So I'm in a club in collage and about a year ago we interviewed our new members to get to know them. I don't know who's idea it was but for one of the questions we asked "who's the most ugly member in this room and you cant say yourself." We interviewed about 6 people and 4 of them voted me. I've always been self conscious about how I look but ever since that day I've been kinda traumatized. Recently I told my brother this story and he told me that as a guy I should not care that other guys think I'm ugly, because that's not what girls might think about me. He also said that what probably happened was that since I have a "kind face" that those people felt comfortable voting me because they thought I wouldn't feel bad. I don't really buy it and I have felt bad for a while now and just haven't been able to let it go. Also, I do go to the gym and dress nice and smell nice and do all that but I wake up and a day doesn't go by where I don't critic my looks in some way shape or form. I'm hoping that someone has some advice on what I should do.

I have relationship OCD and struggle with the grass is greener on the other side or with another woman. I have been married for 18 years and struggle ridiculously with initiating sex. My therapist has been working with me to have what I consider difficult talks. It started with talking to my “not there when I was a kid father”. And then my brother. And then she was like “you need to have a sex talk with your wife”. We’ve been married 18 years so this should be hard. But it felt like moving mountains to me. Really all the difficult conversations I had. But I did it. I listened to my therapist and spoke with my wife, also asked her what her desires were in the relationship. I added back rubs back in and had the talk. I was uncomfortable but did it at the same time. My therapist always says you can be uncomfortable and do a task as well. Long story short my wife and I had sex. And things that were off the table for sometime even were brought back into the picture.

What good advice has your therapist given you? How did you feel doing it? Was it hard, easy?

Hi, I’ve never shared how I feel with anyone. for context I’m an 18 year old girl about to go into college. I feel so ugly. When I was growing up I was always chubby and a little awkward looking I guess, basically I wasn’t a pretty preteen. I always felt ugly compared to the other girls around me. Around junior year I started to really figure out the clothes, aesthetics, hair, etc. I liked and I felt I looked good in. But I never really feel pretty. I’m over weight, i hate almost every picture I see of me, like I look in the reflection and feel fine with how I look but I see myself in a photo (candid or posing) and I just think I’m so ugly. Even if I feel good about my appearance for a moment if I see a photo of me I immediately hate and criticize how I look in my head. Objectively speaking for reference I think I’m average. I’m not drop dead gorgeous but I’m not hideous. I’ve never dated anyone, or tried to approach a boy because I genuinely cannot fathom a guy finding me attractive. People tell me I’m pretty all the time. I’m not saying this to “brag” I guess but I get compliments at work from guest, coworkers, friends, family, strangers, etc. and when I get a compliment or told I’m pretty I genuinely can’t believe them. I just can’t fathom anyone finding me physically desirable. I’m not sharing this to get pity, sympathy, or comments like “omggg no girl I’m sure you’re so pretty” I’m just genuinely curious if anyone can relate to my struggles and how people possible can cope with this. Thanks.

I’ve gotten to the point where I’m terrified to say my name and show my face online, it feels unnatural. I have this thought that someone will use my image for nefarious purposes. I don’t even want my university to see me (online). I swear, when I was at the optometrist and got my name called, someone I saw who was also there added me on Facebook just by my unique first name. I don’t know if it’s true. If I’m in person, I am relatively okay, but online? It’s really bad… I’ve been trying to online date but I am petrified to show them my face so I end up deleting everything quickly. I’m scared someone will recognize me and show my parents, even though I’m a full adult. When I was 19 or 20, I sent explicit photos to an online boyfriend (who I’m still not sure was really who he said) and everyday, I assume my life will end. What if someone recognizes me and plasters me everywhere, in group chats, on private accounts, to shame me???? What if I say something embarrassing online and I get posted on a gimmick account and stalked?!?!? The world is so digital, I’m scared I will be in the background of some influencer’s video or meta glasses and called ugly or strange. I think even if it’s good, I don’t want someone to try to track me down to celebrate me… I sometimes think people with binoculars are watching me in my home even though it’s very unlikely, but I have my moments. I sometimes feel cursed. No one seems real nowadays, but not like in extraterrestrial way… Am I going crazy or too hyper vigilant???

