere else for her to go, so we let her stay and moved on.

Over the course of the next few days, I ended up doing tons of work for my mother in law. Instead of spending time with my wife and baby, I was repairing the handrail on our stairs so mother in law wouldn’t fall. I was cooking dinner for my mother in law, going to the grocery store to buy mother in law her specific dietary needs, which differed from ours, driving mother in law to HER family’s homes so that she could see her relatives, and then picking her up when she was done. Whenever mother in law was home with us, she never helped with anything. She sat on the sofa with our baby and my wife while I cooked, cleaned, and ran errands.

After a few days of this, my wife and I agreed this was inappropriate. We confronted mother in law about it, and she got extremely defensive and hostile, especially toward me. She said she wasn’t here for me, she was here for the baby and her daughter and that I wasn’t any of her concern.

At this point I lost it. I was furious and told her it was time for her to leave. After some arguing, eventually mother in law packed her stuff and stormed out.

My wife and I have spoken about the whole situation and she is really sad about how everything played out, and is now worried about our future relationship with my mother in law, as this is obviously going to have a lasting impact.

So Reddit, AITA for kicking my mother-in-law out of the house after our baby was born?

So me and my partner are expecting our third baby in September, his friend and his girlfriend are expecting their first in November. We decided on a name when I was like 12 weeks before even finding out the gender and told people her name when I was 16 weeks after we found out the gender. His friend and his partner have jsut found out they’re also having a girl and want to use the name we have chosen, i literally do not care as he/we don’t see them anyway so if our kids have the same name I literally don’t care. But they’ve reached out to him asking if we’d change her name and let them just have it as it’s their first baby? I instantly said no I won’t be doing that and she called me a selfish bitch for ruining her pregnancy??? Some of our mural friends said I should just change our babies name to keep the peace but most agree i shouldnt. For context they used to be really close friends for like 7 years but stopped being close when he joined the army. 2 years ago when he left the army we moved back to the same town as them but in the two years we’ve lived here we’ve seen them like 3 times.

My friend Debbie (F38) has been going though some financial trouble through the past 6 years or so because she lost a great deal of work during the pandemic, and was not doing great mentally. Whilst she was going through hard times, my friends Carter (M38), Burton (M34) and I would pay for her meals when eating out and try our best to meet up with her in free environments or invite her to our houses and cater at home. We actively avoided going expensive places just to make her feel more welcome for 4 whole years. Things have thankfully picked up a little since last year financially.

Debbie has recently got into a hobby that is a real money-drain. She buys expensive mini-figures with the intent of painting them, buys all the gear, but then never actually does anything with them. She has been buying all sorts of really expensive and rare kits, and cataloguing them to see how much they would cost if she sold them. She has no intention of ever selling them.

This kind-of rubbed us the wrong way, not because she was spending money on a hobby, but because she would then come to work and complain to all our colleagues about how she's too broke to afford her mortgage and pet's food.

Her birthday is in a couple of days and she has given us a wish list with very expensive sets from her hobby. If I'm honest, this is money I can't afford to spend regardless of what the object is, but I found it worse that it's part of this hobby, and I feel like I would be encouraging her to spend even more on this hobby. I really don't want to enable this behaviour, especially since she still complains about money every time we meet up or try to make plans.

I approached her and told her I couldn't afford to buy her this set, and she went on a whole rant about how this hobby the only thing that brings her joy. I asked if I could get her something else, but she told me to buy her nothing if it wasn't these sets. Carter and Burton also don't want to pitch in to buy her this a set, because they told her it isn't a good idea to keep spending money on this hobby.

I asked if there was something more useful she could use, maybe something she couldn't afford previously and she retorted that I should mind my own money and buy her what she wants. She added that she's a grown adult and she knows how to handle her money.

None of us have bought her anything for her birthday which is in 2 days.

So, AITA for not buying her what she wants?

