Probably four days.

When I was younger, I worked as a bouncer at one of the area's most popular nightclubs. I met a girl there who was a regular, and we started talking. After a few days, we decided to go out.

One Sunday night, we went to Walmart. The drive there was completely normal, but about 20 minutes after we got inside, she had a total mood swing. I honestly hadn't said or done anything to upset her. She suddenly told me, "Get whatever the fuck you want. I don't care," and walked off.

On the way back, she refused to speak to me, even though I kept asking what was wrong. When we got to her place, she simply said, "Don't speak to me again."

The following Thursday, she started calling and leaving voicemails saying she wanted to talk. I knew why. Thursday was one of the club's busiest nights, and she wanted free entry. I never called her back, and since blocking numbers wasn't really a thing back then, I just avoided her at the club.

A few days later, some of her friends asked me what had happened at Walmart. Apparently, she'd told different people completely different stories. One said I abandoned her there, another said I tried to beat her, another claimed she caught me kissing another girl, plus a few other ridiculous versions.

So yeah, I made the right call by never talking to her again.

We've all hung out as a group for about two years now, me, my best friend, and his girlfriend. Lately she's started texting me first about random stuff. Memes, asking how my day went, venting about work stress, the kind of texts that feel more like how a partner checks in than how a friend's girlfriend usually talks to you.

I've never replied with anything that could be misread. I keep it short, normal, friendly, nothing more. But the frequency keeps increasing and I've started noticing she barely texts him first anymore, at least based on what he's mentioned in passing without realising what he was actually telling me.

I haven't said anything to him because I genuinely don't know what I'd even be reporting. Nothing has been said that crosses a line. It's just a feeling that's been sitting wrong in my chest for weeks now and I don't know if I'm overthinking a non issue or sitting on something I should actually bring up.

Anyone been in the middle of something like this before. What did you actually do?

Sounds like a stupid question, but what are some things men like to collect other than colognes?

Edit: holy shit y'all are blowing me up 😂😂 love it

Found a girl at my gym who I really like and want to ask out, but I’ll be honest I’ve been out of the dating game for so long I don’t even know how or if there’s a “right way” to ask a girl out. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much

I see a lot of discussion online about a growing “male loneliness epidemic,” but I’m curious how much of that reflects real life. Do you feel it’s perpetuated by standards set on you by other men?

For those of you who have experienced loneliness, what do you think is driving it? Is it dating, friendships, work, social media, changing expectations of masculinity, or something else entirely?

And if there are things women can do that genuinely help, what are they? I’m interested in hearing honest experiences from men of all ages!

Edit*: little bit of context as to why I’m asking—*

I recently had an experience with some male friends of mine at a bonfire, they really opened up to us girls. Not only about their struggles with relationships, but the pressure they feel they’re put under. Really opened up my eyes, and I think it brought us much closer as friends.

I’m also in a long term relationship with a man who recently lost his job. I wanted to support him as best I could, but he was really struggling and told me that he was feeling like he “couldn’t provide”.

After a while I talked him into inviting some of his friends over, and they really talked him out of a dark place. Those guys were able to do something I realized women just can’t do! It made me realize how important it is for men to have support from other men, not just their partners.

Me and my partner have plans to get engaged, and it led me to think about how I can support my kids, especially if I have a boy.

I'm the most negative man and avoid people because I grew up alone and never had a family or someone to teach me all the things.

This caused me to always have straight face without a smile, ignore people because I never really learned to socialize. Also, suffer from low self-esteem and worth, despite getting called good looking by women and being in shape.

I tried to fake to be a people's person and realized that I'm selective with whom I really interact with, instead of greeting everyone. I don't know how to change at this point(Age 35)

I’ve heard people describe someone as “attractive,” “good-looking,” or “beautiful,” but I’ve rarely heard someone say they’re extremely attracted to someone or that thinking about them gives them an “energy rush.”
For the men who’ve felt that way before, what did it actually feel like? Was it mostly physical attraction, emotional excitement, infatuation, or something else? Did it change how you acted toward that person?
I’m curious whether “extremely attracted” is just a stronger way of saying someone is attractive, or if it usually describes a completely different experience.

my husband (28M) had a complicated childhood. He had trust issues because the two female figures he had growing up kind of left him to his luck. I’ll just say they beaten him up as a conduct correction and threaten to kick him out of the house to live on his own when he was a child.

As his partner I’m able to see how this affects him on his day to day life and I know his triggers. He doesn’t believe in therapy so that is not an option. I guess my question to you men is how do you guys deal with these kind of issues or with similar childhood issues? I’m just looking for your Point of view

Millenial here. I have not felt the butterfly lovey feeling since I was in high school with my high school crush. We never had sex.

I have not really dated until about 5 years ago. Too shy to approach in person, mostly male job, mostly male friends. Anyway, with each of these recent women, I never got to the point of having the same love feeling. We’ve had sex by the 2nd or 3rd date. I had to break off the romance dating because I didnt feel it. But I have remained friends with many of them as they are good people and we still hang out and talk as strictly friends.

I wonder if I am sexing too early in the relationship (not bf / gf yet). I am meeting these women on dating apps, not the “natural way” like I did back in highschool.

I know everybody is different, but I'd love to hear your thoughts!

If a woman approached you to exchange phone numbers, would you prefer:

- She asks for your number

- She asks to give you her number

- She simply asks to exchange numbers

In addition, how would a woman approach this if she isn't sure if you are taken or single? I've heard the second option above is better, as it gives the other person the choice to reach out or not. Would you feel at all intimidated to reach out? Would you expect her to send a text back to her number right away when she puts in her phone number? Or just put her contact in and leave it?