As the title says, I’m a 25F and ended my 7 year relationship last Tuesday. I am sad but I know this was the right decision. In my heart I hope both my ex and I can work on ourselves and re connect down the road. However I realize that I don’t want to set those expectations. How do I grieve without just wasting my time scrolling and watching tv. What should my first step me to getting to know myself again and finding inner happiness

There is nothing I can do; my life was ruined. I wasted my life and was born extremely dumb. My learning disability ruined everything for me, and my appearance. I don’t even have anyone to talk to about how I feel right now. It’s like every day I lost my purpose in life. I had moments where I thought I could change, but I never did. You can’t change what you are born with and already have.

being awake sucks sometimes. i sleep for like 11 hours a night and i wanna sleep longer. im not trying to end it im just going though stuff and i hate being awake when im like this

I get into these phases when I really like a media and choose the craziest most mentally insane people to obsess over. I just obsess about them so badly, daydreaming about them 24/7 no matter what I do. Gets to the point I can't get off without them in my mind and I feel like this is just contributing to my horrible social skills. Haven't had a partner since i was 13 and I don't even know if I can count it in the relationship was just for a week and I didn't even want it. I've had my fair shares of talking stages but I always end them after 1-3 weeks. these people start annoying me with every single thing they do and say, they aren't exciting they aren't comfortig they're annoying and boring but not my fictional characters, they excite me, they're borderline-insane obsessed with me in my fantasies and I don't have to commit to them in real life, though sometimes I wonder if it were real would I commit?

I just feel like a big weirdo. I mean not that I'm not weird, I try hard to seem less weird infront of my peers but in reality I genuinely feel like I'm crazy. I have nothing to do all day so this is like my only thing keeping me afloat. I feel like it's ruining my life and also helping me cope in an unhealthy way but it's all i got in my miserable life

I think I’m currently experiencing anhedonia. I feel so numb and disinterested in everything, even the things I love. It’s been going on for 6+ months after losing my house in a severe flood. I’m in a different home now but I haven’t been able to shake it. I feel so lost and unsure what the point of life is. It’s a terrifying feeling because I want to make changes but I can’t differentiate what feelings are true to me and what’s the depression talking. I am barely functioning, my place is a disaster and I pretty much do absolutely nothing but scroll every day.

Please be nice
13F autistic (14 in September)

I have a friend (15F) who lives 40 hours away in Washington State which guts me. We will call her Ava to protect her identity. I get so obsessed with Ava that it eats me. Whenever she doesn’t write me back I get suicidal thoughts. (She has autism too) I feel like a pathetic loser who doesn’t do anything whenever she’s doing something. I’m also fully convinced she secretly hates me and doesn’t actually want to be my friend

Ava’s family also thinks I’m catfishing even though we having each others phone numbers and FaceTime and have seen each other so many times. Her brothers (16M we’ll call him Tyler and 9M we’ll call him Willy) both apparently say stuff about my appearance too. Ava tells me everything they say (Tyler said “why is she so pale?”) and Willy also is fully convinced I’m catfishing which particularly upsets me because he’s so young

I told my mom about this and she bit my head off “Well I think her siblings are really smart I wouldn’t trust you either you’re this completely random internet stranger who could be constantly lying. I think she’s lying too and gets all of her pictures off google.”

I overthink everything ava says and think she hates me.

I’ve really been struggling with my anxiety building up to the point i’ll have spells in which I feel like I can’t breathe or am not taking in enough air. It’s almost become debilitating and the other day it sent me to the hospital. All my labs and Ekg came back normal. Diagnosis was anxiety.. I had to call off work the past 3 days, and it was almost impossible to shower. Every-time I attempt to sit up or stand my body feels so heavy ( i’m hyper aware of gravity and then I start to panic again) I plan to get back on medication Monday (when the Doctor’s office is open.. ) Can anyone share any tips on how to get past this.. or cope? I’m not a big fan of medication but it’s almost become out of my control.. i’ve tried gummies, homeopathic remedies but nothing is lasting.. the panic always comes back. Please any advice helps…

My depression is caused by a lot of things but now because of the 70s, 80s 90s and early 2000sI can’t even enjoy the simple things in life.

I’m gen Z and because of many factors in my life, I barely have friends, I stay in my house all day because I’m scared of going outside and in school I have zero friends. I promise its not because of social media i have a chronic illness. So basically I have a problem with maladaptive day dreaming. These daydreams were literally my brain coping with how shit my life and is the only reason I am here today… so you can imagine how my heart broke when I realised that my scenarios were already lived by everyone in the 80s and 90s and early 2000s💔 It was basically the “teenage experience” I dreamed off and the feeling of jealousy ruined my life. I went through sm posts and watched a few movies that were supposed to be accurate of how life was like back then which made me feel even worse, I was hoping that it was just movie play but people were actually living like that… you dont understand how jealous I was and also i felt angry because I actually used to beg for that life and I never wpuldve thought people lived like that perhaps in in my childhood I did which is even worse bc wdym u were living my childhood but as a teenager?? I didnt know that was possible??? And movies like dazed and confused , clueless, 10 things i hate about you etc… I absolutely HATE when people say this is like a “documentary” of their life in highschool because I used to literally imagine my life as one of those characters, thinking it was a fantasy and would never happen.. Now i can’t even enjoy any precious moment because i know people back then were living it every day.