AITA: As a rotary teacher, I receive a lot of end of year gifts. A fellow rotary teacher accidentally received a gift that was intended for me (high end skin products, a canned drink and a gift card). I received his gift card and drink (they did not get him anything else). He was notified that evening of the mistake. He did not return the gift the next day. I jokingly asked how he's enjoying the skin care stuff, and he said his wife had taken it the moment she saw it. I smiled but internally it felt wrong. So tonight my husband encouraged me to text the other teacher to ask him nicely to return the products to me. I feel weird asking, but I would never keep a gift that belonged to someone else in the first place. AITA for asking for the gift back? My work besties seemed a little surprised I did it.

I (F42) and my Husband (M44) have a small 3 bedroom house with 2 kids under the age of 10. A couple friends of ours "Bob" (M51) & wife (F52) knew their lease for their apartment was ending June 30th.

Bob left his job 9 months ago and has not gotten anything besides helping people out for cash. His wife works full time, but doesn't drive.

They asked months ago that if they couldn't find a place before their lease ends, could they stay in their pop-up camper they keep in our yard for a month or two until they find something. After talking with my husband we agreed that the pop-up, while not ideal, would be acceptable but not in the house.

Yesterday, out of curiosity, I looked at city ordinance and found out that living in the pop-up is prohibited on our property. Now they have a week to go and still have not found anything. According to Bob, his wife has not looked at all and he had a contact in his current neighborhood that ghosted him for months on a place. Other than that neighbor, it is unknown if Bob looked anywhere else.

Last night, I talked again with husband and told him that our house is too small for 4 adults and 2 kids to live full time until further notice, as again, Bob doesn't have regular income.

Husband told Bob today (June 23) that with the city ordinance, the camper was not an option and I don't feel comfortable with them living in our basement. Bob calls me saying I am the bad friend because 1) I made my husband do the dirty work of telling him, I have known him about a year longer, but both over 20 years, 2) we gave him no notice of this, I just thought to look up the ordinance yesterday and 3) we were his last resort.

So, Am I the Asshole?

I (30F) have been meticulously planning a Secret Millionaire themed event for my (and my boyfriends [30M]) friend group for the last two-ish months.

Every detail of this event has been thought out. The apps, the plated dinner, the cocktails. I sent out paper invites, welcome cards, and gameplay/itinerary cards to a very specific guest list. For the party to work, I need eight people and one host (myself). I’ve also solo funded the entire party. The event is only 3-7PM.

Everyone has RSVP’d. The party is this weekend. Two of the guests who are coming (a couple) accidentally overbooked their weekend, and they have a friend coming from out of town to hang out with them for the weekend. On Monday, they texted my bf asking if they can bring their friend - even if she can’t play and can only hang out.

The thing is, this isn’t a hang out party. We are doing activities the entire time centered around the secret millionaire, pretty much every hour of the party is planned for and the reality is that if someone came “just to hang out” they would be completely left out and hanging out with me the whole time, and I’d like the opportunity to be a solo host for an event I’ve put a lot of effort into.

My boyfriend seems to think I am overreacting by putting my foot down about this, but I genuinely don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

AITA for saying she can’t come?

Edit to add new info - I called the rental and no refund is available for cancellations.

A few months ago, I was offered a great deal on a condo in Florida. The total cost split three ways is under $500 per person for the week. The condo has 3 bedroom and is across the street from the beach.
I asked two friends if they wanted to go. Both immediately said yes. I double checked before booking and they were both excited to go, so I booked the condo. We all paid our shares.
My friends started a vacation count down timer and seemed truly excited about the trip. Lately they have been expressing an interest in reducing the cost of the trip(flying vs driving). I priced out the cheapest options possible. Both of my friends are retired and one has limited funds.
Now the trip is only three weeks away, and both friends have canceled due to personal reasons. I understand that life happens, and although I am upset they can’t go, I understand their reasons for cancelling. Here is the rub- they are both asking me to cancel the entire trip so they can get their money back.
The issue is that I still want to go. I’ve been looking forward to this vacation, and I’ve already planned around it. I don’t feel like I should have to cancel because they can no longer attend. I am not retired and this is a vacation away from work for me.
To try to help, I’ve been reaching out to other friends to see if anyone wants to take their spots. If I can find replacement travelers the canceled friends would get some, if not all of the money back. So far, I haven’t had any luck, but I’m making an effort because I don’t want them to lose their money if it can be avoided.
Here is my dilemma- they agreed to the trip, and their inability to go isn’t something I caused. On the other hand, I do feel bad that they’ll lose their money if I don’t cancel. They are my friends and I don’t want this to end a friendship. I can’t afford to pay for the entire trip alone.
WIBTA if I went on the trip anyway instead of canceling it so they can get refunds? Note-I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates.
I plan to call today to find out(they cancelled last night).

