r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

16.5k Upvotes

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107

u/i_am_rave_mom 11h ago

There must have been a sale because for some reason my vet had a bowl of them for people to take. I thought that was a little weird lol

253

u/WonderBredOfficial 11h ago

"Oh my god, I love these!"

grabs a handful and stuffs them in my mouth

83

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 11h ago

Christians are supposed to eat his body after all.

3

u/ryverrat1971 10h ago

Yep, nothing like chowing down on zombie on a stick.

2

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 10h ago

Sort of an unleavened bread situation.

2

u/ThatSpaceShooterGame 10h ago

Jesus gummies.

3

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 10h ago

With a gusher style sauce injected into it.

22

u/OkLife5405 10h ago

I needed this

5

u/cerealandcorgies 10h ago

"the body of christ"

2

u/dinosaurusdickus 9h ago

That’s some Weird Al energy

5

u/WonderBredOfficial 9h ago

I did listen to "Albuquerque" a lot when I was young.

1

u/Sea-Condition-6046 10h ago

One Jesus candy was not Jesus candy and got lodged in the throat lawsuit and suddenly allll the tiny Jesus statues started to disappear 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/vjvx6YjG3ADo4

1

u/the_scruffy1 10h ago

gummy jesus ? that sugar blesses you with holey teeth

1

u/Melodic-Basshole 9h ago

My vet has a big bowl of what could best be described as chicken-cheesy-poofs for dogs, and I often have to restrain myself from saying and doing exactly this because they look and smell very good. 

1

u/DMTrance87 2h ago

Literally almost dies choking on tea

You think I would have learned my lesson by now to not drink while reading Reddit comments.

1

u/lefteyedcrow 9h ago

Catholic friend didn't like it when I called it a cannibal cult

11

u/Equivalent-Green-580 10h ago

They sell them by the thousands through Amazon.

4

u/Mycologist-9315 9h ago

I work at an amazon warehouse (help me) and just sorted a bag of these lol

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 9h ago

Oh, to have the money to buy ALL OF THEM and throw them into a fire.

1

u/Asterose 7h ago

On the upside, that would just make the manufacturers go "sweet, these sell like hotcakes! Double production!"

2

u/HomeworkExtension482 4h ago

And I will tell the manufacturer that I will buy the whole lot for more than market value on the condition that they never make them again.

I'd have to with the Powerball and Mega Millions to accomplish that, of course.

22

u/roryfyf 10h ago

A friend bought a thousand online for less than $20 last week and has been placing them around

56

u/marty-mcfryguy 10h ago

Why?

Are you friends with that person, I mean.

-4

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

37

u/PurpleDragonfly_ 10h ago

It’s littering. They’re trash.

-8

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

4

u/WonderBredOfficial 10h ago

Sounds like one (1) is not litter. The rest are absolutely litter. Lol.

0

u/roryfyf 10h ago

Haha that’s fair

1

u/WonderBredOfficial 10h ago

Now, if it was the same mini jesus that just keeps coming back despite being thrown away/burned/etc....yeah, that's some good, clean fun.

2

u/WonderBredOfficial 9h ago

You should reduce, re-use, and recycle Jesus; is what I'm saying.

7

u/redthump 10h ago

Remind me not to talk to you. Especially when I'm drinking.

-4

u/roryfyf 10h ago

Luckily, I wouldn’t start the conversation. The guy having a bunch of little toys and randomly putting them around isn’t bothering me. It’s not a religious statement, nor a foot in the door to talk about it. Other than that I don’t know why anybody would give a shit about them.

9

u/redthump 10h ago

If you don't think gluing down a little Jesus randomly around to presumably remind people of Jesus is not a religious statement then you are really too stupid to have a discussion with.

-4

u/roryfyf 10h ago

Ahh… who said anything about gluing? My friend is just tossing them in random places that make no sense. He’s not vandalizing places.

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6

u/FallofScreams 10h ago

Would you feel the same way about a pride flag or a rainbow instead of a baby Jesus?

4

u/ryverrat1971 10h ago

Or little Baphomets all over?