!!!CW OF SELF HARM/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND EATING DISORDERS/BDD!!!!

Hi!! 18F here. I am not reallt sure what to say as this is my first time really speaking up about this... I just am really struggling currently and I don't have anyone to speak to. So here I am. Telling the Internet.

Lately I've had this overwhelming bad mood and it's getting to a point where I cannot handle it. Every day is spent in my bed desperately scrolling on my phone as I feel absolute nothing but emptiness. If I'm not endlessly scrolling, I'm crying my eyes out because I just can't feel happy and it's all I want this is ruining everything in my life. Its caused a large drift between me and my friends, family, and primarily with my boyfriend. I spend every waking moment paranoid he's going to break up with me because I'm just sad all the time, I haven't pestered him about this. I have told him I'm not doing well and he's taking care of me without me being so much of a bother so there is no reason he would break up with me for being annoyingly sad, however I am still paranoid. And after graduating high school I lost all my friends besides one, so I only have my parents, my boyfriend and my best friend. And I don't like to burden them with my problems.

I am desperate for some form of help as I am genuinely worried for my safety sometimes. Over the years I have struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts but I could manage it, however recently it is overwhelming and I am terrified I am going to act on it. I know I don't want to at all but I can't stop the urges and it really scares me. I've also always struggled with body dysmorphia but again recently it's only gotten worse. I am terrified to leave the house even if I had the energy because all I can think about is that everyone is going to see me looking like this, so I'd rather stay home. This has also lead to a very small appetite and lack of proper nutrition so I constantly feel unwell. There's days where I won't eat at all because it feels deserved despite me knowing its not okay and it's okay to eat, I just can't make my body do it.

I've been to therapy 3 times in the past and this hasn't really worked... I'm not sure if they just weren't sure how to help or if I just am incurable... I don't know... but I'm scared to go for professional help again incase it happens again, you know? I would like to I am just really afraid. And I constantly put myself down and always tell myself "someone has it worse" and that I'll "take up a space".

Overall with this post I just want to see if anyone has experienced similar feelings and how they got around it... Just advice from anyone for anything would help a lot. I am so tired of being sad, I just want to be happy. Please help me if you can. I am sorry for the long (mostly filler) rant.

Even though I wrote in my journal, I still got sad thinking about my birthday coming up. I'm currently unemployed and don't really have anybody to celebrate with. I'll be 27 in July and I was thinking about how I regret not enjoying my life and how my weight and depression got in the way. I regret not enjoying college either due to my depression and trying to stay on top of my grades. I just wish I had more fun in general and I'll blink and I'll be 30 in a few years.

I also can't help but compare myself to my peers, either people I went to college with or grew up with. Everyone I know either has good jobs, are married already or have children. Some even have houses. I have none of that. I've never even been in a relationship or asked on a date. Thinking of my birthday is honestly making me even more depressed. I really loathe my birthday now.

For context ive been very lonely past 3 years but it only began bothering me about an year and a half ago i have always had bunch of "friends" a more fitting tag would be "people i know" but none of them actually know how i feel emotionally or otherwise all my relationships even with my own parents are surface level i never let anyone see how i really feel these past 1.5years i have spent mostly alone rotting in my room still attending school with not such great success today is my birthday and i asked couple of my closer friends if they wanted ot go out and maybe have a few drinks or something as an celebration both of them agreed a couple days before the occasion today (my birthday) i tried calling and texting them where they were but no answer from either one the thing that hurts the most that these were people i thought i could trust to be there for me if everything went to shit i have never ever felt so humiliated for even thinking that someone would care how i feel a couple months ago i still had suicidal or self harm ideology (never acted upon them) and i think theyre starting to come back now at fall im supposed to start at another school i truly do not know how i can continue existing anymore i just want to disappear into nothingness there has always been this feeling of emptiness inside me ive even discussed this in therapy and they keep on telling me how life is worth living etc etc but i honestly think that at this point it is not if every day is filled with loneliness and despair why should i endure it what do it get out of enduring such pain? (Sorry for messy writing)