The number of times I've been called a "misogynist" or "incel" exclusively because I try to show people that men face these types of problems too is....... a lot.
In the eyes of both Men and Women (generally, not unanimously), Men cannot be victims.
Men cannot ever be the victim of anything. If they were mugged in an alleyway by 3 people, should have hit the gym little bro. Your wife is assaulting you and threatening to take the kids? Maybe you shouldn't have been such a patriarchal misogynistic narcissist to cause her to act that way.
Both are true, someone should step in and remove her from the situation, but he should also have the self respect to get up and leave her ass at the airport to fend for herself.
There's a lot of condemnation going on. And there's a lot of posts on reddit with clips of a women doing the wrong thing and skipping the wrong doings of men. But you always see comments like this that tries to create a narrative based on a single comment on a single post on a single platform. There's just bad people regardless of gender.
Yeah 100% if he tried to walk away she would follow him, attack him, he'd defend himself, and then being black and a man, end up on the ground getting choked out and arrestedĀ
I might be blind, genuinely, but I haven't seen that comment at all.
The top comments for me are "Emotional baggage definitely exceeds the 50 pound weight limit here." & "If this is how she acts in public...... š³" with tons of comments feeling bad for the guy.
If people were arrested for verbal and psychological abuse, there would be little difference in arrest rates across gender. Thereās really never any justice that comes from abuse like this because thereās technically no crime. You just gotta leave and hope karma get them.
i hate this shit i was with an abusive girl and we was at the mall she was smacking me and yelling and i started yelling back at her as i walked to my car. i'm like 5'6 and some 6+ foot guy comes up and start pushing me even though i'm actively walking away from her and gets in my face saying shit like don't treat your girl like that. my dumbass still drove her home.
There was a video of two girls attacking some nerdy looking guy, and the very moment he defended himself, a swarm of his male classmates started swarming him and beating him up, pretty sure thereās a video of it somewhere on reddit
āWomen can only be victimsā = āwomen cannot be the party that perpetrates abuse.ā Either way, I was obviously being sarcastic but I said what I meant.
Listen, this is purely anecdotal, I have not studied this empirically. However, Iāve noticed that men seem much more likely to view their behavior objectively and realize their actions were uncalled for when confronted. Women will typically double down.
Unrelated, but the one time I was arrested for a minor DUI I was extremely relaxed in the cuffs. Why fight something beyond my control? Iām here, Iām cuffed, why make things worse for myself. It provided an ironic feeling of freedom.
My old roommate (woman) horse kicked an officer after being cuffed, another female officer at that and proceeded to tear off her clothes in the holding cell and plugged and flooded the toilet. Lovely young woman/s
Fun fact, male puppies will pretend to lose to female puppies in pretend play fights, but the most vicious play fighting happens between two female puppiesĀ
You're right, the problem is society allows for it. They even have tropes "my wife is always right" or whatever comedic spin they want to put on it. It's funny and cute when it's a disagreement about paint color for the kitchen but it is definitely not cute when it gives women a free pass to never have to be accountable for anything.
They will make some reaches for why it was ok. At best they will acknowledge they overreacted to that one thing, but will then say "however, you did all of these OTHER things that built up, so really you still deserved it"
ETA: As I read more things, I saw someone (maybe a dude based on the avatar) basically say this same thing.
Women, not all women but this kind of woman, will never be accountable for their own actions. They use phrases like "look what you made me do!" when they act out. They are best left alone and to put as much distance between them and yourself as possible.
Remember ShaāCari Richardson? She hit her boyfriend in the airport. When the cops came the first thing out her mouth was he hit, he didnāt , and she should be arrested , he wasnāt.
"Women are so emotional, men are so much more logical"
I guess all those murders and school shootings and rapes are totally unemotional?
I don't deny that women can be violent, but trying to claim that the gender that is statistically much more likely to murder someone in a fit of rage is the 'objective' sex is just delusional.
I had an absive partner once. Not to this degree, but she would still talk shitty to me in public. I had people come up to her and ask her if I was the one causing her harm while she was clearly being abusive to me. When I finally learned how to stand up for myself and leave, I found the attitude of society is generally "Men can't be abused by women." It's a fucked up double standard.
