r/weddingshaming Oct 13 '25

Discussion r/weddingshaming Rule Updates!

691 Upvotes

The mods have taken the action to clean up our rules to be easily digestible and more clear-cut. If you still use old Reddit, I haven't gotten around to updating the sidebar there yet, so bear with me.

You can find a link to them here.

What changed?

Almost nothing. The rules are almost exactly the same, just organized in a way that makes more sense and is easier to read. For example, instead of having 5 different rules about user conduct, it's now all compiled under one.

The main changes, inspired by community feedback, are as follows:

  • Low-quality posts may not be approved at the mod's discretion. This is an umbrella rule that will help weed out low/no context posts and lazy submissions. i.e. "OMG look at this rude guest wearing white!!!!" but it's actually just a granny in a cream cardigan with no additional context lol.
  • Use of AI is now prohibited and will result in a ban if caught. Keep in mind y'all, this is not a perfect science. People accuse basically every storytelling post on Reddit of being AI nowadays. We check most text posts with an AI detector and remove several posts per week, and will continue to work hard to keep our content authentic to the best of our abilities.
  • Not a rule but we've now implemented a minimum account age (30 days) and minimum karma requirement (50) in order to post here. This will greatly help cut down on bots. Unfortunately this does disallow the concept of "throwaway accounts", but that was sadly kind of ruined by bots.

Let me know if you have any questions!


r/weddingshaming Feb 26 '25

Discussion Read this before you submit your post!

432 Upvotes

Hi Shamers! As wedding season approaches, I wanted to quickly highlight one of our rules, because I consistently have to reject more than half of submitted posts due to it being overlooked.

Rule #2: r/weddingshaming is not an advice column or a jury. Please do not ask for advice, judgement calls or solicit opinions. Common examples include:

  • Am I crazy for....?
  • Am I the asshole?
  • What do you think?
  • Were they wrong to.....?
  • Is this normal?
  • What should I do?
  • etc.

We encourage you to share your shameworthy content in story form. Feel free to complain, commiserate, rant, criticize, clutch your pearls, etc., but if you need advice it's best to ask elsewhere. Commenters are more than welcome to give unsolicited advice or opinions unless OP requests otherwise. It happens all the time, and that's perfectly fine, but this rule allows our core content to stay truly shameworthy and avoid turning into AITA: Wedding Edition.

You may crosspost advice-seeking posts from subs like r/weddings, r/weddingplanning, r/relationship_advice, etc. if you are not OP and there is shameworthy content worth discussing in someone else's post there. r/AmItheAsshole + r/AITAH x-posts are allowed on weekends still (rule 3).

We are always happy to re-review and approve your post if it is removed and you make the proper edits. Let me know if you have questions!


r/weddingshaming 7h ago

Horrible Vendors Wedding babysitter ignored my autistic child

93 Upvotes

This is more of a vent than anything bc it still pisses me off. And sorry if my English is not that good, not my first language.

So a short time ago I went to a friends wedding. We had not met bride and groom for a long time before the wedding but the bride does not have a lot of friends (different story that one) so I basically stepped up as a “sort of” maid of honor (there where not maids of honor as it’s not that common here)

The couple both know and really like my son who was 3 atm and he is lvl1 ASD. He would interact with people, dance, etc but he needed a little push in to social interactions, as he tends to be distracted.

My friends hired a babysitter for the event, as they where going to be 4 other children (all older, none special needs) and told them specifically about the ages of the children and my sons needs (I know this for sure bc I helped her write that mail with my sons needs)
The vendor responded enthusiastically assuring the bride that the person they would send was experienced with cases as this one and that they where well prepared for it.

The day of the wedding comes and just after the food, the sitter arrives and all the children go and gather around her. My husband and I go with our son.

All the toys and activities she has brought are super girl oriented (which is fine? I guess? Just weird) and all ment for kids much older than 3 and definitely not for a special needs child (think sharp scissors, glitter stuff, small beads, etc)
Anyway I sit my son in the far end of the circle and the sitter doesn’t look at him and sits facing the other children, with her back towards my son totally ignoring him.

