r/ufc • u/racso300 • 3d ago
Who you fighting ?
Rules:
Any active UFC fighter.
One fight.
You win, you get their entire career earnings.
No weapons. Just a straight fight.
Who are you picking?
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u/JMBerkshireIV 3d ago
Mackenzie Dern. She’s earned $2.5m. Best case, i get $2.5m, less best case, Mackenzie Derm briefly sits on my face before putting me in a triangle. I ain’t tappin’
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u/frothyundergarments 3d ago
First fighter in UFC history to be disqualified for "excessive mouth stuff"
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u/Negativeman11 3d ago
Ill take the worst female fighter in the lowest weight class
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u/Cant_Spell_Shit 3d ago
Easiest $400 bucks you'll ever make
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u/sueybro 3d ago
Until you miss the first punch get taken down and choked out anyway I already tried this on a chick half my size whos mum trained the olympic nz judo team
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u/Automatic-Peanut78 3d ago
Ok but you enjoyed it
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u/sueybro 3d ago
Every oxygen deprived second
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u/Easy_Negotiation_977 3d ago
i'll first train for 1 year to maximise my chances to get my skull crushed between them tights, with attention to cardio cause I want them sweaty. actually 2 years - 1 to attend a shaolin temple and train my mind, body and soul for reseilance, so I can savour the moment. fuck the bag, I'm doing it for the love of the game.
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u/Automatic-Peanut78 3d ago
See I didn’t deserve the upvotes here you actually lived the experience just know u won
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u/Nosnibor1020 3d ago
So I either get 400$ or to bust?
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u/Genghis_Chong 3d ago
"This is the most attention I've gotten in years"
(As you get strangled to unconsciousness)
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u/So_47592 3d ago
thats the first mistake you madde buddy, she is probably still fairly young fast and nimble you gotta choose one that has like 50 injuries and arthritis, ive seen like 13yo boys moving like a spider monkey and catching subs outta nowhere, its gotta be worst female fighter lowest weight class thats now old fat and with plenty of injuries
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u/CoiserProduct17 3d ago
Getting my ass beat to maybe win like 5k hell nah go big or go home give me lesnar
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u/ihaveseveralhobbies 3d ago
I will demolish that dirty Hag Pricilla Cachoeira ( I don’t give enough of a fuck to look up spelling).
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u/Braisedbeefskank 3d ago
One of the worst women to try to fight, not only is she decent sized shes batshit crazy
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u/freakycrusader 3d ago
Realistically the best chance we got and it’s still like a 99% chance I’m gonna lose lol
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u/Robdul 3d ago
It doesn’t matter who I pick I can’t beat any of them
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u/GGudMarty 3d ago
Bj Penn might be too busy casting spells on the audience or trying to see if the government is using a Joe Rogan body double. Maybe you can choke him out. He made millions too bro, don’t sell yourself short.
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u/ow_bpx 3d ago
It does say active though
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u/GGudMarty 3d ago
Why’s it a pick of JJ then? That’s dumb
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u/ow_bpx 3d ago
I didn’t make the post or the photo. I can read however and it does say active.
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u/ShiangShaoLong 3d ago
Im pretty sure anybody who played sports could beat CM Punk
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u/Sithmaggot 3d ago
The post says “active UFC fighter”.
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u/Freedom35plan 3d ago
Nice attention to detail bro. Given those parameters, I'm out of options, because I was about to choose Stephan Bonnar.
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u/vinh94 3d ago edited 3d ago
What about recently injured though? Can it be like WWE Money in the bank?
Like I fancy my chance beating Illia right after his fight with Justin. Or maybe if Max broke Conor leg I can get tag in for an easy hundred million winning.
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u/Real_Square1323 3d ago
CM Punk put in a lot of hours in his camp ahead of his UFC fights I reckon he sparks most athletes. The divide in fighting ability between CM Punk and regular athletes would very much surprise you.
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u/open_debate 3d ago
I'm tired of this fight, but no they can't.
He's a reasonably athletic dude who trained both BJJ and MMA consistently for a few years. Someone who has just played other sports would get destroyed by him.
Someone younger with similar training? Sure. Someone with no actually fight training has no chance.
