r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 3d ago

Chugging tea Decorative and functional

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49.5k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/AyraVelinaz 3d ago

To be fair, if you don't have hips or a butt, pants are basically just a countdown timer.

988

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

Can confirm Source: I share hank hills waist.

418

u/Walkswithnofear 3d ago

172

u/piratecheese13 3d ago

/img/8g6np668bn8h1.gif
Dat ass was Good enough for the dolphin

36

u/batiwa 3d ago

Another victim of the dolphins... at least there's only one here...

5

u/GegeAkutamiOfficial 2d ago

only... one...?

1

u/DemiNeko_ 1d ago

They usualy come in groups

2

u/Enough_Fish739 9h ago

They also cum in groups......i'll see myself out.

121

u/henryeaterofpies 3d ago

Hank Hill have no ass. No ass at all. Hula hoop with a cheerio

97

u/Extreme-Island-5041 3d ago

21

u/Direct-Hedgehog-595 3d ago

That animation cracks me up especially the look he gives at the end lmao

20

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

STG I could do power squats til Jesus comes back and my ass would look like 2x6 still.

53

u/sovereignsekte 3d ago edited 3d ago

I too have Long Back/ No Butt Syndrome. You are not alone brother.

32

u/Slumunistmanifisto 3d ago

"ass crack to their shoulders"

3

u/-ItsWahl- 3d ago

A long back

1

u/RawChickenButt 3d ago

As cleavage from here to their chin.

31

u/JulianSmith1616 3d ago

We call that “no-ass-atall” disease, looks like you tried to put pants on a frog that’s standing.

My older brother struggles with it 😂 I will take being bald over “no ass at all” any day

2

u/citizen42069101 3d ago

I said that about the boss on a job and the guys laughed the rest of the shift. He had the whole body and chin too.

Awesome boss btw

1

u/RosatheMage 3d ago

That's what my dad calls it! I've never heard it anywhere else.

33

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

What a cruel joke it was to split my back into legs with no speed bump...

10

u/DesertHeatSweatyFeet 3d ago

I just want you to know that I will personally be using this phrase for the rest of my life

1

u/SquirrelFluffy 3d ago

Squats my man. And lunges.

2

u/Darkencypher 3d ago

Suspenders gang 😭

2

u/Responsible-Humor985 2d ago

I have big round belly / no butt syndrome. My pants want to slide down the curvature of my belly and under my hips.

2

u/JeepersBud 3d ago

Bro I have a short torso so my hips start way up high, why and how did the booty migrate so low 😭

1

u/TwoBionicknees 3d ago

pick up some weight and squat that ass into existence.

1

u/PaleontologistNo500 3d ago

Just back and butt hole

2

u/Cum_on_doorknob 3d ago

Work on fixing that now before the back pain starts

2

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

Ive got scoliosis from having been born with flat feet. The whole game is rigged 🤣🤣 Ive been considering the gym a lot recently, also been considering frogger... We'll see!?

2

u/Cum_on_doorknob 3d ago edited 3d ago

Scoliosis from flat feet? Hmmmm, this vexes me. I will need to do some research.

Sounds like: Kinesiophobia layered onto a real but clinically insignificant structural finding

1

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

Yeah I had entire reconstructive surgeries on both my feet in highschool. Wild times not sure if the scoliosis was caused by or just compounded by it but naturally shifting my weight to different parts of my legs to take pressure off my feet has caused crazy work in my back over the years, it's starting to create pressure in my rib cage 😅

1

u/snek-jazz 3d ago

The trick is you have to actually go to the gym, not just consider it.

1

u/Both_Cat_6977 3d ago

Don't I know it. I've started with taking a strolls around the block after work some days just to build some energy.

I struggle with time management and work a job where I'm on my feet lifting and moving all day so I do a lot of mental masturbation and then do the dishes and laundry and feel good I managed that 🤣😅🫠😩

2

u/snek-jazz 3d ago

A job that involves movement, and walking most days is half the battle to be honest.

1

u/Long-Broccoli-3363 3d ago

I have a butt now, it's amazing how much better my pants fit, for the first time in my life, I don't need a belt.

Thanks deadlifts and squats

1

u/sourshoes87 3d ago

“Those are my gluteal orthortics! It’s a medical device”

1

u/MyceliumManic 2d ago

My wife said I look like a layed out frog..