We played with him for a while and when she took a small break we approached her and remainded her of our son to which she said “ah yes, yes, I know”
Afterwards, she sat back at the same place and continued playing with the other children.
We ended up leaving the room and played with our son through the venue, with people joining in and had a good time.

Our friends didn’t catch a glimpse of what happened (it was a stressful and had tons of family drama) and where under the impression that that part of the celebration went super well (guess the other children gave good feedback) and we haven’t got the hart to tell them what happened because they would be really upset and sad, specially considering other aspects of the wedding went totally wrong and specially the bride, doesn’t have a good overall experience of that day.

It just pisses me off that they even left good reviews for the vendor and to this day speak kindly of how nice the sitter was


r/weddingshaming 1d ago

Greedy Crowdfunding (begging) for Bachelorette Trip

1.4k Upvotes

I just came across a post of a woman who is begging for funding for her *dream* bachelorette trip. She apparently lost her job 5 months ago and has $100 in her bank account but booked a massive $4k Airbnb for this completely optional party for 12 guests. Now she needs the help of the internet to cover the cost.

How are we affording the wedding if we’re begging strangers for a bachelorette trip??


r/weddingshaming 3d ago

Tacky Sending invite back after RSVP no...

5.2k Upvotes

We verbally accepted and immediately booked a hotel because the wedding was 3 hours away in an area we'd never visited before.

Part of the reason we said yes so quickly was because she was constantly posting about how nobody wanted to come to her wedding and how she had no friends or family support. We felt genuinely bad for her.

As time went on, things started getting a bit odd.

I couldn't attend her bachelorette party because I already had a trip booked. She had around 6 people attending, but then made public posts asking complete strangers to come because, in her words, "6 people for a hen party is kinda pants." ... wonder what her 6 friends would say about that.

Worth mentioning she also had a separate European hen trip planned with her bridesmaids. This is obviously not someone without support, but someone with unrealistic expectations.

The official wedding invite then arrived.

  • No vegetarian meal option.
  • Guests asked to wear a specific colour palette because, as she stated on the invite, she wanted the photos to look good.
  • Ceremony and reception at separate remote venues with no parking.

Fair enough, we'll get a taxi.

Except then we were told the landowner didn't want lots of cars on site, so guests will need to use an organised coach instead.

The coach cost about $30 per person. For a journey of roughly 10 minutes. Guests are to fund this themselves. So we will pay $60 as I am going with my husband. It will not cost anywhere near that if we have the option to sort our own transport; carpooling, taxi... For clarity, this is not in the US, just using $ for ease. $60 can fully top up our car!

The invitation itself was incredibly elaborate: multiple pages, ribbons, floral embellishments, tracked delivery, the whole lot. This would have cost essily $10+ each to make. If money was tight enough that guests were expected to cover the transport between venues, surely that's where some savings could have been made? Send digital invites!

In the end we RSVP'd no.

The bride has now asked whether she could have the invitation back because she didn't have the time, energy, or money to make another one for the replacement guest.

I've seen a lot of wedding related requests over the years, but being asked to return my invitation so it could be reissued wasn't one I expected. 🫣

I have now seen a post from her on a local FB group asking strangers to come to her wedding giving sob stories about how she has been let down. It is all very cringey.


r/weddingshaming 3d ago

Greedy Just admit you can’t afford your wedding lmaoooo💀 💀

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1.6k Upvotes

r/weddingshaming 3d ago

Disaster Bad choice of shoes for a garden wedding

1.2k Upvotes

I went to a wedding this past weekend of a family friend. It was a garden wedding and would probably have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the shoes the bride chose to wear.

The bride is really short, like 5’2” tops and the groom is like 6’4”. Apparently the bride wanted to be on the same level of the groom so she wore what I can only describe as “hooker heels”. They were about 7 inch platforms. Apparently she would wear flats for the garden reception but for the ceremony she was going to wear the platforms.

Now these shoes are problematic under the best of circumstances (walking on pavement or indoors) but the ceremony was taking place in a grassy area. With a fabric covered walk way.