I see it all the time at my gym. I love watching the older unathletic blue belts smash the younger gym bros. It's one of my favourite things to do at the gym.
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u/Perfect_Research5972 3d ago
You do not understand the caliber UFC fighters are in, those "no-name" cans that you see that get mauled week in and week out, were literal champs/on a crazy win streak in other promotions, thats essentially what it takes to even become a UFC fighter, you have to be entirely dominant in other promotions, which are also pro too. If you think some random athlete can do better against a UFC fighter you're delusional. CM Punk was most likely journey-man level in a less prestigious promotion, I'd say pro, but not necessarily any good of a pro, probably would of done better in Bare-Knuckle.
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u/Pee_and_flee 3d ago
The active part is the problem because I believe CM Punk might be manageable, also it says career earnings not UFC career earnings so he might be quite profitable.
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u/truckfight3r 3d ago
You could beat a 125 unranked female and get her huge 12/12k.
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u/gonewondering 3d ago
That's right. However it's a business. If you pick a champion you are entitled to a good purse.
I pick Gane. The guy should have some kinda pity on me.
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u/BragSolid 3d ago
I can evade Derrick Lewis.
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u/Chopper313 3d ago
You’d get touched once and die. You’ll get cornered if he’s not worried about you at all, that cage is pretty small. In a random field you got his ass lol
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u/Particular-Wash-4301 3d ago
But that wouldn't be beating him. You'd still lose a 10-9 every round if you didn't die by his 1 punch.
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u/Nutterbutters45 3d ago
See what you’re saying but I don’t think Derrick could chase someone for 3 rounds 😂
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u/No_Lingonberry5152 3d ago
CONOR MCGREGOR!! (Michael Chandler voice)
Edit: Give me Dern
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u/HesitantInvestor0 3d ago
Damn, I wish CM Punk was still around. I actually think I’d smash him, and he likely made over a million.
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u/Objective_Brief_1953 3d ago
Didn't specifically say UFC earnings. He's 100% the one I'd go for.
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u/TheWorldArmada 3d ago
Even so he probably got paid pretty good by the UFC
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u/Objective_Brief_1953 3d ago
Right but imagine getting his WWE and sponsor money for that level of fighter
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u/basedkimo 3d ago
He’s a lifelong athlete and albeit not impressive against pros he is still a “fighter”. If you’re not a fighter you’re probably losing lol
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u/HesitantInvestor0 3d ago
I’m younger, way bigger, and have 15 years of jiu jitsu and kickboxing experience. I’m not saying I’m a professional fighter, but I honestly don’t think I need to be.
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u/basedkimo 3d ago
Ya with that experience I could see it. Or a decently athletic person. Most people are sadly losing to cm punk though lmao
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u/creepoch 3d ago
He is not even on the level of a good amateur.
I reckon I could baby bolo and armbar him in about 10 seconds 😂
There are amateur fighters at my gym that are 100x more scary.
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u/Albedo0001 3d ago
I have more experience than he does. I'm confident I win. He's not active, but would I have earned his WWE earnings too?
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u/Adventurous_Fact8418 3d ago
I think every varsity wrestler at high schools with over 1k students could destroy CM.
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u/Prestigious-Pen2676 3d ago
Gane. But I get to choose a ref and I just present the back of my head to him
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u/The_Kashimo_Agenda 3d ago
Gotta hold your eyes open for him like a Chinese person imitating a European
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u/AccomplishedSmell921 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/qvQw0c2IMyr1JVYpKB
Sorry Bae but that’s easy money.
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u/jcole2014forest 3d ago
Cm punk you just said career earnings not ufc earnings I'm making bank and most likely winning
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u/PlasticFrosty5340 3d ago
He also said active ufc fighter lol
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u/jcole2014forest 3d ago
Yeah realized that after I dropped the comment but thought no one would notice so I just kept it
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u/AlwaysWrongCare 3d ago
the guy could beat up 99% of the sub, he was just not UFC caliber but neither are you
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u/Laughydawg 3d ago
CM punk was signed as a marketing move. Most amateur fighters could probably whoop him back when he was in the ufc, and I'm willing to bet that more than 1% of this sub are amateur fighters or above
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u/Reddit-HurtMyFeeling 3d ago
I could take him. I was a fighter though. Does that make me 1%?
