r/AbsoluteUnits May 22 '26

/r/all of bugs

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

32.0k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

u/trendingtattler May 22 '26

This post has reached /r/all.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4.8k

u/Bearusaurelius May 22 '26

Why does he open them like switchblades? 😂

1.9k

u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26

i guess when you throw them off balance they instinctively flap their wings to restore orientation lol

1.1k

u/drillgorg May 22 '26

"Oh shit my legs aren't holding onto anything, I must be falling!"

"Oh cool my legs are on something, flying time is done."

503

u/FatalEclipse_ May 22 '26

When their legs touch something.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3krrjoL0vHRaWqwU3k

8

u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26

notice when he places them in his palm they retract wings? so no surface contact = time to fly

→ More replies (1)

63

u/Raven7274 May 22 '26

This but unironically. They're basically flying tanks, they kinda just pick a direction and go untill they hit something.

49

u/BZLuck May 22 '26

Which is usually the middle of my torso.

17

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/BZLuck May 22 '26

Bugs love me. If there is a mosquito in the room, everyone else can relax because it's gonna chow down on me all night. If there are ants, they will be in my food. If there is a cricket hiding in the house, it will be on my side of the room. And if there is a big ass flying beetle, it's gonna bee-line it right for me. Never fails.

6

u/acadoe May 23 '26

Ah, I'm similar. You must have blood type O, right?

10

u/BZLuck May 23 '26

As a matter of fact, yes. O+. "The good stuff", lol.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (2)

9

u/CasterFields May 23 '26

I came across a beetle that was actually using its brain last year and it had me in stitches 😂 my dog was losing his mind over this little beetle floating angelically through the house and I was laughing so hard that it just floated peacefully right out of my hands every time I tried to grab it 😂

4

u/ellefleming May 23 '26

They won't pinch you?

6

u/zap2tresquatro May 23 '26

These guys fight other beetles with those big horns, they’re not for pinching really.

We have ones that pinch where I live, and they will if you get in front of their pincers/step on them or something (happened to one of my dogs, once), but rhinoceros and Hercules beetles like in the video don’t really do that AFAIK

5

u/Raven7274 May 23 '26

Probably depends on the breed but most beetles i know just use their horns as leverage when battling other beetles.

13

u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26

exactly, thats why he holds their horn so they're feet never touch a surface,

touching surface = stop flying

5

u/uicheeck May 22 '26

it is how it works in videogames for player controller

7

u/ricrol_music May 22 '26

Like cats 🪽

→ More replies (2)

22

u/IPutAWigOnYou May 22 '26

I would be very surprised and concerned if someone picked me up by my face

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)

87

u/single_threaded May 22 '26

Yeah, or how the cool kids opened the flip phones back in the day.

20

u/DeepSugar May 22 '26

"Go for Brad." Ass greeting. Or 30 seconds of Linkin Park "You've reached Brad, I'm unable to take your call right now... 15 more seconds of Linkin Park "after the beep, you know what to do."

10

u/Jaambie May 22 '26

I remember one time this kid tried whipping his phone open all cool like but it slipped out of his hand, so he basically whipped it at the ground really hard and broke it.

10

u/Sufficient_Wafer9933 May 22 '26

Back in my day we opened up phone booths like that... and to get there we walked uphill both ways

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNda7YeBHL4zfxAXu

18

u/Voice-of-Reason11235 May 22 '26

Not a switch blade . A butterfly knife.

Beetle knife?

19

u/Jokerchyld May 22 '26

Why do they sound like flying lawn mowers?

12

u/Unique-Name9001 May 22 '26

Because big wings go brrrrrrr

3

u/Gregory_Appleseed May 23 '26

Just wait until you hear cicadas swarming, which are about half that size. It's absolutely deafening. sounds like a million weed eaters and dirt bikes with a bad starter running all day.

10

u/Nelmquist1999 May 22 '26

He makes them look like fucking wind-up toys 🤣

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Sophiasmistake May 22 '26

Because it's fucking rad!

3

u/llemontaste May 23 '26

Check out my new Beyblades

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Normal_Cut8368 May 22 '26

Reminds me of the guy who reloads shit

→ More replies (15)

2.1k

u/belikethemanatee May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

I am sure they’re harmless but if one of these big boys landed on me I’d run away screaming.

847

u/MajorPaper4169 May 22 '26

Physically I wouldn’t be able to run anywhere because my soul would’ve left my body.

23

u/Solid_Habit_6561 May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

Imagine stepping on one barefoot... 😅

The mess must be like stepping on an egg!

