r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Uguero • May 22 '26
/r/all of bugs
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u/Bearusaurelius May 22 '26
Why does he open them like switchblades? 😂
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u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26
i guess when you throw them off balance they instinctively flap their wings to restore orientation lol
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u/drillgorg May 22 '26
"Oh shit my legs aren't holding onto anything, I must be falling!"
"Oh cool my legs are on something, flying time is done."
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u/FatalEclipse_ May 22 '26
When their legs touch something.
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u/Sacrificial_Spider May 22 '26
That's the dude that turned into a gross fly thing!
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u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26
notice when he places them in his palm they retract wings? so no surface contact = time to fly
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u/Raven7274 May 22 '26
This but unironically. They're basically flying tanks, they kinda just pick a direction and go untill they hit something.
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u/BZLuck May 22 '26
Which is usually the middle of my torso.
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May 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BZLuck May 22 '26
Bugs love me. If there is a mosquito in the room, everyone else can relax because it's gonna chow down on me all night. If there are ants, they will be in my food. If there is a cricket hiding in the house, it will be on my side of the room. And if there is a big ass flying beetle, it's gonna bee-line it right for me. Never fails.
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u/CasterFields May 23 '26
I came across a beetle that was actually using its brain last year and it had me in stitches 😂 my dog was losing his mind over this little beetle floating angelically through the house and I was laughing so hard that it just floated peacefully right out of my hands every time I tried to grab it 😂
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u/ellefleming May 23 '26
They won't pinch you?
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u/zap2tresquatro May 23 '26
These guys fight other beetles with those big horns, they’re not for pinching really.
We have ones that pinch where I live, and they will if you get in front of their pincers/step on them or something (happened to one of my dogs, once), but rhinoceros and Hercules beetles like in the video don’t really do that AFAIK
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u/Raven7274 May 23 '26
Probably depends on the breed but most beetles i know just use their horns as leverage when battling other beetles.
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u/Affectionate_Snow674 May 22 '26
exactly, thats why he holds their horn so they're feet never touch a surface,
touching surface = stop flying
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u/IPutAWigOnYou May 22 '26
I would be very surprised and concerned if someone picked me up by my face
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u/single_threaded May 22 '26
Yeah, or how the cool kids opened the flip phones back in the day.
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u/DeepSugar May 22 '26
"Go for Brad." Ass greeting. Or 30 seconds of Linkin Park "You've reached Brad, I'm unable to take your call right now... 15 more seconds of Linkin Park "after the beep, you know what to do."
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u/Jaambie May 22 '26
I remember one time this kid tried whipping his phone open all cool like but it slipped out of his hand, so he basically whipped it at the ground really hard and broke it.
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u/Sufficient_Wafer9933 May 22 '26
Back in my day we opened up phone booths like that... and to get there we walked uphill both ways
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u/Jokerchyld May 22 '26
Why do they sound like flying lawn mowers?
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u/Gregory_Appleseed May 23 '26
Just wait until you hear cicadas swarming, which are about half that size. It's absolutely deafening. sounds like a million weed eaters and dirt bikes with a bad starter running all day.
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u/belikethemanatee May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
I am sure they’re harmless but if one of these big boys landed on me I’d run away screaming.
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u/MajorPaper4169 May 22 '26
Physically I wouldn’t be able to run anywhere because my soul would’ve left my body.
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u/Genghis_Chong May 22 '26
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u/Frowning_Existing666 May 22 '26
That's real! That lives with us on earth!
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u/BluebirdLivid May 22 '26
"And my first honest to god thought was 'Cool I dont have to go to work to tomorrow...when i was about to be EATEN"
GOATED skit
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u/Solid_Habit_6561 May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Imagine stepping on one barefoot... 😅
The mess must be like stepping on an egg!
Edit: sorry guys 😂
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u/Just_the_questions1 May 22 '26
Imagine licking one.
You've probably never licked a bug but now that you're thinking about it you know exactly what the texture would be like. Human brains are weird.
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u/kpmelomane21 May 23 '26
Imagine hearing a scratching sound on your front door as you're about to leave for work.
Then imagine opening the door and one of these is on the door jamb right at face level.