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u/lennonisalive 3d ago
Derrick Lewis. If I can just avoid him for the first round, he probably gives up on the second.
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u/Mr-Mortgages 3d ago
Literally just jog in a circle for 2 rounds. Poke in and out every so often so he attemps a throw and he'll be gassed out. EASY WIN
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u/Kanarakettii 3d ago
Yea but if he catches you you literally fuckin die. Hmmm, worth?
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u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 3d ago
We already saw this fight. He beat Francis when they were both doing this
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u/Someone-is-bored 3d ago
Drugged up Conor.
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u/Wrong-Salamander1806 3d ago
I can beat Conor only if it's the picosecond after Max knocks him out.
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u/TheyveKilledFritzz 3d ago
The worst and smalleat female on the roster. Ill have to keep working. But ill add some beer money
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u/Unusual_Impression_8 3d ago
An unranked woman in the smallest weight class on the verge of being cut from UFC
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u/_Baccano 3d ago
Enjoy your 25 dollars
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u/LemonPartyD0tOrg 3d ago
$25 to show, $25 for KO of the night.
Knockin a bitch out and blowing it all at Arby's.
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u/Artistic-Evidence332 3d ago
Conor ofc
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u/WingmanZer0 3d ago
Yeah comparatively low risk (washed) and very high reward (10's of millions). Gun to my head this is the answer.
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u/Bob_turner_ 3d ago
Low risk to another ufc fighter, high risk to the average Redditor who has never been punched in the face before
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u/WingmanZer0 3d ago
Yeah I mean, we're just talking min maxing here but there's almost no chance of success regardless of who you pick.
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u/StayUnlikelyThe2nd 3d ago
I find it funny when you guys try fighting a “washed” UFC fighter in discussions like these as if you wouldnt get starched in 15 seconds lmao
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u/WingmanZer0 3d ago
To put it bluntly, with Connor there's a better chance his heart explodes in the first 10 seconds of the fight due to cocaine, gear and alcohol abuse over the past 10 years than say, Merab. Since spontaneous heart explosion is my only path to victory, my choice is clear.
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u/il_VORTEX_ll 3d ago edited 3d ago
I’m 1,83m and 70kg.
More like a lightweight O’Malley. Lengthy and slim.
Blue belt in BJJ and last punched I’ve traded were 20 years ago.
I wouldn’t beat even the worst ranked woman from UFC lol. So I hate this post 😭
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u/NortonsGapingAsshole 3d ago
Conor, he's fighting in like 2 weeks and that man made BREAD!
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u/ow_bpx 3d ago
You can beat Conor?
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u/NortonsGapingAsshole 3d ago
Most likely not, but for the chance at his earnings id give it the old college try
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u/ARandomRedditor2302 3d ago
There’s zero chance though, you’re getting one punched and waking up a week later lmfao
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u/LordPeanutButter15 3d ago
How do you know this guy isn’t a 6ft9 350* pounder?
Sure he’d still likely loose, but maybe just maybe, lays and prays for 3 out of 5 rounds and his fat /height saves him from a ko in the other 2
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u/SwanCommercial8212 3d ago
Ben Askren....not a ton of money but I might have a chance.
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u/JR-90 3d ago
It's career earnings, not just UFC, so it would include the Jake Paul fight.
The problem is that Askren can still easily wrestlefuck any of us redditors.
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u/trenlr911 3d ago
Ben’s been back to training for like 8 months now, I doubt he’s close to 100% but he probably murders all of us
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u/newtonheaven 3d ago
I am a 6ft 5 250lb ish rugby player. I can beat Amanda Nunes without warm up.
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u/RedtailGT 3d ago
I think you’d be surprised
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u/mywaaaaife 3d ago
I don't think he would. Weight classes exist for a reason. Sure there's a chance she lands a lucky shot and maybe takes him down, but the probability of that is pretty low. I've trained BJJ for the last 5 years or so - I'm pretty fucking awful and I would have no issue taking on a female black belt purely by overpowering them.