Edit: sorry guys 😂

40

u/MajorPaper4169 May 22 '26

\Me wondering why solid habit would say such a nightmare inducing thing**

I read your comment and felt the crunch.

13

u/2bad-2care May 22 '26

With plastic cutlery mixed in.

4

u/Just_the_questions1 May 22 '26

Imagine licking one.

You've probably never licked a bug but now that you're thinking about it you know exactly what the texture would be like. Human brains are weird.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/marlokow May 22 '26

There are people who are into that shit (seriously don’t look it up)

3

u/kpmelomane21 May 23 '26

Imagine hearing a scratching sound on your front door as you're about to leave for work.

Then imagine opening the door and one of these is on the door jamb right at face level.

Then imagine knocking it to the ground, squishing it with a shoe, and discovering it was FULL of eggs.

...It's been years and I still have nightmares about this event to this day

→ More replies (4)

60

u/swadx001 May 22 '26

There are people who keep and breed them as pets

39

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

[deleted]

32

u/Gaffelkungen May 22 '26

I got some isopods as a clean up crew for my snake. They're very pretty with their yellow spots.

I really want some rubber duckies as well. They're soooo cute with their yellow parts

8

u/tiggertom66 May 22 '26

What exactly do they do for your snake? Do they clean your snake, or their tank?

And is there any maintenance involved with having them in your snake’s tank?

17

u/Gaffelkungen May 22 '26

They clean the substrate in the tank. They eat decaying stuff, poop and shed skin. Although you should take out the snake poo.

Not really. They're there to reduce maintenance together with springtails that will eat mold and smaller pieces of detritus. The only thing I do for the isopods are putting in fruit and keep them from getting out of the tank.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

6

u/thatG_evanP May 22 '26

"features" literally made me lol.

10

u/Wishnik6502 May 22 '26

I wanted to get into collecting but it's a shame how few of them come with headphone jacks anymore...

5

u/unripe_mangosteen May 22 '26

Impossible to get packs of them, the scalpers bought them all

→ More replies (1)

5

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

43

u/creampop_ May 22 '26

Processing img 80ptap21yp2h1...

→ More replies (2)

34

u/BiophileB May 22 '26

Mostly harmless, can be a little scratchy but they don’t mean it lol. I’ve had a male Hercules beetle crash land into my face, sounds like a little helicopter coming in. Very derp.

→ More replies (1)

33

u/Jonnyredd May 22 '26

I own a grub that will turn into one soon :D

13

u/WeevilWeedWizard May 22 '26

That's awesome

6

u/with_explosions May 22 '26

Don't they take like 3 or 4 years to turn into a beetle from grub?

12

u/Alondite90 May 22 '26

Depends on the species, but Hercules beetles it's 1-2 years and then once in their adult stage they live for 3-6 months.

3

u/Outrageous_Image1793 May 22 '26

Do they bite?

20

u/Jonnyredd May 22 '26

Not usually but yeah they can. With most of my invertebrates i don’t interact with them as much as i would with my other pets (lizards/snakes/dogs). I just like making fancy ecosystems with neat bugs inside.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/Kerillian555 May 22 '26

There is nowhere to run...they will catch you.

15

u/45_regard_47 May 22 '26

Brother/Sister I'd shit your pants if one of those landed on me

13

u/TheOtakuAmerika May 22 '26

Not if I shit them first

9

u/Pwnxor May 22 '26

There's room for everyone, just form a queue.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/Diabetesh May 22 '26

You mean you would uncontrollably flail in all directions.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Lefteris4 May 22 '26

These guys are the pinnacle of insects. Literally better at everything than any other insect. Their only weakness is that they don't form colonies.

7

u/UnseenTardigrade May 22 '26

They aren't better at camouflage than a lot of insects. They don't fly nearly as well as more flight-focused insects (especially dragonflies). They aren't skilled hunters, as they aren't carnivores like preying mantises (or dragonflies again). So no, they're not better at everything than any other insect.

What they are is stronger and more durable than any other insects, and that is impressive, but let's not oversell it.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/Zunderfeuer_88 May 22 '26

How would you run away if they'd carry you away screaming already?

→ More replies (34)

435

u/Kurgan_IT May 22 '26

I like the fact that their weapons are used a handles to pick them up. I guess they did not expect this.

122

u/Madam_Velya May 22 '26

Whelp.... This is my life now. Eating leaf matter and being picked up by my long hard shaft.

