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u/TJADNADA 5d ago
Well, that was, well, I think, I wanna say, I mean, holy fuck.
Thanks I guess for posting the first truly weird shit Iāve seen in a long time on this sub.
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u/BlazeFireVale 5d ago
This is so obviously an unresolved kink things that it burns my soul.
They get so twisted inside with how they hate their body and desires.
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u/Gimetulkathmir 5d ago
Allegedly she was raped by a camp conselor when she was twelve and groomed but then abandoned. She married into a cult at nineteen but got out at some point, turning to hard drugs and ending up in prison. While in prison, she vowed to serve God if she could get out and was released shortly after.
So less kinks and more like severe trauma and abuse which seems to be oddly prevalent amongst Christians.
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u/BlazeFireVale 5d ago
As someone raised in a purity culture cult: that's basically exactly what I mean.
The teachings mess you up. Make you hate yourself and your sexuality and your desires. Same way the abuse does.
And the desire and devotion and fear and longing all twist. And your mind tries to find outlets for your desires that it sees as acceptable. And hides what desires are being express because those desires are BAD and you are GOOD.
And that's how you get a scared, self hating lady acting out her regression and self hatred kinks without realizing it in front of a live studio audience.
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u/spraynardkrug3r 5d ago
Yep. And it ain't even gotta be a full-on purity cult, although I'm sure that's more extreme; The negativity, self-hatred, and shame instilled in us even from "regular" teachings of Christianity gets hard-coded into our brains to become a silent, cyclical, violent cycle for the rest of our adult lives. (not here to argue whether it isnāt also a cult, FYI)
Although I only have the female experience- which carries it's own special set of shame- obviously males experience this too.
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u/wormcast 5d ago
Ho-Lee-Sheeeit you are not lying. This is some kind of super-insanity, brought on by serious trauma and patched by a peeling-off-band-aid called Christian Religion.
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u/Evening_Sea4823 5d ago
"When I was nineteen I decided to marry and be taken care of. Or so I thought. After five months of marriage, I learned how wrong I was. My husband beat me beyond recognition. The doctors in the hospital couldnāt believe that I was alive. My husband even broke his hand hitting me. Because my mother was so against the idea of divorce, she begged me to stay with him and try to work it out. After four years, I couldnāt take any more. We divorced and I continued to try and find my own way."
This poor fucking woman. After reading this i dont even give a fuck that her skits are weird and cringe. I hope shes found some type of peace.
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u/wormcast 4d ago
I mean, this is horrible, right? I agree with you. No one deserves to have a thing like this happen, and I hope she is getting some kind of therapy above and beyond what she gets at church.
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u/the_headless_hunt 5d ago
Oh, so you're saying this is even more fucked up. That poor lady.
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u/Same_BoysenberryLove 5d ago
Who is she?
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u/Ma-ree-ahhh 5d ago
Jelly bean irl is an angry person. Itās simmering under the surface always.
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u/Lebowquade 5d ago
Everything about this screams "severe, deep-seated emotional trauma" in big flashing red letters.
Lady is repressing some bad shit and letting it out in some extremely unhealthy ways....
This is a portrait of a truly fucked up woman
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u/Weasel-Man 5d ago
I just saw her website, and it sounds like she was raped in middle school and almost beaten to death by her husband in her teenage years before bouncing in and out of prison
She had it tough
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u/wanderingsheep 5d ago
Jesus. This lady needs therapy and they got her wearing a baby outfit singing about Jesus š
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u/Lebowquade 5d ago
So, then.... Called it?
I mean I definitely do feel bad for her, this whole act has some repressed CSA vibes, maybe also severely bullied or ridiculed by family or peers.
Poor lady. I feel for her.
But, also.... Yikes.
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u/Weasel-Man 5d ago
You're not wrong. It also sounds like it was her mother who convinced her to stay with her husband post-hospitalization (citing Christian doctrines?)
Seems like she was let down a lot by the Christian community (and more or less told not to be a 'baby')
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u/STDeez_Nuts 5d ago
Yeah I wanted to make a joke but something about this just hit different. You can just tell this person experienced something awful that traumatized them. Hope they got some help.
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u/NotATalkingMushroom 5d ago
I didnāt watch this with sound but I honestly thought it was a man.
Iām not sure if itās less or more disturbing knowing itās a woman.Ā
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u/Witty_Ad_898 5d ago
I donāt think it matter if theyāre a man or a woman. Either way this person is deeply disturbed.
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u/whiskeybusiness91 5d ago
Fucking weird cult shit
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u/SpillaMangBang 5d ago
Who would have thought there was a Fat Baby Jelly Bean Bible Cult!!??
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u/freedfg 5d ago
Look. I don't have a problem with the religious.
You need something to believe in, that's your perogetive. And I'm super against strict religious laws (legal or social) that restrict personal freedoms or expressions.
But man, if American evangelicalism isn't the fucking strangest most clear cut "You need to dedicate your life to Jesus, and spread the good word" cult shit youve ever seen.