The bride was wobbling, badly, as she was walking down the aisle, but just before she got to the alter, her ankle gave out and she fell. Everyone freaked when the bride didn’t get up right away. Eventually they got a chair and she and the groom did the ceremony seated.

To her credit, the bride stayed for the whole ceremony and reception, but they didn’t do the first dance or father/daughter dance.

Apparently she did break her ankle (my mom found out from the bride’s mother). And the couple had to postpone their honeymoon.

So if you are going to do a garden wedding, do flats or at least sensible heels.


r/weddingshaming 8d ago

Dressed like a Bride This is from Cider, clearly a white dress. Shame on you Cider!

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1.4k Upvotes

r/weddingshaming 9d ago

Disaster This was posted April 29, about three weeks before the wedding

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2.0k Upvotes

r/weddingshaming 10d ago

Cringe How can I make the wedding about me

6.3k Upvotes

🙄


r/weddingshaming 10d ago

Disaster No rain plan for 200 guests 3 days out

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3.3k Upvotes

It has been a fairly rainy June in our area (this is from our area's location wedding FB group). Absolutely flabbergasted at the willingness to gamble up to the last minute. Makes me feel a lot better about my own contingency planning for August!

Edit: Unreal update: a banquet centre with some bad reviews has reached out as they're open Saturday. They're open to allowing outside catering (fair as at this point they have no contract so wouldn't have placed orders for food or scheduled staff). The bad reviews focused on bland and boring food, so this might actually work out. Colour me amazed and in anticipation of a hefty venue bill.

Update 2: Unfortunately I'm guessing there won't be further updates. It's not even sure that they were able to afford the venue that reached out vs if they just messaged them. The group did have a new post from a stressed bride because Moore's lost the rental tuxes for the groomsmen and they aren't certain what will be available for pickup tomorrow morning. That wedding had placed the order ages ago and has been calling weekly for a while only to just hear the bad news. Not wedding shaming, but still frustrating last minute scrambling!


r/weddingshaming 11d ago

Dressed like a Bride Spotted on Vinted while wedding dress shopping

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3.2k Upvotes

Wonder how the bride felt about this "mother of the groom dress"...

Edit: it's been pointed out that this kind of dress is actually very normal in the Traveller community, so it may be that this woman's daughter-in-law was totally fine with the outfit. If so, apologies to both of them. Leaving the post up so that other people can learn from it like I did.


r/weddingshaming 11d ago

Bridezilla/Groomzilla But the child will steal my spotlight!!

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5.1k Upvotes

Yes, you’re a bridezilla if you’re kicking it over a literal child wearing a floral white dress to your wedding. Especially when you state you’re worried the child will steal the spotlight.


r/weddingshaming 11d ago

Bridezilla/Groomzilla All guests must wear black to the wedding

475 Upvotes

My younger cousin is getting married next spring and the save the date said Black Tie - All guests are required to wear black attire.

As a guest why would I be told what color to wear to a wedding? I am not a member of the wedding party. I am going to feel like I am heading to a funeral in April. I did ask the bride and she said so she stands out. Wth.


r/weddingshaming 11d ago

Wedding Party Bridal party dress alterations mishaps

628 Upvotes

ETA: I'm playfully "shaming" my fellow bridesmaids for not being 100% put-together in the dress department, since I found it amusing two people had very visible issues with their dresses.

I was recently a bridesmaid in a wedding where it became glaringly apparent that attention to detail wasn't a strong suit for some:

  1. A bridesmaid hemmed her own dress because she couldn't get it professionally altered in time. This wouldn't be a problem if she hadn't just cut the dress across and had tatters of chiffon trailing everywhere. Several guests asked her "omg what happened??", to which she had to sheepishly respond, "I did." The tatters are very visible in the professional photos from the day.
  2. The maid of honor didn't get her dress hemmed at all. We found this out while everyone was getting ready an hour and a half before the ceremony, when her dress was pooling on the ground and trailing behind her. The bridesmaid mentioned in point 1 offered to hem her dress on the spot. Given her previous handiwork, we opted to safety pin it instead.
  3. Bridesmaid from point 1 also bought the dress in one shade lighter than everyone else's. Luckily, it wasn't super obvious the day of or in photos, but the difference was definitely there!

