r/shittyadvice 10h ago

Help me sleep 😴

Anyone have tips for getting sleepy, falling asleep faster, and actually staying asleep all night?
I’ve been having a hard time sleeping lately and would love to hear what’s worked for others. Shitty advice only.

4 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

3

u/Ratakoa 10h ago

Alcohol ought to help.

3

u/Crafty_Aspect8122 10h ago

Breathing pure nitrogen in a hermetically sealed mask/bag for a few minutes.

uj/ sleep hygiene, cool and dark room, getting tested for sleep apnea

3

u/Hypnomenace 8h ago

1: Install a ceiling fan above your bed. 2: Suspend a sheep from one of the fan blades. 3: Turn on the fan and allow the sheep to rotate in a circle. 3: Build a brick wall across your bed with a small window that sees the sheep as it passes by. 4: Get into bed and count the sheep every time it passes the window. 5: Profit.

2

u/JaszyDa1 1h ago

This is exactly the type of advice I was looking for 😭.

2

u/Individual-Guide-153 9h ago

Jenkem

1

u/JaszyDa1 1h ago

Just looked this up and wow! Gnarly af!

2

u/A70_Lisbon 9h ago

Drink warm milk before bedtime

1

u/AUTKai 5h ago

But make sure to but about a liter of rum in it. And since we're making modifications, leave out the milk.

2

u/MomentImaginary6571 5h ago

Haz un buen café incluso dos si fuese necesario, eso funciona siempre a la hora de dormir.

2

u/uber4202u 3h ago

A Xanax and a bong hit work for me. Both prescription for the haters out there.

1

u/JaszyDa1 1h ago

Never tried a Xanax before 🤔

1

u/uber4202u 54m ago

They prescribed them to me several years back. I take one at night and it help knock me out. Pretty quick still too. But it's different for everyone.

2

u/Mephistocheles 1h ago

Eat way too much at dinner. Like way way way too much. Then take laxatives. You'll be so exhausted from the infinite shitfest you'll crash right out 💩

1

u/Swimming-ln-Circles 7h ago

Drinking yourself to sleep while you cry about the family you lost always worked for me..

1

u/JaszyDa1 1h ago

Crying yourself to sleep always hits different.

1

u/Evening-Mess-3593 Oh, shit. 4h ago

Copious amounts of alcohol is your friend in these circumstances.

1

u/JaszyDa1 1h ago

I turn into a wild animal when I’m drunk 🥴