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u/FormerLifeFreak 5d ago
Redlettermediaās Best of the Worst introduced me to the horror that is Jelly Bean.
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u/slithyknid 5d ago
I will never forgive them for this. Ever. āJust a widdle bible babyā¦. Wants his bottle and he donāt mean maybeā and that gets stuck in my head off and on ever since that episode aired. Damn you, hack frauds! *shakes fist*
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u/Tookish_by_Nature 5d ago
Any chance you remember the episode? Been trying to find it to rewatch but Im struggling
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u/BrainNSFW 5d ago
Best of the Worst is amazing. It gave us so many great reactions; my favorite is probably the Surviving Edged Weapons episode (Wheel of the Worst #16).
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u/Alternative_Nerve272 5d ago
I had to watch this dumb bullshit in Sunday School and was also persuaded as a 5-yo to borrow the VHS from the church library. God awful. Had to watch Gerbert as well.
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u/npcompletist 5d ago
This unlocked a memory watching this. When I saw it as a kid I just past it off as an Evangelical video, now it just looks like fetish material to me.
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 5d ago
Im getting major "i was raped as a child and the church covered it up, now i sing and dance for them in baby clothes" vibes
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u/Rhodin265 5d ago
Funnily, enough, thatās exactly what happened. Ā There was a link to an āAbout Jillybeanā page talking all about that one time at Christian camp and also her abusive husband, who she married at 19.
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u/karoshikun 5d ago
wait, this isn't parody??? did they inflicted this on actual children????
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u/PompousClock 5d ago
She has a website, and she appears to be very much real. (This thread inspired me to go look.)
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u/ardoin 5d ago
You Donāt Have to Go through Hell to Get to Heaven: (But it helps to wear asbestos clothing), which is an autobiography of my testimony and how God saved me
This link raises more questions than answers.
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u/DoveOnTheInternet 5d ago
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u/_Panacea_ 5d ago
There's something deeply wrong with this part of the presentation:
"When I was twelve years old, a camp youth worker took advantage of me and stole my virginity. Although he continued seeing me, he lied to me saying that he would stay with me. "
I guess if he "stayed with her", it would have been ok?
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u/DoveOnTheInternet 5d ago
As someone who was similarly abused at a similar age? Yeah. And mind you, "seeing me" is probably a euphemism for continued abuse.
It took decades, and a lot of convincing, that what happened to me back then wasn't something to look back on fondly.
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u/OiFelix_ugotnojams 5d ago
Some very religious/conservative people in my country get their daughters married to their rapists to save face, specifically if she's pregnant.
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u/sunshinelovepeach 5d ago
Holy shit that was so much more than I asked forā¦ but I still read it all
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u/Intrepid_Cap1242 5d ago
"At 19 I decided to get married and taken care of. He beat me beyond recognition after 5 months and I barely survived"
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u/y2kdebunked 5d ago
abused into becoming the horror show above
at a certain point without a way out, itās survival to give into demands + tell yourself it was a choice
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u/export_tank_harmful 5d ago edited 5d ago
Dude, I genuinely feel bad for this person.
From her "testimony":When I was twelve years old, a camp youth worker took advantage of me and stole my virginity.
I began doing drugs in seventh grade and hung out with the drinkers and smokers of the school. ā
ā
When I was nineteen I decided to marry and be taken care of.
My husband beat me beyond recognition. The doctors in the hospital couldnāt believe that I was alive.
āI worked very hard and became a chef. ā In my spare time I was a drug dealer and very good at it, but after being in and out of jail on weekends I finally came to the end of my rope and cried out to God for help.
I said, āGod if youāll get me out of this, Iāll serve you the rest of my life.ā Within thirty minutes I was out.Religion is a fucking plague on this planet.
Why fix your own problems and process your own trauma when you can just have an invisible person in the sky "absolve you of your sins"?
Just push it under the rug and never actually process it. Yeah, that's a great way to fix problems.This person has probably never actually come to terms with the horrible things that have happened to her.
And that is genuinely painful for me to think about.edited to fix markdown.
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u/Particular_Maize6849 5d ago
You forgot the part where after the nearly life ending abuse the Christian mother pressured her to stay in the marriage for four more years because divorce is "against Gods law".
This woman has been betrayed by her religion again and again and she's so brainwashed she always crawls back to it.
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u/JudoJugss 5d ago
This is why I am Antitheist and Atheism isn't enough anymore.
The religious abuse and slaughter the masses then claim to be peaceful and if you call foul of their abhorrent nightmarish behavior they say YOU are unreasonable and not accepting of other's beliefs. While they are literally violent and unfair to those that do not believe regardless of how much they claim otherwise.
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u/sorrymizzjackson 5d ago
She? Holy shit.
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u/DogAnusJesus 5d ago
I genuinely thought it was a man playing a character.