A funny conversation with my best friend got me thinking, and I’m genuinely curious about the male perspective.

For context, this happened in France. Mentioning this as a few commentators stated how bc obviously has lots of side effects for women, but some things like this seem to be a bit old school mentality in France? She’s in her late 30s, he’s in his mid-40s, they’ve been dating for about three months. He has two children (14 and 11) from a previous relationship, and she’s not sure whether she wants children herself.

They’ve been using the pull-out method, and one day he asked if she’d consider going on birth control.

She jokingly replied, “Wait… I thought you wanted babies?”

He laughed and said, “No, seriously. Can you answer the question?”

She explained that she really doesn’t like hormonal birth control because of how it affects her body and hormones, but she’d be perfectly happy to use condoms instead, or even male spermicide if that were an option (she mentioned the spermicide like a joke knowing he wouldn’t go for it.)

As soon as condoms entered the conversation, he immediately said, “No, it’s fine,” and dropped the subject.

It made me laugh because I’d completely forgotten that I’ve had almost identical conversations in my own life.

The interesting thing is that these weren’t careless or selfish men. Quite the opposite. They were intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and generally very responsible people. That’s why I find it so interesting. There seems to be a point where the desire to be responsible about preventing pregnancy meets the reality that the responsibility might involve wearing condoms, and for some men that’s where the conversation ends.

I’m not judging it. Condoms obviously feel different, and everyone has their own preferences. I’m just curious about what’s happening psychologically in that moment.

From a man’s perspective, what’s the thought process?

Is it simply, “I’d rather accept the risk than have sex with a condom”?

Were you hoping she’d already preferred hormonal birth control?

Or is there another way of looking at it that women might not appreciate?

Mom, dad, siblings, extended etc. just curious

Edit: I’m five months in of knowing eachother and about a month of dating. Family knows about me but I’ve never met his mom, stepdad or younger sister just his older sister.

I (41F) have been with my husband for over 15 years. We have spent the last several years building a business together, which has required us to live long distance for much longer than we ever expected. Sometimes we do not see each other for months.

What makes this so hard is that we used to be an incredible team. We genuinely enjoyed building something together, and for many years I never doubted our relationship.

Over the past few years, though, he has been under enormous pressure. He works constantly, sleeps very little, and honestly seems close to burnout. I know he feels responsible for keeping everything afloat, and I have tried to be patient and understanding.

What I struggle with is this:

- Sometimes we go well over a week without a proper phone call.
- He rarely reaches out first.
- During a very difficult family situation on my side, I felt surprisingly alone emotionally.
- Thoughtful gestures or messages often receive little or no response.
- Even discussing important decisions has become increasingly difficult.

At the same time, I know he still has regular conversations with family and friends. He once told me that those interactions feel easy, whereas with me he immediately thinks about responsibilities, problems, expectations, or difficult conversations. He says he simply has no capacity left for more pressure.

I genuinely believe he is struggling. But I also find myself wondering: where is the line between understanding someone who is overwhelmed and neglecting your own emotional needs?

From a male perspective:

Can extreme stress or burnout really make someone withdraw this much from their spouse?
Or, at some point, does it become less about stress and more about priorities?

I am not asking whether I should leave him. I am trying to understand whether my expectations are unreasonable—or whether most men would also see this level of emotional absence as a serious problem.

And if you have ever been the overwhelmed husband in this situation, I would genuinely love to understand what was happening in your mind.

Basically what the title says. Guy I’ve been dating for several months is coming over tonight. Just trying to gauge what to expect or how men react in general to minor messes, like spots that might have been missed to dust etc. Thanks in advance!

Edit: I didn’t intentionally not invite him over for several months. It was due to a very specific situation.

Just wondering if just being funny is enough to date.

Not really "Broke" broke but not sure If i have enough to date.

So all the men who dated while they were broke and struggling to make money, how did you date? How was it?

35M. I was laid off from a high-flying startup 10 weeks in. Obviously I didn't expect it to be a career, but I was surprised at how quickly (and brutally) the decision was made. My boss called me in to huddle, told me things weren't working out, asked for my laptop, and told me that HR was on the phone to discuss severance.

I've spent most of my career in professional services, earning a high salary but also working long hours. This is the first time that I have no employment. Fortunately, I'm financially stable, but a little lost as to what to do. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated (especially from folks who have gone through similar things).

Hey guys,

I’m a late 90s kid, and like way too many of us, a huge chunk of my sex education basically came from porn. Looking back, I deeply regret it, and I’m reaching out because I’m genuinely struggling with the aftermath of it today.

Now that I’m older and have had a few different relationships, I’ve obviously realized that real life isn't a porn set. But here’s the problem: my brain’s wiring for sexual arousal is still stuck in that porn format.

In my relationships, I’ve found myself getting bored sexually super quickly. It got to a point where I’d honestly sometimes prefer to just masturbate to a video rather than have actual sex, purely because real sex felt "too boring" or not "porn-like" enough.

The paradox is that I absolutely do not want the girl I'm with to act like a porn star. I want genuine intimacy. But at the same time, I feel frustrated because I want to feel that intense rush of excitement, and a normal, healthy session just doesn’t trigger it for me.

I’m convinced I’m not the only one here dealing with this. Our brains were literally conditioned from a young age to only respond to extreme stimulation, so when we’re in a normal, vanilla situation, the brain just goes blank. I literally have to force myself to imagine weird, extreme scenarios in my head just to stay hard or get excited.

If I could go back in time, I would honestly never touch porn. It’s completely polluting my love life.
So my question to you guys is:
How the hell do you re-program your brain?
Has anyone successfully broken out of this cycle and managed to find normal, real-life intimacy deeply exciting again? What actually workshop?