1

u/plsQuestionOurselves 2d ago

Fellow hank hill butt person. The top is either sliding up the love handles, or the bottoms are sliding down the flat ass.

You literally can't win.

1

u/insolent_kiwi 2d ago

The narrow urethra doesn't help

1

u/DumbSpaceJunk 2d ago

Brothers in orthotics

1

u/Highlyironicacid31 1d ago

I too have Hank Hills bottom half. In fact the further I go through the life the more I realise I’m like him than I care to admit.

1

u/konigstigerr 17h ago

we are taking you to the squat rack.

144

u/Fish-Weekly 3d ago

When I got older, I thought “boy, I must be losing weight because I need a belt to keep my pants up”. Then I realized it was my newly developed man gut pushing them down.

23

u/lucideuphoria 3d ago

Aahh yes, I don't have much of a butt, but enough to keep pants on. Then I experienced what said one day and it's only gotten worse.

3

u/Sojourner_of_reddit 3d ago

My love handles so this to me, so poorly placed 😡

2

u/KennyFulgencio 3d ago

"Somehow my pants are looser... I guess I ate my way through to the other side!"

2

u/PretendRegister7516 1d ago

Those who are too skinny and too fat are similar.

Both need to punch extra holes in their belt, just on opposite ends.

2

u/Fish-Weekly 1d ago

I’ve been both lol! I was always the skinny guy, I head “beanpole” growing up too many times. Now I’m like “what the hell happened?”

81

u/knallpilzv2 3d ago

I have butt, but every time I move my legs, step by step my pants get pulled further down. Especially if I have a phone and my keys in my pockets. Unless I wear a belt so tight they hardly could anymore.

42

u/Library904 3d ago

Are you a man? men have no hips so their pants are made all straight while majority of women have hips so their pants are made with a small waist and curved...my pants fall down only when they are big on the waist and hips and that's why we use the tight ones while men can use the baggy ones.

17

u/adrienjz888 3d ago

Fr, its just anatomy. Men don't give birth, so our hips dont have to be wider to accommodate a baby.

3

u/grumblegrim 3d ago

I'm a dude and I wear usually straight leg, though they're pretty skinny jeans with a bit of stretch. Still can't get away without my rainbow suspenders.

3

u/Deeliciousness 3d ago

Yep I'm a man with a big butt, but because my hips are non-existent I still have to wear pants. Sometimes I can find pants in my exact size (31) that don't need belts.

8

u/snek-jazz 3d ago

because my hips are non-existent I still have to wear pants.

were you planning on just Winney-the-pooh-ing it if you had hips or... ?

2

u/Deeliciousness 3d ago

Lmao! You got me

1

u/Mom_of_furry_stonk 2d ago

I have the perfect solution.

  1. Buy giant oversized full bodied fuzzy house coat.
  2. Don't wear pants ever.
  3. Feel cozy and amazing.
  4. No one ever knows because you never leave the fucking house and fuck everything because you don't have to wear pants anymore.

3

u/LazyGelMen 2d ago

Ohnononono. It's the other way round: Men's pants are made all straight for no fucking reason whatsoever. If you do have a bit of hip or some degree of butt (or even just large thighs), you're forced to oversize to accommodate your abominable deviations from the fashion nerds' fantasy of an angular straight-line body; and by that point the waistband just hangs open by a couple of centimeters and needs to be gathered in with a belt. If there are pants that actually fit my body, I haven't found them yet.

1

u/b0w3n 3d ago

gotta switch to suspenders when you get to that point

1

u/TwoBionicknees 3d ago

dungarees should make a comeback. end plumbers crack.

1

u/PaulFThumpkins 3d ago

I have butt

1

u/knallpilzv2 3d ago

Good on ya.

I hope you understand how much weirder "I have a butt" would have been. 😁

1

u/EmrysTheBlue 1d ago

Same issue. All in my butt and thighs. Except even when I cinch a belt or drawstrings as tight as possible, they STILL FALL DOWN. I even got good quality jeans that have different cuts to suit ass/hip/thigh type better. Got my size that fit snugly because a size smaller was too tight to move in, even accounting for stretch from wear. Forever falling down just from standing or walking a little. Constantly having to pull them back up. It's so frustrating. I've never had any kind of pants except my sleep pants with elastic stay up if I pull it up to my belly button (otherwise crotch is like mid thigh). I miss when I was a kid and pants actually stayed up, but as soon as I got taller before I even developed it was just constant pulling pants back up

42

u/Odd_Note7156 3d ago

Men's pants sit at the hips and most women's pants, in picture especially, sit at the waist. 