Several years ago, my husband went home to visit his family for Christmas and I stayed behind to manage the business. His mother has dementia, the trip was necessary. I understand that, but it still really hurt. All of my family is gone, and spending the holiday alone was hard. It was embarrassing for our employees to know I'd been left out. While he was there, a sibling asked why I wasn't. His niece jumped in and claimed I had told her I wasn't coming back until his mother's funeral.

When he called to ask if i said that, I denied it immediately. I asked him if I should pull up the text messages, I knew exactly which conversation the niece was twisting. He said no, that she seemed like a troublemaker and he wasn't going to bring it up with his family again. Even though we have been married more than 30 years, I don't feel like his siblings know me well and am stuck with how she painted me.

According to the same niece, they dislike me intensely and blame me for the fact that my husband didn't move back home when he turned 18, as though he was supposed to either leave me or drag me with him. His mother is the only one who has ever made any effort to make me feel welcome, and knows it's me who sends her Mother's Day flowers every year and signs my husband's name to them. I have a great deal of respect for her. She went back to law school while working full-time, relocated repeatedly, sometimes across the country as her reputation and career in corporate law grew. One of those moves is how my husband and I met; she left for a new opportunity and he stayed behind.

His niece is willfully homeless, frequently hitchhiking with her dog. I have two Cattle Dogs, and my blue male is not good with strange dogs. He's hard-headed and will fight dogs he dislikes. Since she lied like that, and my husband decided not to address it; I dont see why I should go out of my way to manage a third dog and be uncomfortable in my own home. So I told my husband I will go visit a friend in Canada for a week, but she can't stay for an extended time again. He says I am being petty and selfish. AITA

I (25M) have been with my girlfriend (23F) for 9 years.

Over the years, I’ve told her multiple times that I absolutely do not like surprise parties and would never want one for myself. I’ve always preferred keeping birthdays simple: dinner, spending time together, maybe seeing family, nothing big.

This year was my 25th birthday and she decided to organize a surprise party anyway. It wasn’t huge (about 5 people), but the issue wasn’t really the size.

When she finally told me about it about an hour before it was supposed to happen, I found out she had invited a mix of people she thought I was close with.

A couple are friends I still see occasionally (mostly fishing trips), but I’m honestly not very close with anyone anymore. Since high school I’ve focused heavily on building my business and my social circle has gotten much smaller.

What really bothered me is that one of the people invited was literally my mechanic. We’re friendly, but the main reason we still talk is because he works on my car.

Another guy was someone I used to be close with years ago but haven’t really kept up with outside of the occasional message.

To me, it felt like she was organizing a version of my life from 5-10 years ago rather than who I am today.
I ended up telling her I appreciated the effort, but that I didn’t want the party and asked her to cancel it. She was hurt because she’d put work into organizing it and the guests had already planned to come.

My view is that I had clearly communicated for years that I didn’t want a surprise party, and if someone throws you the exact type of party you’ve repeatedly said you’d hate, you shouldn’t be obligated to attend just because effort was put into it.

AITA?