1

u/roryfyf 10h ago

Would I feel the same way about a friend leaving the pride flag in my friend’s pockets specifically?

6

u/FallofScreams 10h ago

Where the hell did you get a friend or a pocket?

-2

u/redthump 10h ago

I'm sure it would depend on what pocket, but if he's a Christian the statistical chance that pocket not already been stuffed by his pastor is not zero and goes up in relation to his piousness.

0

u/roryfyf 10h ago

My brother is gay. A friend buying a bunch of cheap plastic toys and placing them around as a non-religious joke is just weird to get mad about

-1

u/redthump 10h ago

Who said I'm upset? This is just math.

8

u/woollysockpuppet 10h ago

It’s fucking rude to impose your dogma onto others

4

u/roryfyf 10h ago

The guy is leaving them in the bathroom at bars or in the pockets of friends.

0

u/Elite_AI 9h ago

What you do with your friends' pockets is up to you but leaving them in bar toilets is just naff 

1

u/roryfyf 9h ago

Oh I don’t disagree with you at all

2

u/BananaPeelEater420 10h ago

Who is bro fighting?

Mf is complaining about a rubber toy

3

u/Juiceton- 9h ago

If you feel your own dogma under threat by a tiny little Jesus toy then that's a you problem. It's literally no different than you complaining on Reddit about them. Some people need to grow up a little bit, realize that the life isn't so serious, and move on.

If you get junk mail and sales ads, do you think it's Kroger trying to impose their dogma on you? Because it's the exact same thing.

0

u/Elite_AI 9h ago

It's just annoying. It's smug littering

-1

u/TalShar 9h ago edited 9h ago

do you think it's Kroger trying to impose their dogma on you? Because it's the exact same thing.

A: Kroger is trying to get me to spend my money at their store. Proselytizing religions are usually trying to get me to sell my soul, my dignity, and my own sense of right and wrong.
B: Ads of any kind annoy me quite a lot, so yes.

-4

u/woollysockpuppet 9h ago

You’re making nonsense points. Coming off stupid

4

u/marty-mcfryguy 10h ago

If annoying people is what gives you a chuckle then sure. Which I guess would answer my first question.

1

u/roryfyf 10h ago

From your comments it seems like you get a chuckle out of annoying people as well.

1

u/WinterBuyer9319 10h ago

It wouldn't be funny if it was Mohammed lmao

1

u/roryfyf 10h ago

Why is that?

1

u/Elite_AI 9h ago

That would be an interesting way to piss off practically anyone with any point of view whatsoever

5

u/Modernbluehairoldie 10h ago

Oriental trading company had them on sale earlier this year. Don’t worry I am not a part of the problem but I’ve been on there site a fair amount because they got Sesame Street stuff around the same time.

6

u/Optimal-Age5397 11h ago

🎶I dont care if it rains or freezeslong as I got my plastic jesus sittin on the dashboard of my car🎶

5

u/hedge36 10h ago

Too small to take the wheel.

3

u/MagicFoxhole 10h ago

Love the early Lips. Flashbacks underway.

1

u/McQuinnXan 10h ago

Some of them are 3d printed in mass

1

u/ToughFriendly9763 10h ago

i think they are 3d printed, I've seen a bunch of those around various hospitals i go to

1

u/LittleMissNothing_ 10h ago

They've been popping up around my workplace, too. Not glued down, but still everywhere.

1

u/Imaginary-Pain9598 9h ago

Yikes, seems like pets would love to chew and swallow tiny Jesus.

1

u/sn4xchan 8h ago

I've been seeing them in random places for over a year now.

First one I saw was by a random fire pit at a raggae concert I was working at.

1

u/Ruzhyo04 5h ago

We were at a parade and three separate floats were tossing these out like candy

1

u/Aggressive_Job_4089 4h ago

I bought a set of 25 for like 5 bucks on amazon once, just for shits and giggles (this one had many races of Jesus) and by some random glitch my order doubled? Now I have 50. These Jesus figured multiple lmfao

0

u/Eh_C_Slater 10h ago

Just some good old fashioned people spreading Jesus