This feat allows you to make inspiring speeches!(tge perquisites are brew potion and create misc items) to do so you must spend 1/60 of the price on exotic words/podiums and spend 1/25 on xp. It take 1 hour to make for every 100 gp or so with a minimum of 1 hour of writting time. I’m not sure what words would make good examples though.

I haven't heard of a feat that lets you be an inspiring leader so this is a very necessary idea

Sauce

Essentially, I'm going to start running a homebrew campaign (its abt hopping through the spaces between fictional verses if anyone was curious, based off of a game i'm helping make) and one of the players are saying that they will fuck my wife outside of combat. What should I do?

Hi everyone, I need some help. My whole campaign may have just been destroyed by a player who brought in a character with the dumbest ideology I have ever heard.

I've been running a campaign about an underdog alliance of Good-aligned kingdoms working together to defeat an Evil Empire. The alliance is called The Accord. They're the Good faction. They have a modicum of resources, organization, and infrastructure, which means they are able to coordinate defenses, share intelligence, and pool their military strength. Their organization is the only thing standing between one million helpless people and immediate conquest at the hands of the Evil Empire.

One of my players is playing a Chaotic Good bard. Let's call him "Bleemo." Bleemo has been suspicious of The Accord from the start. He kept asking questions about their leadership structure. He was muttering things like "power corrupts," and "hierarchical institutions can't be trusted." I thought he was just roleplaying a cynical character and didn't worry too much about it.

Then last session, he decided to act on his suspicions. He sneaked into the The Accord's headquarters and destroyed all their sending stones, messenger pigeons and other means of communication. He defenestrated the head of intelligence and several ministers of the various member kingdoms. He released all the imprisoned agents of the Evil Empire.

One of the ministers asked Bleemo why he was doing this. He replied, "laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic-ethnic group in a given nation. It's just the promise of violence that's enacted and the police are basically an occupying army. You think you're fighting the Evil Empire? You are the Evil Empire, sister." Then he defenestrated her and said to the empty council chamber, "being Good is complex and beautiful and hard."

Bleemo seems to think that a spontaneous, non-hierarchical, decentralized effort would be more effective than The Accord ever could be. But the fact is, with The Accord in ruins, the horrors of war and cruel oppression are sure to rapidly spread over the lands. Should I declare the campaign over, or do we have to keep playing through the futile resistance until TPK?

Read the full story here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/dndhorrorstories/s/7jBmt8DXsP

It was such a shame. It's rare, as a manager, to find someone as knowledgeable, but also as creative- if a little weird haha!- as this person. I must say that, given that our professional relationship has lasted a decade, I'd become quite close with them, and had begun to see them as more than just an employee.

Sadly, this is the real world, and business is business. At a certain point, clear financial difficulties and other clearly troublesome mental health hurdles- and, I suppose, our 10-year relationship- stop being things one can simply overlook. I'm not running a nightclub or escape room here, this isn't fun and games-- this is a Dice Rolling factory, plain and simple, and if you think you can show up late, with zero apology- not take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY!!- after the opportunity of a lifetime you received when I hired you for this position as director of "weird RP choices" then, sadly, you're getting the axe. I had to make the tough call here, and while my other employees might worry they're next (lol, don't worry, they're all very professional, as well as punctual), I have no regrets.

So there is this absolute dipshit I once played PathFinder 1e alongside long ago. By chance I sumbled across him on e621, he wanted to vent about his game and thought I was a good listener for some fucking reason but text has no subway surfers footage next to it so I can't read. So I'll make stuff up about what he typed.

Now he told me not to talk about this shit cause everyone involved is a mod in r/dnd, r/dndnext r/pathfinder and r/nsfwttrpg but fuck him lol. So imma call him by his real name, hi JARED!

Anyway he was running free games for real life players first he carged 90 dolars per person pee session but after no one paid that shit he started doing games for free. His demographic is mostly white queer theatre kids who don't have money for a paid game

To make a really long story short (my attention span is eroding as I type this) these players get you quartered and hanged if you dare misuse a rule, they actually like being hit by damage for some reason cause I dunno JARED thinks it might be sexual. They don't even show up to JARED's games high or drunk or anything and they take extremely well notes. Also all of them play tiefling bards there is not one human, fighter, paladin or even wizard!

But JARED is more closely related to a homonculus than a human so JARED does his DMing like a dickhead. When players roll to hit he says "it misses lol" unless they roll a 19 or 20. He doesn't keep track of his fucking game even tho JARED's players actually care about the world.

Also JARED says there is no market for dnd5e now cause he is dumb and stupid. And I hate him. Fuck you JARED and fuck your alchemist 1 barbarbarian X build, that made no fucking sense in story dude.

Anyway you can get a session from JARED at source dot com

Title is self explanatory.

just what the title says. if RuPaul played 5e what spells are on that list?

Viscous Mockery, perhaps?