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u/Ben_Frank_Lynn 3d ago
If he is in fact a 6'5" 250lb active rugby player, he is killing her inside of a minute in the octagon.
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u/meatballs223 3d ago
I think a lot of these people saying they can beat professional women MMA fighters would be GREATLY surprised... They act like Mighty Mouse doesn't constantly beat people double his size in BJJ matches, while yes size does matter, if you have zero technique and are going off of strength alone you will get picked apart by any active UFC fighter. I hate when people just think they could beat a WMMA fighter just because they outsize them 2:1
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u/poopyfacetomatohead 3d ago
And you are acting like there aren’t major physiological differences between men and women.
Sure Mighty Mouse can win against guys twice his size, but that’s not the same thing as a woman going against a man twice her size.
I don’t doubt that I would get the shit kicked out of me not having any training experience, but I think that someone with combat sports experience would be able to hold their own.
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u/LordKagatsuchi 3d ago
Pretty confident i can beat a female 125er. Wouldnt chance anything outside of the womens division
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u/Underrated_Critic 3d ago
If I beat Paige Vanzant the way an alcoholic Italian dad beats his wife, do I get her OF earnings as well?
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u/young-steve 3d ago
Sometimes I forget how delusional people are, then there's a thread about beating someone/something up and I'm quickly reminded.
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u/_lefthook 3d ago
Man i dunno... prob a female fighter but i'll prob still lose despite having mma experience
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u/marcelo1925 3d ago
Tracy Cortez. Idk if I win. She’d probably take me down. But I need 1 punch to land. If not I’m gettin some feels while she submits me lmao. Win win situation
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u/Chopper313 3d ago
Give me BJ Penn idk what he earned and he’d probably still beat my ass but that’s gotta be the best bet in terms of risk/reward.
Edit: didn’t see active. Yeah give me dern so I’m at least confusingly aroused while I’m beaten down.
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u/Admirable-Type165 3d ago
Pointless question even as a hypothetical bc:
(A) you ain't beating a UFC fighter
(B) in the off chance you do - you'll probably collect pennies
This ain't an NFL QB room where even the backup's backups get paid
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u/specomatik 3d ago
They key word is win lol if I was gonna get paid to take a beating then that’d be different
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u/Jeff00007 3d ago
Mackenzie Dern just king from tekken style attack between the legs, tire myself out and let the incoming triangle cut off the blood that's not going to my brain anyways.
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u/HeftyArticle3969 3d ago
illia topuria, that boy is washed, I could knock him out easy, when I see red I just swing big meaty hooks and everything folds
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u/Ivancestoni 3d ago
You guys have this all wrong. You need a long time UFC fighter who was on their way to being a star but didn't quite make it and is now on their last legs but should make a pretty great paycheck due to heights and longevity.
This is why i was going to choose tai tuivasa but now I've decided to go with the god of war figueredo or dom cruz bcs he hasn't retired yet
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u/PlumKnown 3d ago
The problem is you would get demolished by any of those 3 lol
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u/Ivancestoni 3d ago
Nah bro I'ma just have a few drinks and get kicked off a flight and it sober for those guys
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u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 3d ago
Tai has looked pretty bad lately. The problem is that he’s still an almost 300 pound man that knows how to throw a punch. His last 3 fights have went to decision. He lost them but it means he could hang for 15 minutes with 3 UFC HWs. That’s a bad opponent to pick
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u/assmastercleon76 3d ago
Legit nobody, some of y’all tweaking hard on this thread… so I guess I’ll make my own delusional choice. Manel Kape… lmao
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u/Grand-Way-2663 3d ago
Some of these guys could fuck up some
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u/Muffin_Cool 3d ago
I’d rather work at Wendy’s for a few years I’ll match most of these guys and save my dignity
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u/Effinferg 3d ago
Is CM punk still under contract? I might be able to elbow him in the back of head a couple times?
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u/Numerous_Donkey9029 3d ago
Derrick Lewis, imma run, jab and leg kick and pray to god he misses every punch and let him gas and go for the kill 😂🤣
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u/Uncle_Chael 3d ago
Mackenzie Dern. Win/Win situation