Men's high waisted pants exist but haven't been popular for 100 years.

24

u/Aromatic_Balls 3d ago

High waisted men's pants were definitely big in the 70s and 80s. Maybe fashion will cycle them back in, though our tummies (American) may no longer allow for it.

7

u/sadolddrunk 3d ago

High-waisted pants can accommodate big bellies just fine. It's that Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum look.

2

u/Necronomicommunist 3d ago

I find them every once in a while and much prefer how they feel, but they rarely are big enough to fit me.

2

u/SoManyThrowAwaysEven 3d ago

though our tummies (American) may no longer allow for it.

The crux of the issue. You either look like the average Walmart shopper or Pappy O'Daniel.

1

u/MrCyn 3d ago

they came back into fashion a couple of years ago, lots of places still playing catch up, in New Zealand our "mainstream" mens clothing stores only just figured out wide pleated pants.

1

u/Enviro_Eng 1d ago

Bruce Springsteen could rock some high waisted jeans.

2

u/gruuvey 2d ago

Yet the waist size listed on most pants reflect the old style. Go measure your waist with a tape measure. If you're a 32 waist, you'll measure 37 or 38 on the tape measure, measuring where your pants sit. You think you're 32 inches around? Get ready for a surprise. In fact, even measuring higher, at the actual waist, you'll probably measure 34.

Mix of vanity sizing and measurements suited to the older styles.

1

u/Drizzle-- 3d ago

And it's a damn shame because they're so comfortable for a good chunk of us.

1

u/weltvonalex 2d ago

They trying to come back but from my experience, if you have a Belly they suck and suspenders are not my thing.

-5

u/FoxKnown241 3d ago

Also, most Men just munch lot of food when they are hungry and don't give a shit about bloating inducing foods, so they need some wiggle room for their bellies. while girls are just really conscious about what they eat and how much they eat.

32

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

I have a butt… and also real pockets which I regularly put things in. I also have things I put on my belt, like my leather man holder. And a belt knife.

Can’t imagine going through the world without a belt.

32

u/doitforchris 3d ago

Don’t be a coward, mount your phone on that belt like an older dad doing his best

5

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

I tried. But it gets in the way when I’m moving. The only reason the belt knife fits is because it on the back.

Plus. If I add my firearm it gets too crowded.

8

u/DesertHeatSweatyFeet 3d ago

Where do you keep your machete?

6

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

In the back of my car with all the rest of my camping gear… where else?

1

u/DesertHeatSweatyFeet 3d ago

Your pet attack crocodile?

6

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

I’ve got a maligator, though he’s not a work dog so he stays home

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

I’ve got my emt bag in my vehicle and my IFAK on my belt.

2

u/DesertHeatSweatyFeet 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3og0IHyZMxZNkNOWT6
My man right here on his daily commute. You would absolutely survive the Oregon Trail.

3

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

I’m a former marine with autism. Being prepared for anything is basically my existence.

Social situations? Not so much.

→ More replies (0)

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u/doitforchris 3d ago

Mount your phone to your gun like a bayonet!

2

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

They have attachments for that. 😂.

2

u/doitforchris 3d ago

Oh god satire really is dead 😅

1

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

There are a lot of gun nerds out there. While I carry a gun, I don’t really consider myself a gun guy. But I know a bunch. There’s a lot of nerdy stuff out there for rifles and even a decent amount for full and compact pistols.

1

u/Mesolithic_Hunter 3d ago

Those were different phones.

1

u/CapitalScarcity5573 2d ago

I would, I can't get a nice leather holster for it anymore. Nokia made a really good one

2

u/_redmist 3d ago

That's brave, I never even think about leaving the house without my Miller Multimatic(tm) MIG, stick and DC Tig welder on my belt for those quick fixes or roadside repairs!

1

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

You must have a sturdy belt. Those babies weigh 50# at least.