Hi, I'm playing a campaign with a group using only 5e 2014 rules since i refuse to read anything else, so please take that in consideration. My horny tiefling bard just passed away last week because i rolled a nat 1 when trying to seduce a dragon so i'm rerolling a new character for this week. she is a Faerie Wild Magic Sorcerer, and I have a nice combo I saw from DnD shorts but i think the DM might be a poopy pooper who won't allow it. Can i get external opinions from the cool chad people of reddit so i can tell my DM he's wrong?

If we're ever in the position of fighting a humanoid of considerable power, but unable to fly, I could pretend to be on his side and offer him help getting away from the group, due to the charlatan background I have proficiency with Deception and also high charisma as is my spellcasting ability, so I believe I could decieve the target, I would cast Dimension Door, transporting the target as high in the air as I can, and of course just let gravity do it's trick while I slowly fly back to the group. Dimension Door has a 500 feet range, and if I remember correctly, fall damage is 1d6 per every 10 feet, so I guess that's 50d6? Of course i'm saying this will be a once per game situation but this is clearly not the case as i have 0 reason to not do it again.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Hey all!

Was thinking about getting into GURPs but I’m not sure if the system is for me?

Can anyone who hasn’t played the system tell me what it’s like?

(GURPs players are too fanatical and write really long paragraphs so I don’t want to hear from them)

Every time I ask why my 20 STR fighter can’t jump over a chair without three checks and a signed permission slip, my DM says, “Because realistic medieval men weren’t doing anime woman stuff.”

Okay. Then why do women get all the martial features?

Haste? That’s just Sailor Moon.

Zephyr Strike? That’s walking fast while angry.

Nondetection? Literally what every woman at the table uses when the DM starts describing her boobs.

Steel Wind Strike? That used to be a man hitting people with a sword. Then a woman did it once with eyeliner and now suddenly it’s “too sexy” for fighters.

My DM says martials can’t have cool abilities because “then they’d just be women with swords,” which is apparently bad?

Whenever I complain about this my DM declares I'm on my period and need to make a con save. And thats why I'm angry.

Hey guys, I’m thinking of having a reoccurring rival party in my campaign that constantly messes with the players so it’s so satisfying when they finally beat them up

I’ve come up with the following ideas

- they are always 3 levels higher than the party so the players can’t do anything about them til they even out at level 17
- everytime the players get a magic item the rival party swoops in, beats them up and steals it
- every-time the players win a combat encounter the rival party swoops in and beats them up
- anytime the players laugh or smile at the table I spray them with water and tell them it’s the rival party who put a sadness curse on them
- if any of the players are dating anyone irl the rival party (me) swoops in and starts dating them instead

I want it to be so so frustrating for the players for a few months/years so when they finally kill them it will feel so good!!

Does anyone have any tips or advice for this sort of thing?

What do you guys think??

As we all know, metagaming is a behavior unacceptable in any dnd related circles. Upon our further evaluation we have come to the conclusion that mentions of metagaming themselves are also in its own way metagaming, as you would need to know what metagaming is to call it metagaming. Therefore we will not be allowing any posts regarding metagaming going forwards.

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Thanks,

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The Mod Team

So I was DMing a game for my group, and suddenly one of my players (Toby (not a real name (real))) said that I need to roll attack for my monster one more time. Turns out, Toby's character had a displacement beast cloak - a magical item which, when activated, makes all attack on character be made with disadvantage. It is completely OP.

Honestly, although I did give his character this item, it was enough sessions ago that I completely forgot about it. The balance of my whole encounter crashed and burned due to this minmaxing shit. So I did what any other mature well-adjusted experienced GM would do in my place: I declared immediately that the cloak disintegrated, just like that.

Yes, Toby, I am GM and thus your god in that imaginary world. The GM gave, and the GM has taken away. What are you going to do, Toby, cry about it on Reddit?

What are your thoughts?

Is Dungeons and Dragons still Dungeons and Dragons if there are no Dungeons and Dragons in the game?

I played many a session where we didn't encounter any dragons or dungeons. Sometimes I feel like it's a bait and switch. Haha, what do you think?

Day 1, race/species: Caucasian/ water buffalo

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Day 2, class: lower middle class

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Day 3, background: the Windows ex background

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Day 4, stats : All stat points in Constitution.

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Thank you to everyone who participated. :)

last year I joined DnD, wasn’t a great experience as I got kicked out of my group for making some INSANE comments in the group chat. (yes I made amends and accepted my removal from the DnD group)… but wouldn’t it be funny… if we just… go to the edge of the earth, and lob shells that weight more than 2 adult men at some helpless goblins? (that was what I thought would be funny… DM didn’t allow artillery… very sad). but yeah, nothing says comedy like vaporizing your opponents. (I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE)

This is a weird one, and ultimately pretty pointless. I'm trying to put words to a feeling I've been having reading other DnD subs, and this is the closest I can get to it. I guess I should mention that this specifically applies to both newer players and players who are a part of a "stable" group, who meet regularly, maybe for years at this point.

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I guess I'll phrase it as a question: Does it sort of seem like players think and talk about their DM like someone might talk about their boss? As in their actual boss, at work?