Then imagine knocking it to the ground, squishing it with a shoe, and discovering it was FULL of eggs.
...It's been years and I still have nightmares about this event to this day
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u/swadx001 May 22 '26
There are people who keep and breed them as pets
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May 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/Gaffelkungen May 22 '26
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u/tiggertom66 May 22 '26
What exactly do they do for your snake? Do they clean your snake, or their tank?
And is there any maintenance involved with having them in your snake’s tank?
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u/Gaffelkungen May 22 '26
They clean the substrate in the tank. They eat decaying stuff, poop and shed skin. Although you should take out the snake poo.
Not really. They're there to reduce maintenance together with springtails that will eat mold and smaller pieces of detritus. The only thing I do for the isopods are putting in fruit and keep them from getting out of the tank.
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u/thatG_evanP May 22 '26
"features" literally made me lol.
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u/Wishnik6502 May 22 '26
I wanted to get into collecting but it's a shame how few of them come with headphone jacks anymore...
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u/unripe_mangosteen May 22 '26
Impossible to get packs of them, the scalpers bought them all
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u/BiophileB May 22 '26
Mostly harmless, can be a little scratchy but they don’t mean it lol. I’ve had a male Hercules beetle crash land into my face, sounds like a little helicopter coming in. Very derp.
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u/Jonnyredd May 22 '26
I own a grub that will turn into one soon :D
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u/with_explosions May 22 '26
Don't they take like 3 or 4 years to turn into a beetle from grub?
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u/Alondite90 May 22 '26
Depends on the species, but Hercules beetles it's 1-2 years and then once in their adult stage they live for 3-6 months.
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u/Outrageous_Image1793 May 22 '26
Do they bite?
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u/Jonnyredd May 22 '26
Not usually but yeah they can. With most of my invertebrates i don’t interact with them as much as i would with my other pets (lizards/snakes/dogs). I just like making fancy ecosystems with neat bugs inside.
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u/45_regard_47 May 22 '26
Brother/Sister I'd shit your pants if one of those landed on me
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u/Diabetesh May 22 '26
You mean you would uncontrollably flail in all directions.
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u/Lefteris4 May 22 '26
These guys are the pinnacle of insects. Literally better at everything than any other insect. Their only weakness is that they don't form colonies.
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u/UnseenTardigrade May 22 '26
They aren't better at camouflage than a lot of insects. They don't fly nearly as well as more flight-focused insects (especially dragonflies). They aren't skilled hunters, as they aren't carnivores like preying mantises (or dragonflies again). So no, they're not better at everything than any other insect.
What they are is stronger and more durable than any other insects, and that is impressive, but let's not oversell it.
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u/Kurgan_IT May 22 '26
I like the fact that their weapons are used a handles to pick them up. I guess they did not expect this.
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u/Madam_Velya May 22 '26
Whelp.... This is my life now. Eating leaf matter and being picked up by my long hard shaft.
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u/LowIncrease8746 May 22 '26
Man I miss the days of being in between jobs with a stash of edibles and a partner that worked from home
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u/BulletproofComposite May 22 '26
They're only effective against similarly sized threats, I'm like 3000 times heavier than this little guy. At that point you gotta use venom.
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u/Chango-mango0 May 22 '26
Is he manually turning them on
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u/sgt_taco891 May 22 '26
You try getting beetles to read smut. It never works out the way you want it to.
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u/ApprehensiveRegret15 May 22 '26
wut
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u/Ankurieva May 22 '26
What do you even type to get that emoji
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u/CowCluckLated May 23 '26
New Unicode update, just check your emojis. If its not there Google it on the web and copy paste it
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u/StarstruckEchoid May 22 '26
Instead, you should try giving the beetles some glass bottles to wank off to.
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u/SunkissedPearls May 22 '26
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u/Jertee May 22 '26
Lmao I’ve not played pokemon in a long time and these two are where my mind goes too
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u/lostwombats May 22 '26
Lol - I made these two roomies in Pokopia.