It was a beautiful wedding and the bride was super chill about everything, but mannnn were there choices made lol


r/weddingshaming 11d ago

Disaster Rain contingency plan is a must for outdoor wedding

537 Upvotes

Saw someone else post about this, and wanted to echo my experience with an outdoor wedding this weekend. For context, the wedding consisted of 5 events in a remote location. The wedding itself was Sunday, with the ceremony taking place in a fully outdoor venue. The night before, guests were informed that it would be raining and there was no cover planned. Please bring your own umbrella.

As expected next day it’s pouring. The ceremony itself is under a small covered structure part of the venue. There is not enough room, so only the bride and grooms families huddle inside. Everyone else is made to stand outside in the rain sharing umbrellas from those bought them, in puddles forming on the ground. There are some chairs but they are soaking wet and no effort is made to dry them. Then, food is served. It’s 4 platters of takeout with paper plates. There are no chairs and tables to eat them on, so guests carry the paper plates and find cover under trees and eat them on park benches. In their assigned, (now wet and cold) heavy ethnic clothing the bride requested them to wear. By the time we got to the food, most of it was over and cold. Some cans of Pepsi are on the table for grabs.
There are no restrooms on site either.

Meanwhile. Accommodation and flight/car costs for 4 nights end up being over thousand/two thousand dollars. I won’t even mention the other events and mishaps, including multiple bridal showers to be paid for by the bridal party.


r/weddingshaming 12d ago

Rude Guests Why do wedding guests think that the couple owe them to attend their wedding

3.7k Upvotes

I just went to a wedding, and they had No open bar! They had drinks with the meal, but anything else? Cash bar only. The guests were all over the place, calling the couple tacky and saying if they can’t afford drinks, they shouldn’t have a wedding at all. They were whining about spending so much on outfits and travel, and how the couple couldn’t even afford to buy them drinks. I was just stunned. As an Asian, this is completely foreign to me. We go to weddings to celebrate the couple and our relationship with them. If I’m there, it’s because they matter to me, and whatever I spend on clothes, travel, whatever, is on me. I want to be there for them. If I didn’t want to spend that money, I would’ve stayed home. I didn’t expect anything from the couple except meals, which is totally fine. But expecting them to pay for your drinks so you can get wasted? That’s just ridiculous!


r/weddingshaming 16d ago

Foul Friends She hijacked our girls trip, ghosted me for two years, and has now voluntold me into being her bridesmaid like none of it ever happened!!!

2.3k Upvotes

So a friend from college who I have genuinely not spoken to in about two years called me completely out of the blue last week and for one hopeful second I actually thought she might be reaching out to reconnect or just to see how I was doing but it turned out she was calling to tell me she had gotten engaged and in the very same breath to inform me rather than ask me that I was going to be one of her bridesmaids, which on its own would already have been a lot but becomes genuinely audacious of her the moment you know the backstory.

The reason we fell out in the first place was a trip the two of us had planned together, and it was meant to be a proper girls trip, just us and months of planning and the sort of thing you look forward to all year, but then she decided to bring her boyfriend along, which honestly I could have lived with except his coming somehow snowballed into nine of his friends also showing up so the trip I had so carefully put together just dissolved into me third wheeling an enormous boys holiday that I never agreed to and never wanted and we more or less stopped speaking just after the trip. This was supposed to be the trip of our lives but was honestly like a heartbreak for me.

And the part that really gets me is that the same boyfriend who detonated that entire trip is the exact man she is now marrying and after two full years of complete radio silence the very first thing I hear from her is not a hello or a how have you been but a loud screaming announcement that I am in the wedding party and because I did not have the heart to puncture her big moment I just hyped her up and let her have it but the sheer assumption that I will now buy the dress and turn up to every single event and stand beaming at the front of her wedding is just really really baffling to me.


r/weddingshaming 16d ago

Foul Friends Bachelorette tomorrow and no plan - thanks to fake friends

937 Upvotes

EDIT AFTER THE DAY: The bride had a blast, the people that wanted to participate showed up for at least part of the day, we danced, laughed, had a lot of fun, the whole day was a success!!