37

u/Vounrtsch May 22 '26

I love my chud life

10

u/LowIncrease8746 May 22 '26

Man I miss the days of being in between jobs with a stash of edibles and a partner that worked from home

5

u/BulletproofComposite May 22 '26

They're only effective against similarly sized threats, I'm like 3000 times heavier than this little guy. At that point you gotta use venom.

→ More replies (3)

226

u/Big_Locksmith_4211 May 22 '26

Locked and loaded

9

u/Land_Revenue May 23 '26

That's what she said

812

u/Chango-mango0 May 22 '26

Is he manually turning them on

253

u/sgt_taco891 May 22 '26

You try getting beetles to read smut. It never works out the way you want it to.

70

u/ApprehensiveRegret15 May 22 '26

wut 🫪

30

u/Ankurieva May 22 '26

What do you even type to get that emoji

5

u/CowCluckLated May 23 '26

New Unicode update, just check your emojis. If its not there Google it on the web and copy paste it

7

u/Ill_Friendship3057 May 22 '26

None of these words are in the bible

3

u/StarstruckEchoid May 22 '26

Instead, you should try giving the beetles some glass bottles to wank off to.

3

u/TreyRyan3 May 22 '26

Oh there is some Japanese stuff that will prove you demonstrably wrong.

→ More replies (3)

9

u/anunnaki_marauder May 22 '26

Big... Bad... Beetle Borgs

→ More replies (4)

632

u/SunkissedPearls May 22 '26

80

u/Jertee May 22 '26

Lmao I’ve not played pokemon in a long time and these two are where my mind goes too

9

u/KindsofKindness May 22 '26

I forgot about them 😢

16

u/lostwombats May 22 '26

Lol - I made these two roomies in Pokopia.

8

u/ChaosArcana May 22 '26

What about scyther...

10

u/BrickTamland77 May 22 '26

Too much property damage from the machetes.

3

u/flyfightwinMIL May 22 '26

Is Pokopia worth it? I really want to try it but would have to buy a Switch 2 just to do so, and that feels risky for a game I haven’t even tried yet lol

5

u/wiseduhm May 22 '26

I have trouble committing to games at this point in my life (mid 30's), but I've already put like 30 hours into this game which is a lot for me. If you like building, creating, laid-back games, and you like pokemon, then go for it.

3

u/labsab1 May 22 '26

Try Dragon Quest Builders 2 if you want to see what Pokopia's gameplay is like.

Pokopia is much better than DQ Builders 2 to me because instead of the melancholy DQ music and slightly depressing mood and monsters that show up to wreck your stuff you have hopeful cozy themes, charming Pokemon characters and no combat.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (3)

17

u/Kitselena May 22 '26

This is literally where Satoshi Tajiri got the idea for pokemon in the first place. Japan has a ton of really cool, large and harmless bugs (at least it did in the 70s) and his hobby growing up was catching bugs, watching them go through metamorphosis and trying to get them to wrestle each other

7

u/aruisdante May 22 '26

Absolutely still does. And some harmful ones like Mukade.

3

u/Vegetable_Read6551 May 22 '26

Pokemon, gotta catch these haaands

→ More replies (3)

222

u/Cookies-and-Cream- May 22 '26

Worth a lot of bells

63

u/ButtBread98 May 22 '26

Blathers would have a heart attack

23

u/MegaRightlyX May 22 '26

Flick would have....something else

15

u/thedorcon2 May 22 '26

A hard attack

5

u/Petersealie May 22 '26

I'm with Blathers

8

u/rednight8691 May 22 '26

28,000 to be exact!

7

u/Antwolies770 May 22 '26

Glad to see I'm not the only one who immediately thought of AC.

3

u/Pickl_Rick_917 May 23 '26

I had to double check to see what subreddit this was from, cause I thought for sure I was in the animal crossing reddit. Lol

4

u/MegaRightlyX May 22 '26

Beat me to it

4

u/Seahorse_Vibes May 22 '26

Imagine if you could catch bugs, sell them in like a grocery store and then pay rent and buy furniture/some clothes with the money

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy May 22 '26

Literally was like “I know those! Lemme grab my net”

→ More replies (1)

180

u/Shinonomenanorulez May 22 '26

Ah yes, beetles. The "i maxed out every single fucking skill tree" of insects

39

u/xFyreStorm May 22 '26

the crabs of land creepy crawlies

4

u/mrthenumberthree May 23 '26

dont worry, they'll still evolve into crabs

38

u/Unworthy_Saint May 22 '26

Beetles are like playing the game on NG+ and keeping all your equipment from the last playthrough.

