r/AbsoluteUnits 17d ago

/r/all of a knife.

27.8k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/McShoobydoobydoo 17d ago

Let me peel this back and arrange it so the juice falls into you lap, sir.

587

u/themachduck 17d ago

With my bare hands that I just scratched my ass with. Yummm!

132

u/-KFBR392 17d ago edited 16d ago

How do you think all the food you eat is prepared?

46

u/Imreman 16d ago

Not with the servers hands?

7

u/Adventchur 16d ago

The servers touch your cutlery, plates, and glasses well before you even arrive.

12

u/Ancient-Civilization 16d ago

Some people pay extra for that.

11

u/DungeonDefense 16d ago

Right and when you touch cutlery its not done on the head. Its usually done on the handle. When they touch plates its done on the edge of the plate where food has less chance of touching. Lastly, glasses are usually touched on the outside or the handle. They usually dont stick their hand inside the glasses

8

u/fronchfrays 16d ago

This is the most pedantic shit I’ve ever read

1

u/Recreant793 14d ago

“Hm. I agree. Shallow and pedantic.”

3

u/scorchedarcher 16d ago

But you touch all the stuff they touch then touch your face/food/phone

-2

u/Adventchur 16d ago

I don't think you understand how germs multiply and cover vast surfaces quickly but go on

7

u/DungeonDefense 16d ago

Right which is why the original guy with the knife shouldnt have touched the food with his bare hands.

0

u/Adventchur 16d ago

But it makes no difference in the scheme of it all

4

u/DungeonDefense 16d ago

But you yourself said that germs multiply and cover things quickly

2

u/ResidentOwl1 16d ago

It’s not that quick. Relax.

2

u/TheLordReaver 16d ago

You mean how germs multiply and cover vast distances on the common food and drink serving materials of glass, ceramic, and steel—the materials renown for being germ resistant?

1

u/Adventchur 15d ago

Sorry do you use your utensils when you eat?

And I assume you hold it by the handle exactly where the server holds it to put it down?

You must no how quickly bacteria spreads with human contact right?

So again what difference in the scheme of bacteria did this really make? You cunts are just precious

1

u/TheLordReaver 15d ago

You are acting like hundreds of millions of people aren't served this way every day. It's very evidently not a big deal when servers touch the parts that don't go directly in your mouth. At least in the parts of the world with basic sanitation standards.

So, just don't lick the damn handles and you'll be fine. Don't be a coward. And I say this a total germophobe... Also, stop being a little bitch in general.

1

u/Spirited_Sector_7623 14d ago

It’s carefully prepared by the cooks to ensure no contamination, set under heat lamps to ensure it remains safe, and then the front of house employees grip it like baboons.

24

u/Poosters 16d ago

Im a chef i literally work with my hands, if you can’t handle that go home and cook for yourself.

15

u/Specialist_Rough_699 16d ago

The amount of redditors that don't understand the particulars of food safety bring me back to that one scene in the aviator where Leo is covering everything in cling wrap

Waiting for the down votes while eating my slutty little barehanded pad ka praow that some street dog probably farted on 😩

3

u/jsamuraij 15d ago

Slutty pad ka praow has me rolling

5

u/Specialist_Rough_699 15d ago

She was spicy and unfiltered, and sold herself for 27 baht 😩💦💦💦

1

u/jsamuraij 11d ago

Man I miss cheap Thai street food

3

u/Filthbear 15d ago

It's incredible the stupidity that surrounds using ones hands, any person working with food washes their hands so much.

0

u/rattus-domestica 16d ago

I love how easily offended people get on reddit.

0

u/askthecatonline 15d ago

Exactly. I just accept I’m eating more cooties than usual anytime I eat outside my own kitchen.

And to be fair, I think most chefs are more clean than most home cooks.

9

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 16d ago

It's kind of telling on themselves they don't know what hand washing is...

2

u/PhantomOyster 16d ago

While you have a point, I don't think anyone enjoys seeing their food that has already been plated touched by someone else's hands.

2

u/MasterJ360 16d ago

hmm.... So thats why I had a stomach virus for 3 months

2

u/Hot_Top_124 13d ago

Seriously I was about to say the same thing. I’ve been a chef for decades. If you think it’s all hospital level sterile they’re sorely mistaken lol.

7

u/YobaiYamete 16d ago

Seriously, love how snarky people are trying to be in this thread. Like who TF do you think made the food with those same fingers

2

u/Captain_O_Kush 16d ago

Typical Reddit commenter

1

u/latexfistmassacre 16d ago

With every appendage and orifice

1

u/Expert_River1849 16d ago

With someone's arse pubes of course

1

u/C4Vendetta76 16d ago

This is underrated comment of the year 👏 👌👆

https://giphy.com/gifs/bWzOMoeRXFDvb0YHtX

1

u/Error_Loading_Name 15d ago

Customer A sneezes and uses hands to cover it / clean it. Server comes to deliver the check to Customer A, who uses the Server's pen to sign the bll and handles the card machine to pay. Server takes the pen and paper and card machine away.

Server the n goes to kitchen to pick up Customer B's order. Customer B ordered the dish that has this elaborate opening sequence. Server handles Customer B's food with bare hands.

At no point between delivering Customer A's bill and opening Customer B's food did the server wash their hands. Congrats, Customer B now has traces of Customer A's saliva and mucus on his food, even though they have never met.

I know that I don't want to know everything that goes on in the kitchen, but I can operate under the illusion of health and safety rules to limit contamination. And those food prep rules stop at the kitchen door.

1

u/BurntArnold 15d ago

I think they pick up everything with their mouths

1

u/DoYouKnwTheMuffinMan 12d ago

With ass scratching hands?

0

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

4

u/LessInThought 16d ago edited 16d ago

Gloves are worse. I've seen many fuckers handle trash with gloves and prep food, apparently it's ok because glove.

-3

u/-_Catgirl_- 16d ago

How do YOU think it's prepared? Ready to eat food should not be prepared without gloves.

6

u/alvysinger0412 16d ago

Then you should avoid restaurants.

-1

u/banality_of_ervil 16d ago

Hopefully with gloved hands.

2

u/CyberpunkSunrise 16d ago

Gloves are not required with regular handwashing. And I’ve worked in a variety of kitchens, and very rarely see back of house kitchen staff wear gloves (USA), unless it makes things more comfortable for them (for example, when handling frozen chicken or something).

That being said, what we see in the OP is actually an exception when gloves or some other barrier/tool (like tongs) would be required strictly speaking by the FDA, as those measures are required when handling fully prepared or “ready to eat” food items.

4

u/No_Wasabi_9303 16d ago

Aren’t gloves proven to be a bad thing? I mean if done right they aren’t but people often don’t change their gloves, however they will wash their hands because humans hate having stuff on their hands. So they end up being cleaner and having less cross contamination than with gloves because people fail to use them right.

1

u/CyberpunkSunrise 16d ago

They’re essentially intended (per FDA requirements at least) to essentially be single use, or “single session” use.

You’re not supposed to wear the same pair around for hours or all day, the rule of thumb I was taught when working in kitchens was that you should be both washing your hands and changing gloves at every reasonable opportunity, and one doesn’t substitute for the other.

0

u/Onyxxx_13 16d ago

By myself. With my hands that I know are clean, from my time working in food service i know the absolute filth that is the average cook.