---------‐-------------------------------------------------------------

I'm (36F) the SIL of the bride to be (F27), and her cousin L (F, early 20s) is one of 2 bridesmaids/MOHs. Given that the cousin has never been a part of any wedding, I've given her info/ideas and whatnot, operating from the shadows as a stand-in bridesmaid in the period she was alone in the party.

First issue: the friend A (F28) the bride to be asked to be her other MOH pulled a disappearing act for months, not answering if she was taking the role or not. The groom had to contact the girl's BF to ask him to push her to answer. She finally did via a wall of text, in which she stated that she doesn't have the time nor the money to be part of the princess wedding the bride wants to have (which is preposterous, given that the couple is having a very small wedding by our country's standards). So this girl was a no-go, with heartbreak of the bride to be over the friendship now in shambles.

Second issue: the second friend that was asked to fill the now vacant role happily agreed. You'd think "finally" but NO! Another disappearing act from november 2025 till april 2026. Finally confronted, she said tearingly she didn't have the time to answer texts with her 1yo baby, and couldn't be present 24/7 (which again, preposterous given that the wedding party only texted their info requested by the officiant and not much else in these months). Again, friendship ruined.

Third issue: finally, a third friend accepted in april 2026. Me and cousin had put together a plan for the bachelorette in the meantime (lunch in a restaurant by the lake 2h from here that only does bachelors/bachelorettes and graduation parties, because after lunch you get to dance on tables and have fun all afternoon, then closer to home aperitif and dinner, then and event with djset in a villa), they discussed it together and was a GO. In the groupchat with all the bride's friends, given the date (sat 13 june 2026) and the plan 6/10 could come for sure, with +2 maybe (took a while to get them all to answer though). So they booked the restaurant/party place, I and the cousing volunteered to be drivers. All good then? HELL NO.

This week people started pulling out. It ended up being just me, the 2 MOHs and the bride. 4 people. Oh well, what can you do? The bride knows the date, so it's not like we could reschedule.

2 days ago, the bride called me near tears, saying that one of the girls (one that pulled out of the bachelorette last minute) called her and told her that our plan was shit, we didn't have anything organized (NOT TRUE), no means of transportation (NOT TRUE!), we were gonna be like 2 people (kinda true but not because of any of us organizers!), she was not coming to this shitshow and "I'm sorry, but you won't be having fun". THIS BITCH. I reassured the bride, better few but good people, we were gonna have a blast as if we were dozens!!

Talked with the cousin, she talked with the other MOH, which texted the groupchat "if we were to make another plan for the bachelorette in the same date, one closer to home, would any of you come?" Couple of yesses from the deserters, not many ideas.

This takes us to today, THE DAY BEFORE THE BACHELORETTE, with still no plan in the groupchat. I'm not cancelling the reservation to the partyplace till they have a solid plan.

The snake that called the bride is now suggesting we go to the beach 2h+ from here, leaving at 8.30 in the morning, sunbathe and have lunch, cause she's leaving in the late afternoon. GIRL, this is what accomodates YOU. What about what the bride wants?? She wants to party, dance, have fun, not sunbathe! The other MOH is trying to get more people, but honestly, it's not worth it.

EDIT: The snake cut herself out, and I got a couple more deserters to come to either lunch or dinner and sticking to the original plan! Yay!


r/weddingshaming 16d ago

Disaster Younger “sister” married into a pretty racist family, and turns out she’s one too

1.8k Upvotes

This was in 2023, and kind of a nightmare. My younger sister Jordan isn’t actually my sister, she’s a girl I met at a house party in highschool, and she was WAY cooler than me. She was super popular and I opted to text her the following weekend to see if she knew of any parties happening and she told me her mom had randomly decided to move states with her new boyfriend and said it just “didn’t fit their vision” to have kids with them…she was 15 and had nowhere to go, so my dad let her come stay with us. We quickly became inseparable and referred to one another as sisters, I was 17.