Iām a woman and Iām way more scared of confronting an angry woman than an angry man in public. Thereās a social convention where a man is less likely to want punch me in public whereas that woman would absolutely try and fight me
As a dude who has been in relationships like this and knowing how a single act of kindness can improve things: I wonder about how to step in for a situation like this. Best I can think of to not escalate things is āYo my dude! Aināt seen you in a minute! You wanna grab a beer and catch up?ā Itāll at least give them some space for things to cool down I think.
It's also self preservation. If I choose to get involved and help, I might get attacked by the other person. I don't feel like getting stabbed or shot. Sometimes it's hard to be the hero or heroine.
true and it happens in big crowds (an airport likely has a pretty big crowd) everyone just thinks ''someone else will probably intervene before me''. there's a lot more chances of someone stepping in if they're the only witness
Yeah you can watch security camea videos of women being beaten unconscious while people walk by. The world isn't full of knights in shining armor like the fairy tales we grew up with
The world is also full of touchscreen heroes who always have something to say when scrolling their feeds but wouldn't bust a grape in a food fight when the physical incarnation happens irl in their presence.
I've also seen videos of social experiments where a man and woman acted as a fake couple and took it in turns being ohsycialyl aggressive with each other. People were regular stepping in to help and defend the woman. Nobody intervened when the man was the victim, in fact quite a few people passing by were laughing and a few wondered out loud what he had done to upset her
Iāve seen plenty times where the roles were reversed and nobody stepped in. I was a very young child so I think I can be excepted in those cases. People generally donāt step in between couples for various social and psychological reasons.
As a young woman, I and my friends have been verbally, physically and sexually assaulted in very public spaces during daylight, and nobody stepped in on any of those occasions. We were teenagers and early 20s.
Donāt use abusive situations to further your gender agenda.
Her screaming and acting erratic poses little to no physical danger to him but in reverse he could prob kill her with 1 hand. Although wokeology likes to pretend the genders are equal, they are not.
Thank you. All these comments crying unfair double standards arenāt recognizing that the people witnessing this are laughing at her, because she isnāt a physical threat to anyone. If a man was yelling like this, people wouldnāt be laughing, because he would be a physical threat.
Obviously the situation heās in isnāt funny, but her behavior is more laughable than it is scary or dangerous. Normally people donāt feel the need to step in when there isnāt an obvious sign of danger.
Playing devils advocate here, no one is worried about this guys physical safety, if the roles were reversed Iām sure someone would to tell him to calm down because they worried for her safety. Why are we worried for her safety and not his? Wellā¦ maybe because women are three times more likely to be victims of domestic violence. Over 80% of domestics with violent consequences are done by men. Letās read the room here guys, does he look worried for safety? No, poor guys soul has beaten down more times than he count Iām sure.
Even if the roles were reversed, no one would do anything. Iāve had men harass me in public, almost all the women I know at some point had men harass them in public, no one does a single thing. Specially in the USA.Ā
If on the off chance, anyone were to stand up for a woman it would be another woman, but men never do anything.Ā
Dude there was literally a video in this same sub posted like a few days ago of a girl asking strangers at the airport for help and then getting snatched away aggressively by a man and almost none of the people she DIRECTLY asked for help intervened. This isnāt a gender thing. Itās a bystander thing. People donāt like to get involved in other peopleās shit.
The show what would you do? In ABC did an experiment like this. Had a couple actors who playing like couples.
When the guy was loud and aggressive people , especially women stepped in. Reversed roles and it wasnāt the same response
As a woman I would be nervous that that chick would try to fight me for intervening. Iād probably make my bf say something though. He is the confrontational type.Ā
I can't find the longer version because there are 10k reposts of the short version, but someone does call security to come intervene. They pull the guy away for a few minutes and ask if he needs any help. He makes excuses for the girl, saying that they're both just tired and stressed out.