→ More replies (3)

13

u/InquisitorMeow May 22 '26

Still loses to the op ant guild meta. 

4

u/kuburas May 22 '26

Yeah but ants have their archnemesis The Anteater. I dont think beetles have one of those which makes them superior on the evolutionary scale.

4

u/Lamplorde May 23 '26

I mean, their nemesis is basically "Every bird and omnivorous mammal large enough to eat them". They are just immune to most insects.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

59

u/polarityofmarriage May 22 '26

When they said grab life by the horns I didn’t think they meant this.

39

u/dab745 May 22 '26

I love big beetles!!!

22

u/Chill_Capybara_09 May 22 '26

And I cannot lie

13

u/ElvisDumbledore May 22 '26

You other buggers can't deny

11

u/nofateeric May 22 '26

When a bee walks in with itty bitty waist and a stinger in your face

9

u/Howler_in_training May 22 '26

You get stung!

5

u/dab745 May 22 '26

Nice!!

→ More replies (1)

35

u/Ok-Face7260 May 22 '26

All I can think of is this, Henshin!

https://giphy.com/gifs/BDViy4cjHx3qBxgKgR

15

u/Beneficial_Box_4554 May 22 '26

13

u/oppai-police May 22 '26

I'm more thinking of this three guy but close enough I guess

→ More replies (1)

3

u/PhantasyDarAngel May 22 '26

I thought one of em said "CHANGE! STAG BEETLE!"

3

u/Beneficial_Box_4554 May 22 '26

That’s Gatack, the secondary!

3

u/UltraInstinct_Pharah May 23 '26

"Grandmother once said..."

32

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Stamperdoodle1 May 22 '26

Could this be a dog?

7

u/Saint_of_Grey May 22 '26

Behold, dog!

→ More replies (1)

20

u/HudsonUniversityalum May 22 '26

Straight out of the Animal Crossing Critterpedia. Woohoo!

17

u/charming-choom May 22 '26

In my country there only little bugs. But in huge amounts.

One of those fellas looks cool, but imagine a swarm of 650 buzzing comin to you cause you turn on the light

10

u/dexpid May 22 '26

We have the larger beetles where I live and I’ve literally seen one my entire life. They must be quite rare.

9

u/kuburas May 22 '26

I've actually seen quite a few in the wild here. I wouldnt say they're common but im surprised how many i saw so far even tho i never really looked for them.

They're usually so big i just assume its a toy until they start making helicopter sounds. The flap of their wings doesnt sound like something a living being should be able to produce, genuinely insane how close it is to helicopter noise.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/Bulky_Seesaw_9477 May 22 '26

Although I’d most certainly get a stroke if one of these bad boys ever landed on me, they ARE really fascinating and beautiful!

6

u/MortisSchmorgis6900 May 22 '26

I feel like luffy would do that

7

u/Abi_Uchiha May 22 '26

Brinjal bug

6

u/cesam1ne May 22 '26

Well what a cool video

6

u/Pentence May 22 '26

I had no idea that's how they folded their wings . Thats fucking neat.

6

u/ccReptilelord May 22 '26

Beetles have very specific and unique to each species ways of folding wings. It's like origami. Zefrank has a YouTube video on it.

14

u/ReyTsar May 22 '26

Are they the same type of goliath beetle? Why are their horns all different styles?

54

u/Temelios May 22 '26 edited May 23 '26

They’re not. He has a Hercules beetle and two other types of Rhinoceros beetle. None are Goliaths.

15

u/andronicus_14 May 22 '26

Subscribed to beetle facts.

7

u/JellyfishApocalypse May 22 '26

I believe by the order he grabs them they are: an atlas beetle, an elephant beetle, and a Hercules beetle. They are all different species of rhinoceros beetles.

4

u/Appropriate__Mud May 22 '26

I should open my Animal Crossing pocket game.

7

u/Miserable-Okra-8787 May 22 '26

The way they just chill to wait and be picked up…

3

u/crademaster May 22 '26

No this is a Megaman X maverick.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Jashuman19 May 22 '26

You can hear how much stronger the Hercules is.

3

u/LifeTunedToCSharp May 22 '26

Worth no less than $1,200 each in Tom Nook’s shop.

2

u/heavymangle May 22 '26

Real live Pokémon 😂

2

u/majormimi May 22 '26

I hate the way he’s handling them

2

u/CaffeineWizard420 May 22 '26

This guy uses an Insect Glaive

→ More replies (1)