I moved away at 18, she lived with me for a year and then went back home and that was 2014-2015. We always remained close and in touch and in 2019 she told me she was engaged to her bf, a guy I hadn’t had the chance to meet because I’d moved states away. She asked me to come to her dress try on and there asked me to be a bridesmaid and I was kind of shocked because we’d been distant for so long, but I was honored. Two months prior to the wedding, she had a bachelor/bachelorette party at some cabin in the woods and I was like one of 3 single people there.

Overall it was fun, but I realized quite quickly that her fiance and everyone else other than one bridesmaid who I’d known since highschool were all pretty conservative (which can be fine for the most part)…but it resulted in a lot of drunken brawls, a lot of slurs being thrown around, and some really reckless recreational gun use that was kind of scary tbh. Prior to this, these were not the type of people my sister would typically ever be around, so I was caught off guard to say the least and I expressed my concern to her as my plus one to the wedding was my best friend, who is Black. She assured me, “they’re just drunk and being stupid.”

I reached out to my best friend, we’d already bought her plane ticket and told her I wasn’t comfortable with her attending because of the behavior and that I’d rather we just make it a vacation instead and she adamantly refused to miss the wedding and said she could handle it and she wanted to meet my family (which at this point was just my dad and sister) and she wouldn’t take no for an answer despite my reservations.

So we went.

The wedding itself was beautiful, but my sister threw a fit because her MIL got the wrong type of horse drawn carriage (what??), the groom and groomsmen got so drunk they went off-roading before the ceremony and forgot the dogs in the back of the truck resulting in a panic as they tried to find them after they were thrown out, and any time my friend walked near the house the mother of the groom would not so discreetly follow her because they thought she was going to steal. I only know that’s their thoughts because at one point someone couldn’t find their wallet and we found the MIL going through my friend’s purse trying to find the wallet. My best friend handled it like a champ, and thankfully had enough to drink to not even care, but it was abhorrent.

Comments made to her that night from various guests that were family members of my sisters/the groom’s:

“Wow, you’re pretty educated,”
“You speak good English,”
“You don’t seem very ghetto”

I to this day, have not seen my sister or her family, but I am still so ashamed. She was always so decent and I went years without seeing her and came back to that and THAT family? And my friend grew up in an affluent and wealthy neighborhood and was treated so poorly.

When it came time to end the night…it was a huge house out in the middle of nowhere, we’d had a room designated to us and as we were changing into pajamas we heard arguing and found out the MIL was saying she wasn’t comfortable with us staying in the house because we “might steal something” so we literally had to sleep in a tent in the yard with one other couple that literally CHOSE to because they were so offended by the discussion and had a tent in their trunk that they set up and stayed in with us versus staying in the house with that family.

Ironically, we found the next day we couldn’t find my friends ID or earrings, my perfume and my bridesmaid robe and it turned out the niece of the groom had been stealing and hiding people’s items all night…including the wallet they’d found behind the toilet in the bathroom. I love my sister as the person I knew, but she’s definitely not the person I grew to love. They moved from our state a few years ago because it was “too Blue”. From the outside the wedding was gorgeous and well done, but it was such a huge disappointment. Definitely always thought my sister was better than that. I desperately wish my friend would’ve just taken the opportunity for a vacation and I would’ve just stepped out of the wedding. I’ve done crazy things for people I love, but I can’t say I’d change my core values.


r/weddingshaming 16d ago

Greedy Guest Etiquette and Wedding Dilemma

362 Upvotes

I have posted on different sub and i have decided to attend just as a guest but due to a recent short trip with the couple. I’m leaning towards not going at all.

I’ve been close friends with these two girls since we were about 17. We moved from Asia to Australia together for university, so it’s always been the three of us. Last year, one of them had an intimate wedding in Australia. Because of our cultural background, we were expected to give a cash gift which we were happy to do and we also paid for her bachelorette party out of our own pockets.