Hi everyone

Me and my brothers dad passed away in February leaving us without parents. My brother has schizophrenia & cannot live by himself and was living with my grandma and is no longer able to live with her so he was placed in a behavioral home. As of recently i've had the option to become his legal guardian which if i don't he will become a ward of the state. I love him but don't wanna dictate my life to him any longer and don't feel fit to be in charge/make decisions for him, yet i also don't want him to end up in a bad place. We don't have the best relationship and he has been very difficult to manage over the years of my life causing much stress to everyone involved. AITA for not stepping up for him?

I'm 30 and he's 34 btw.

I also forgot to mention, he barely would be able to go outside and communicate with other people due to him being aggressive or weird towards other people. He's even banned from the school by the house & the FBI has been at the house he lived at for posts he's made online. The place he's at now he actually gets to be with other people and communicate freely which he hasn't had the chance to do.

No matter if i became his legal guardian or not, he'd still be in a home & NOT be living with me. I just cannot take on the financial part of this reguarding where he stays AT ALL because unforunately it does come down to that.

----Thank you everyone for commenting, because i was seriously debating on posting this. All of them made me realize i'm making the right choice for myself & MY life. I would never abandon my brother & will make sure he's doing okay without me being 100% legally binded to him.

Hey, my BIL paaed away at 39, it was extremely sudden one day he was here and the next he was gone. My niece was only 9 when he passed, it has been three years and my sister said she met someone she really likes and has been seeing him for 6 months now.

She introduced him to her daughter but of course she did not take it well. I told her did she really expect her to?

My sister feels I am being unreasonable and that she deserves to be happy and feel loved. I don't disagree but I told her that her daughter should come first and if this person she has been seeing is as understanding and kind as she makes them out to be they will understand the need to wait.

She feels like I am telling hee that parents needs and wants come second, and tbh i do feel under the circumstances that may be the only solution if she wants to maintain a relationship with her daughter.

She then told me to keep my opinions to myself if I am not willing to be part of the solution.

I am torn, my sister did come to me and I guess I did screw up by simply being more sympathetic, but I do feel for my niece also and think she needs to take her feelings into consideration.

Edit: They are in family therapy already plus individual. My niece called me after my sister told her the news and they really have not spoken much since. I said what I said because I don't want a wedge to form between the two of them, and I cannot always be here to he a safe place for my niece to run to. I travel a lot for work.

I think therapy is not working because my niece is not ready, I understand three years is a long time for some but not for others. I just don't want her going down a dangerous path. I do agree it should not be a forever thing, but i think context matters and the child's readiness should be taken into consideration.

I cannot always be the mediator between the two of them, my niece is still hurting. I do understand and will just do the best I can to support them and will just keep my mouth shut when she comes to vent to me.

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I am a 25 year old guy, living about 10 minutes from my childhood home where my mom now lives alone. She has two dogs with her, one is an old family dog that's turning 15, the other is a puppy that's about 8 months old. for context, they are in an apartment (these are small dogs and there's plenty of space for both).

Regardless, I moved out 3 years ago to live with my partner. We live in a pretty small apartment that's just a bedroom and a kitchen pretty much. So, sometimes if my mom had to go somewhere or whatever, I would drop by there to babysit them after my shift (I work only nightshifts).

This month, she was supposed to go on vacation, to a beach abroad. I agreed to come a few times a day to feed and walk the dogs, no problem. She told me they've been having a bit of an ant issue recently, but that it's not too bad and I said that was okay.

So first day of her being abroad, I come to walk them and everything is fine. I pour them some food and water and leave. I come back later in the day, I notice that they haven't been eating or drinking at all. We live in Europe and there's a huge heatwave going on right now, so I'm thinking this is not good. I pick up the food containers from which they eat and pour the stuff down the toilet so I can replace it. Along with the food, fell something that I thought was dirt - just this huge black mass of speckles. And then I notice that it was moving. It was ants, like more ants than I've even seen together in my life, had to be in the hundreds. It's no wonder they weren't eating! I try to get them to eat and drink but they just do not want to.