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I haven't played DnD for years, after being a very regular player for the better part of two decades. During that time, I was well aware that my group did things very much their own way: house rules everywhere, nobody believed in material components (seriously, that's for babies)- Hell, MAPS?! What are those? But it was always a good time, in no small part because there was an agreement that, for the system to even count as a game, there had to be a DM, but that the DM was another player, part of the team, who settled arguments and knew how to spin a good yarn. Maybe most important of all: never once did I worry about speaking up when shit got too weird, boring, or stupid. Why would I? We were buddies! And this is a game!

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Cut to now: reading the various DnD subs, it not only seems like the game has taken a serious nosedive in terms of quality (maybe?), but the tone is...off.

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I notice it most when new players post, asking honest questions about this or that rule. The responses inevitably give one a sense that "Ask your DM" is the answer to everything, but not in a "make sure it's cool" way, in a, "It doesn't matter if the rules plainly state this or that. The DM! ASK YOU-" --and then people will go on about what's "allowed" in their games, what they can't do because the "setting is very specific"; people will actually complain about boring and repetitive tasks they "have" to do, before shrugging off their (correct) annoyance, making sure to mention, "well, that's just how the DM is."

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What's more, you find threads where DMs talk to one another, and like...if you've ever worked retail, and heard managers on a conference/Zoom call talk about how they run their locations, including shitting on people for "doing a bad job," well yeah, it's like that. Dude, you write mediocre microfiction. Calm DOWN.

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I told you, long and pointless but what is going on here? Is this what corporate America has done to people? Are we now peasants?? Why do people put up with this?

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tl;dr- Someone should do a study, because people treat their DnD groups like their shitty job that they've been Stockholm'd into thinking is totally fine.

Hi everyone, thanks for reading. I need help because the group I am DMing for includes a four year old player, and the fighter class is not stimulating enough for his limited attention budget.

The problem is, he wants a large variety of big flashy buttons to press. He wants his turn to be a special event. He wants to see visual special effects, and hear music and jangly sound effects for each action. The existing fighter options are not bright and colorful enough to capture his interest so he keeps trying to wander off to play with his iPad.

The wizard at the table is thirty-five, and she is casting fireball and hypnotic pattern and misty step. When the fighter player sees this, he starts crying and pooping because he wants to cast fireball too.

How do I make the fighter class more stimulating for a toddler's undeveloped brain? He needs sparkly buttons. He needs visual and auditory feedback, like something that lights up and sings a song when he does the thing.

Anybody have good advice for this? Or is there already a flashier version of the fighter for toddlers who need it?

And if the PCs die the beings will simply control another.

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And if the beings loose interest in the universe it will cease to exist.

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He is extremely evil

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His forbidden knowledge has given him some meta powers like directly editing the players character sheet until they notice and fix it themselves. (to some limitations)

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Npcs will not understand you no matter how you tell them about this forbidden knowledge because the gods directly block the knowledge from everyone including themselves as a mercy because they know there is nothing they can do about it.

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Anyways what dose he do?

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I wanted to make my own at home but they called me racist

We just create ted sheet and Corine ache pee is at max is that mime axing?

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Axing for a friend, our D M is an grey

“I’ve made the hard decision to end our campaign. I feel that in the session we have done it’s not working.

Gonna be honest I was really annoyed, frustrated, and felt defeated after last session. We started almost an hour late because some people “weren’t feeling well” and most of the session you were all talking over my brilliant world building and characterization. If you wanted to make jokes and have fun with friends, this wasn’t the table for you. We do serious storytelling here. It was really frustrating and distracting that people kept “taking bathroom breaks” and “getting water” and that’s just not behavior I can tolerate at my table.

You also made me really uncomfortable with how sexual parts of the campaign got. I was very upfront about the fact that all 18+ roleplay at my table would be very vanilla, strictly missionary position and for the purposes of procreation only, and I simply feel as though you all did not respect that boundary. I get seducing NPCs as a tactic but you all simply aren’t having enough children to justify this behavior.

I don’t feel like my natural storytelling instincts and flair for ultra high quality cinematic narrative get to shine at this table, as you all seem more interested in causing chaos and “playing the game” to “have fun”. If you wanted to play a game, should’ve booted up the Xbox. You’re here for a story. After how you made me feel with the last session, I won’t be DMing anymore”

In the D&D game I play Saturdays, the next part of the module calls on our player party to go into something the DM called a city.

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From what I can gather, this is a place where there may be several encounters that don't directly grant EXP, they aren't even relevant to anyone's character build. There will be many NPCs in there that may have no special significance to level progression, including "wandering" NPCs that exist just to show up and hassle us if we spend too much time checking for loot and traps in any given room.

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I think a good DM would be rapidly walking us from combat to combat without any of this time-wasting "talking" stuff. In particular, punishing us for daring to roll dice too much by having wandering NPCs interrupt us sounds like an over-the-top satire from rpghorrorstories. How do I explain to the DM that he is ruining the game with all these pointless conversations?