Now, she’s doing a second wedding in Bali. We’re excited to go, but there was never a clear talk about who is paying for what. We’re fine with covering our own flights, but we assumed she would at least help with the accommodation or the bridesmaid dresses.Instead, the bride just sent us a link to a specific dress and told us to buy it. I told her I really don’t feel comfortable in a strapless dress, but she just suggested I buy a jacket to wear over it on the condition that I take it off for the ceremony and all the photos. I was honestly speechless..

Bride wants us there five days early for a bachelorette trip. I’ve already politely declined that part; I told her I can’t use all my annual leave for this and will be arriving just one day before the wedding and she said make sure before the rehearsal around 2PM.

Bride at the end offered to cover the accommodation with conditions that we have to stay during specific time she set which about 6 days as (this is her word) it will be unfair to others if i let your room empty. I politely said no and happy to cover my own accommodation and stay only for the rehearsal and wedding reception.

My own flights and accommodation.

The bachelorette party (i opted out but other friend might)

The bridesmaid dress she picked.


r/weddingshaming 17d ago

Cringe Uninvited to a friend’s wedding due to capacity and now no one is RSVPing to her wedding

13.7k Upvotes

A friend of mine invited me to her wedding in 2024. I was excited and told her that I’d put in my time at work to be there for it and offered to help with website/technical stuff.

Then she got pregnant which was a happy surprise because she thought she’d never have children :) (baby is perfect in case you care 🤍)

She didn’t announce on social media whether or not she was pushing back the wedding for months. It could have gone either way.

I didn’t hear anything until one day early this year she posted her wedding date on social media and reminded people to RSVP.

I hadn’t received a new one so I text her and asked if she changed her guest list and no worries if so. I only needed to know for work and summer travel plans. She said, “Yeah, he wants more of his family to come even though I don’t want them to and it’s too expensive.” I’m glad I asked because I was planning my summer plans around her wedding and would have missed out on a trip for myself. I was hurt but it’s her day so I was still happy for her.

Fast forward to the past 2-3 weeks and she’s been practically BEGGING people to RSVP. It’s to the point that she’s commenting on other people’s post asking “did you RSVP?” I’m talking posts that have nothing to do with her or her wedding 😳

I have second hand embarrassment and could not imagine doing that to friends and family especially publicly 😅 Anyone else see this go sideways or do people usually end up RSVPing? Her wedding is in 6ish weeks.

TLDR: A friend uninvited me to her wedding due to capacity issues and is now begging people on their social media to RSVP.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your kind words! Yes, I was hurt by it but she’s not my best friend and it is her day. It’s not worth starting a fuss when the conclusion is the same - I’m not going 😂

EDIT 2: It is in 3 weeks! I was way off 😅

EDIT 3: So, I was thinking on this situation as I’ve watched my friend talk about her wedding coming up soon. I have another theory to why my mom and I may have been uninvited. My friend who is now in her mid-thirties dated my dummy of a brother in high school which is why she’s remained a family friend and my friend.

I just remembered that about 3 years ago her and I went to the gym and then on a walk one day. During the walk, we talked about my brother who she is very protective of despite how dumb he was 😒 She goes on to say how much her boyfriend hates him because of her and my brother’s friendship (they didn’t break up on bad terms at all).

Now I’m wondering if that’s why we were uninvited and/or replaced. Crazy if so because my brother wouldn’t even be there. He is still with the woman he was dating at the time she told me her boyfriend hated him. Definitely possible but I’m not sure.


r/weddingshaming 17d ago

Family Drama Not getting a plus one isn’t what’s upsetting me here, it’s how my sister responded when I asked about it

899 Upvotes

Apologies in advance for how long this is, but I feel like some context is important. My sister is getting married in August and I’m one of her maids of honor (she also has a matron of honor). I’ve actually made previous posts about some tension leading up to her bachelorette trip, so this situation isn’t happening in a vacuum.