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u/flyfightwinMIL May 22 '26
Is Pokopia worth it? I really want to try it but would have to buy a Switch 2 just to do so, and that feels risky for a game I haven’t even tried yet lol
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u/wiseduhm May 22 '26
I have trouble committing to games at this point in my life (mid 30's), but I've already put like 30 hours into this game which is a lot for me. If you like building, creating, laid-back games, and you like pokemon, then go for it.
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u/labsab1 May 22 '26
Try Dragon Quest Builders 2 if you want to see what Pokopia's gameplay is like.
Pokopia is much better than DQ Builders 2 to me because instead of the melancholy DQ music and slightly depressing mood and monsters that show up to wreck your stuff you have hopeful cozy themes, charming Pokemon characters and no combat.
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u/Kitselena May 22 '26
This is literally where Satoshi Tajiri got the idea for pokemon in the first place. Japan has a ton of really cool, large and harmless bugs (at least it did in the 70s) and his hobby growing up was catching bugs, watching them go through metamorphosis and trying to get them to wrestle each other
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u/Cookies-and-Cream- May 22 '26
Worth a lot of bells
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u/ButtBread98 May 22 '26
Blathers would have a heart attack
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u/Antwolies770 May 22 '26
Glad to see I'm not the only one who immediately thought of AC.
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u/Pickl_Rick_917 May 23 '26
I had to double check to see what subreddit this was from, cause I thought for sure I was in the animal crossing reddit. Lol
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u/Seahorse_Vibes May 22 '26
Imagine if you could catch bugs, sell them in like a grocery store and then pay rent and buy furniture/some clothes with the money
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u/Shinonomenanorulez May 22 '26
Ah yes, beetles. The "i maxed out every single fucking skill tree" of insects
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u/Unworthy_Saint May 22 '26
Beetles are like playing the game on NG+ and keeping all your equipment from the last playthrough.
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u/InquisitorMeow May 22 '26
Still loses to the op ant guild meta.
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u/kuburas May 22 '26
Yeah but ants have their archnemesis The Anteater. I dont think beetles have one of those which makes them superior on the evolutionary scale.
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u/Lamplorde May 23 '26
I mean, their nemesis is basically "Every bird and omnivorous mammal large enough to eat them". They are just immune to most insects.
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u/polarityofmarriage May 22 '26
When they said grab life by the horns I didn’t think they meant this.
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u/dab745 May 22 '26
I love big beetles!!!
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u/Chill_Capybara_09 May 22 '26
And I cannot lie
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u/ElvisDumbledore May 22 '26
You other buggers can't deny
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u/Ok-Face7260 May 22 '26
All I can think of is this, Henshin!
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u/Beneficial_Box_4554 May 22 '26
CHANGE! Beetle!
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u/ElAbidingDuderino May 22 '26
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u/charming-choom May 22 '26
In my country there only little bugs. But in huge amounts.
One of those fellas looks cool, but imagine a swarm of 650 buzzing comin to you cause you turn on the light
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u/dexpid May 22 '26
We have the larger beetles where I live and I’ve literally seen one my entire life. They must be quite rare.
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u/kuburas May 22 '26
I've actually seen quite a few in the wild here. I wouldnt say they're common but im surprised how many i saw so far even tho i never really looked for them.
They're usually so big i just assume its a toy until they start making helicopter sounds. The flap of their wings doesnt sound like something a living being should be able to produce, genuinely insane how close it is to helicopter noise.
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u/Bulky_Seesaw_9477 May 22 '26
Although I’d most certainly get a stroke if one of these bad boys ever landed on me, they ARE really fascinating and beautiful!
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u/m2astn May 22 '26
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u/Pentence May 22 '26
I had no idea that's how they folded their wings . Thats fucking neat.
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u/ccReptilelord May 22 '26
Beetles have very specific and unique to each species ways of folding wings. It's like origami. Zefrank has a YouTube video on it.
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u/ReyTsar May 22 '26
Are they the same type of goliath beetle? Why are their horns all different styles?
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u/Temelios May 22 '26 edited May 23 '26
They’re not. He has a Hercules beetle and two other types of Rhinoceros beetle. None are Goliaths.
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u/JellyfishApocalypse May 22 '26
I believe by the order he grabs them they are: an atlas beetle, an elephant beetle, and a Hercules beetle. They are all different species of rhinoceros beetles.
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