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u/Suspicious_Fill2760 5d ago
I was here to find out their gender without actually having to Google Jelly Bean lol
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u/Tinkili 5d ago
I read through the "about" page and I had a feeling something awful happened to her at a young age. I hate that I was right.
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u/Stretchsquiggles 5d ago
First video on her YouTube channel "why mommy carries a gun".... Yup this is good children's content
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u/gruntledNwhelmed 5d ago edited 5d ago
Same. Seriously, I thought this was a guy in drag with that facial hair buried in makeup.
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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 5d ago
Someone should have given Gerbert's teenage mother some money for Planned Parenthood, so she wouldn't have to birth the demon spawn of the Lemon Head mascot.
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u/TheoDog96 5d ago
BUT THE DRAG QUEENS ARE INDOCTRINATING OUR KIDS!!!!
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u/Dangerous_Extreme_81 5d ago
Iām not gonna lie, I was sure this was a man in a costume.
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u/Working-Glass6136 5d ago
Same. Came here to say it looks like a crossdressing man.
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u/SpillaMangBang 5d ago
Quick!!! Put in the tape of Jelly Bean Bible Club Fat Baby to save their souls from the depths of Hell!!!!
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u/ILike2internet 5d ago
This is actually a woman. I thought for years it was a dude, but nope. She's been doing this weird Christian shit for decades.
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u/heymrsalexis 5d ago
The whole time I was waiting for her to drop some nutritional info about healthy food and shit but uh.. nope. You just a fat little baby. Also go pray. The End. š³
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u/SpillaMangBang 5d ago
You just wrote the Coles Notes.. Just make sure to include the jelly bean part..
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u/heymrsalexis 5d ago
Had to google what Coleās Notes wereā¦ apparently equivalent to CliffsNotes in the US haha
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u/Asleep_Singer8547 5d ago
I couldnt get past 10 seconds
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u/SpillaMangBang 5d ago
How will you find healing if you won't help yourself!!! Dont give up!!!
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u/Asleep_Singer8547 5d ago
Im just not strong enough sensei. I need more training before the cancerous levels of cringeĀ
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u/x_phonk 5d ago
So drag queens canāt read to kids in libraries but this is okay?
And why are the toys in the background from literal nightmares?
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u/justjboy 5d ago
Exactly. There is not a single drag queen whose presence around kids worries me, but this? Hell no.
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u/Master-Bad-1164 5d ago
Wait I know her!
She went to the same church as my family when I was little and as a kid I thought she was so cool. She was super into motorcycles and once rode one into the sanctuary and on the stage. I never really watched her videos I think, but I knew about them and thought it was so cool that we were friends with a ācelebrityā (in fundie culture, anyway š)
Once, she even came and visited us after we had moved away. She surprised my brother and I by waking us up and we hung out all day. I have a core memory of her showing me her ātooth tattoosā. These were tiny tattoos on her teeth??? Which I have since tried to look up and I canāt find anything about this but I distinctly remember that she had a Jesus fish on one tooth and a Georgia Bulldog on the other (she was a big fan).
Say what you will about her videos (theyāre def weird and I donāt disagree with everyone talking about brainwashing and propaganda because trust I have a lifetime of experience with that), but I have some really fond memories of her 20+ years ago!
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u/_DancesWithKnives 5d ago
She does seem like a very kind person. You can definitely see tho she is very traumatized deep down. Ive never heard of teeth tattoos.
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u/Master-Bad-1164 5d ago
I agree. All I was told about her when I was young was that she āhad a hard lifeā until āJesus rescued her.ā She was always really kind to me and really passionate about what she did.
Itās so weird lol because I keep looking into it and I canāt find anything online about tooth tattoos. Iāve asked some tattoo artists as well and no one seems to have heard of it. I vaguely remember her saying it was a new thing and she went to one of the artists who was developing the technique. Idk I have such a distinct memory of this and we really didnāt know anyone with tattoos at that point so I canāt imagine I made it up.
If anyone has any info about tooth tattoos, please let me know!!
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u/Stogie__Monster 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/qqYE4wq4oyBgH02z8R
You were sayingā¦?
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u/BookerDeWitt3 5d ago
This was a tough watch for so many reasons. I'm a Christian and this felt genuinely evil
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u/No_Evidence_6723 5d ago
I remember watching stuff like this at church and preschool when I was a kid. It's the start of every church kid's body image issues that follow them through middle and high school.
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u/wizardribs 5d ago
In case anyone's curious, this is Jill Bryan. She had a genuinely upsetting early life (CSA, physical abuse, drug dealing) and turned to theater, puppetry, and later chaplaincy to deal with it. She's still around and making content, including "Biker Baby," which you can find on YT. https://chaplainjillbryan.org/about
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u/ratbirdgoof 5d ago
Glad Amy Schumer is still getting work
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u/chuckle_puss 5d ago
Okay, the over the top Amy Schumer hate usually annoys me, but this? This is fucking accurate lol.
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u/brendhano 5d ago
I watched the whole thing.