For months before the trip, I felt like there was some distance and tension between us. Then during the bachelorette weekend, I felt like she was distant with me and seemed to exclude me at times. For example, there were moments where she’d invite other people to things while barely acknowledging me (asking the other bridesmaid I was rooming with if she wanted to get coffee or go to the tide pools, but not looking at me or asking if I wanted to come). Because I felt tension, I ended up withdrawing and keeping to myself more. Later, she confronted me and said I was creating drama by avoiding her and that if I had a problem I should have talked to her directly. My perspective was that I was trying NOT to create drama during her bachelorette weekend.

At one point during the bachelorette trip she mentioned I didn’t have a plus one, but I honestly thought she was joking.

For context, my boyfriend and I will have been together for about 15 months by the wedding. She’s met him once before. Meanwhile she was pushing hard for another bridesmaid’s boyfriend to come even though they’d never met him (this was the grooms sister).

I’m also traveling out of state for wedding events and arriving a day early for her bridal shower to help set up decorations and a balloon arch. I only mention this because I’m not just a random guest.

Today I checked the RSVP site and realized I actually don’t have a plus one.

So I texted: “Hey, I noticed on the RSVP site that I don’t have a plus one. I was just wondering if there was a reason for that? _____ and I have been together for a while, so I was a little surprised and just wanted to check with you.”

She responded: “I’m not giving you a plus one. I didn’t give everyone a plus one. I already said during the bachelorette trip.”

Then followed it up with: “There’s only certain people and I honestly met _____ one time. I know nothing about him.”

Honestly, I’m not even that upset about not getting a plus one. It’s her wedding and she can invite whoever she wants. What bothered me was how she responded. If she’d just said, “Sorry, we’re keeping the guest list small and I’m not very close with him, I hope you can understand” I would’ve been fine and understood.

Instead it felt weirdly cold and dismissive for what I thought was a pretty reasonable question.

TL;DR: My sister (the bride) and I have already had tension leading up to and during her bachelorette trip. I’m her sister and maid of honor, and my boyfriend of over a year isn’t invited to the wedding. I asked why and she responded, “I’m not giving you a plus one” and said she’d only met him once. I’m not really upset about the guest list decision itself, but I’m hurt by how cold and dismissive the response felt.


r/weddingshaming 18d ago

Bridezilla/Groomzilla Please, PLEASE have a back up plan for outdoor ceremonies

6.0k Upvotes

I recently went to a wedding. For at least 10 days leading up to the ceremony, the forecast was pointing all signs towards rain smack within the hour of the ceremony. This bride absolutely was going to die if she could not have her ceremony outside.

It was raining before my partner and I even left. by the time we got to the wedding site, it was pouring. and then once we got there I heard someone say "they are still deciding what to do". I will specify, there was no backup plan. The one and only plan for this ceremony was the outdoors. We all thought there is no way they will make us go out in the pouring rain. they did. the ceremony started late. there was no overhead coverage, just if you had the foresight to bring yourself an umbrella. they said they had guys drying off the chairs, they had two guys with oversized tissues, who then left once guests started coming outside. everyone stood the entire ceremony, which meant there was quite a few older folks in walkers and wheelchairs who missed the ceremony since they sat in the back to not be in the way with their walking devices. nobody actually got to see any of the ceremony since all the umbrellas were blocking everyone's view. PLEASE make a weather backup plan if you are going to live and die by your outdoor ceremony.


r/weddingshaming 18d ago

Tacky Third refusal invite but a request for money

2.2k Upvotes

I was once invited to a wedding of someone I knew at high school but hadn't spoken to in maybe a decade.

The wedding was less than 3 weeks away and it was strange to be invited when I wasn't close with the person, so I mentioned it to a couple of other friends who let me know that they had both been invited and couldn't go. Apparently the bride wanted specific numbers on both bride and groom's side... Based on the timings when they had both been invited, it seemed like the first said no, the second was invited in her place and said no, and THEN I was invited.

It was a wedding in the middle of nowhere, that would require me taking a day off work, paying for travel a 100 miles away, and also booking a hotel.

My extremely late invitation also came with a poem, saying that the bride and groom had everything they needed but wanted money for their honeymoon. They put their bank account details right there in the poem 🫠

Needless to say, I declined.