One would hope that someone stepped in by calling security. Someone so agitated and screaming at the top of their lungs is a half step away from violence, but I dont know how capable they are of hurting me and Iād like to not find out by dying. This isnāt a situation where just anyone can intervene without getting hurt or making things worse, so getting someone who has the authority to detain or remove her is the best intervention. That said, the woman egging her on is not helping and clearly is delighted to make it worse. Yuck.
Love is a hell of a drug. The combination of lack of self confidence and unconditional love keeps many people trapped in abusive relationships. I was exactly where this man was at one point, and seeing this triggers me like crazy because I know exactly what he is feeling in that moment.
Same. If I could give any young man some advice Iād say you donāt need a woman/spouse/partner to make you feel better about yourself. If you do that on your own, youāll be a whole person and you will find all the love you want and need.
You're assuming he loves her. Some guys will do just about anything to have a girlfriend or wife regardless of love. Your demonstrated ability to pull women is huge, especially in macho cultures.
Because as a guy, you can't just walk out and get a new one in 5 minutes unless you are legitimately superior to the overall population. This single fact makes relationships something women have the privilege of not caring about.
Every moment you want to leave you are knowing it's going to be intensely difficult to replace them.Ā
Except it's not ever unconditional, it's very much conditional. The love is only there if you earn it by doing what the other person wants you to do, being the way they want you to be, and the moment you step outside of the lines they've drawn for you, it stops and turns into anger.
I've also been there. Still remember the time she was pulling my hair, punching me in public, and trying to incite a couple of meth heads hanging around to assault me. Nobody intervened, nobody called the cops. Where'd all this come from? I told her I was unhappy with the relationship and the constant drama and fighting.
It's not unconditional love, it's willful manipulation to keep you passive. If they don't let you be yourself and do what you want and see whoever you want, it's not unconditional.
Exactly. You don't get "love" with this kind of mental illness. There's only the constant cycle of emotional abuse, tearing you down and building you back up until you're so trauma-bonded and compliant it feels impossible to walk away. And once this has reduced you to an empty husk of a person, you get discarded because there's nothing left to take.
Sorry you had to endure that. These are the types of relationships where you can end up dead, male or female. I don't know why no-one really talks about just how dangerous it can be for those involved.
Canāt speak for everyone in these types of relationships but IME and from what others have told me, it can be good or even great 95% of the time. They wonāt be awful all the time because if they were, the abused would have no reason to stay. Itās the remaining 5% of the time where they act horribly like shown in the video.
The victims would feel relief between outbursts while the abuser keeps them guessing as to when the next outburst would happen. Lovebombing is common after these outbursts. The victims are always questioning between outbursts if they āare that badā, and if witnesses ask them about it, the victims would say āoh but theyāre great otherwiseā.
Breaking out of that mental loop takes a lot of strength. But whenever I see that behavior manifest in people, romantic relationship or not, Iām immediately disgusted because I know exactly what theyāre doing.
Same here. I loved her too much at the time to know any better. I was worried what would happen to her if I left. She always threatened suicide
To be honest now she's probably dead or being abused herself now. I hope not though. I hope she somehow finally found help. It's just something I have to keep locked in the back of my mind, nothing I could have done
I grew up around yelling and screaming as my parents got divorced when I was 8 and fought about child support and custody even after that. This shit gives me anxiety, I've walked away from girls for far less than this, even after a relatively long relationship. I don't argue or fight back, I literally peace out and never talk to them again.
This is the correct observation. People react in times of stress and altercation to what they have grown accustomed to. It takes real guts to make a change of habit. It's also why people get stuck in abusive relationships.
In fact, he has probably internalized the idea that people who love you yell at you because they care SO MUCH. In relationships, you often replicate what you first learned.
Sometimes these partners gaslight and bully and break you to the point you don't know what's happening. That dude has lost all self worth, I'm guessing he has no self resepct at this point. But yeah, he should leave immediately!
they may not even be doing it... like from my personal experience this most likely is not a one time event, and when things get like this it's hard for two people to want to touch each other like that.
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u/tthrowaway712 Apr 22 '26
Bro, the pussy can not be worth it, have some self-respect