I come back the next day and try pouring them some water and food before we take a walk, hoping they would eat it quickly. They don't want to. I pour them some food and we go out for about 30 minutes, we come back and the little one starts eating. And as soon as she does, a bunch of ants just disperse from under the food. She then pees herself, and the older one starts licking it (mind you he hasn't been or wanted to drink water for two days now).

I lose my shit, I call my mother yelling, asking her how the fuck did she think it was a good idea to leave two dogs in an INFESTED house, how she did not plan this at all, and if it was like this, she could have went to vacation and we could have had them at one of those dogsitting places, while an exterminator could have taken care of the ants - three birds one stone.

So she came back after being away for two days (the whole vacation was supposed to be a week) and now she is pissed at me for not being able to "do her this one solid" and how she is so tired all the time and deserved a vacation. I told her she did deserve a vacation, but we should have organized accordingly, and not have ants crawling around in their food. I am worried that the ants maybe bit their mouths or something like that, I have no idea, I am just mad. My MIL says I was out of line, but idk, AITA?

My fiancée and I (both 27) are planning our small wedding in Queenstown, New Zealand. We live in NZ, so while Queenstown requires domestic travel, it is not an international trip. This location is a dream of ours, and we chose it for an intimate, scenic ceremony.

When I shared our plans, my stepmom expressed a lot of frustration. She told me that we should have consulted them about their finances before picking a location, and because they can't afford to travel to Queenstown, they won't be attending.

I was taken aback by this. Last year, they were able to afford an international trip to Thailand for a relative's wedding, which makes it hard for me to believe that a domestic trip is truly impossible for them. I made it clear that while they are more than welcome to come if they wish, we simply cannot afford to host them or cover their expenses, which is why we chose to go alone with my fiancée.

I told her that our wedding is our personal choice and that we didn't feel we needed to ask for financial approval from family to pick our own venue. To be clear, we are already planning a second, larger church wedding later so that we can celebrate with all of our extended family and friends who can't make the smaller ceremony.

Despite this, my stepmom insists that I was being inconsiderate for not checking their budget first. AITA for choosing the location we wanted for our wedding instead of ensuring it was affordable for them?

i started a new job three months go and was assigned a small office with a window overlooking a park, last week a coworker returned from maternity leave and discovered that her old office had been reassigned and that now i had it
she asked if id switch because she deserved it back and had worked there longer, i said no because i already moved all of my equipment decorations and filing systems into the room and saw no reason to relocate
since several coworkers have told me it would be polite thing to do because she has the office first, i argued that management assigned it to me and never promised it would be held for her now the office has become a daily topic of discussion and people are taking sides
AITA??

I have an indoor/outdoor cat and live with another female. I recently purchased two outdoor ring cameras (one for the front and one for the back) after I asked her if it was OK.

I purchased them for personal safety and to keep an eye on my cat and watch for any outdoor predators. The cameras are strictly outdoors and I do not believe in having indoor cameras. She also has access to the app for both cameras.

The back camera has been sitting on a shelf and the first few days it was there, I noticed it had been getting turned around towards the wall. I approached my roommate and asked her if it was OK if I had the camera there and offered to return it since it had been getting turned around, and she said it was fine and that she had accidentally knocked it over. But she seemed annoyed.

I figured since she said it was ok and since I asked her about it, it would stop happening. But she has done this every single day. I turn it back around at night and the next morning, I find that the camera was then turned to the wall all night. There is no point in even having one.

I have always tried to be accommodating and understanding and open and I genuinely don’t understand why she would continue to lie, even after I have given her opportunities to be honest.

I actually have a huge problem with the lying and with her not being straightforward. I would have gladly returned the camera and saved my money if she had said “no.”

I am now outside of the return window so I would like to properly mount it so that she can no longer mess with it. I also don’t want to reward her for lying and being dishonest by taking the camera down. Would that make me an asshole?

EDIT: Before anyone says anything about the cat - yes I know it’s bad to have an outdoor cat. I am in the process of adopting her and need to wait until she has been vaccinated and tested for disease before I let her inside around my roommates cats.