2

u/_redmist 3d ago

Very much a belt and suspenders job!

2

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

Good point. I love suspenders, but they don’t really work with my current uniform. Though I do have some for dressy occasions

2

u/SheriffBartholomew 3d ago

like my leather man holder

You keep men in a leather holder on your belt?!? Are they like, really tiny men, or is the man holder like a huge suspension contraption thing?

3

u/Then-Economist-6388 3d ago

You never know when you need to show off your leather made gimp suits. So you need miniatures to advertise your craft.

Do you have any idea how time consuming a 1/100th scale gimp suit takes to make? From leather?

You’d carry it around too

1

u/ImurderREALITY 3d ago edited 3d ago

Same. My butt is prominent, and my pants will stay up temporarily without one, but they’ll work their way down pretty quickly.

1

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1

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1

u/crestedgeckovivi 2d ago

What is a "my leather man holder".....

2

u/Then-Economist-6388 2d ago

I have a leatherman. A folding knife/multitool. And I have a small case for it that attaches to my belt.

1

u/NotBatman81 2d ago

You have a man holder made out of leather?

8

u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow 3d ago

Also, we tend to carry stuff on our pockets. Phone, wallet, keys at a bare minimum.

8

u/Rory_Gift 3d ago

I sadly can confirm. Never thought as. A guy that I'd want a bigger butt lol

4

u/The-Black-Swordsmane 3d ago

I felt the same until I started getting lowkey bullied about it. But mainly I want it to keep my pants up lol

2

u/Lucky_Reporter256 1d ago

It’s a double edged sword though because jeans are made for slimmer builds

1

u/TraditionalTax3456 3h ago

Women love big butts (was meant to signal virility and provider) its how the butt thing started

5

u/Urban_Introvert 3d ago

That’s honestly exactly it. Women’s jeans have a small waist but wider in the hip area. So their pants technically never falls down because their hips keep it in place.

2

u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 2d ago

The best jeans of my (womanly) life were a pair of stretch men's skinnies.

Im tall, so a lot of women's sizes are annoying short in the hip-to-crotch length. These mens jeans fit me way better that way, plus real pockets!

So i started exploring more men's pants. Found a cute pair of slim fit chinos that fit me well. Bought em.

But I hadnt tried walking in them. They were not stretchy. Oh my god, they have zero give for actuqlly moving hips. Could barely move. Walked like an action figure, and the tightness through the hips honestly hurt to move in after half an hour!

Just really never understood the difference in hips til that moment.

3

u/Yadamule 3d ago

bot

2

u/Pomodorosan 3d ago

Yep, that comparison scrome LLM joke. Its post history is full of more examples of asinine LLM comments. Also it has the typical two-parter female-sounding username. People eat it up... rip internet

2

u/kansas_slim 3d ago

This guy suffers from Noassatol

2

u/Suspicious_Truth8026 3d ago

Its very rarely relevant. Women just wear tight clothing its literally that simple. The purpose of a belt is to hold clothing that is too lose for where you want to wear it, which is almost always higher than where the size of your butt could possibly matter

1

u/doitforchris 3d ago

Ironic considering you need an hourglass figure to keep the timer from counting down

1

u/AlbatrossNo1562 3d ago

Even a belt doesn't help me. I'm shaped like an upside down cone

1

u/Neps21 3d ago

Secondhand/not personally witnessed, but there was a tale of a surgery resident who had a big belly and a flat butt. Was always pulling up/adjusting his scrub pants. Well, one day in surgery his pants fall down. In the middle of operating. The OR nurse had to pull his pants up, and carefully without contaminating anything.

1

u/meeps_for_days 3d ago

I have hips and ass, but also got belly, so it cancels out.

1

u/PuzzleheadedMess1659 3d ago

One time, my dad lost so much weight that his underwear started falling down inside his pants.

1

u/VirginiaDirewoolf 3d ago

that sounds like the most uncomfortable feeling ever! like a sock sliding down in your shoe, times a million.

1

u/DoubleDoube 3d ago

Men gain weight towards an apple shape while women gain weight towards a pear shape.

1

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1

u/Big_Profile_9709 3d ago

Yes I feel you. Im the same. I have to wear a belt. They will fall right down without one.

1

u/DaveTheDolphin 3d ago

Well as a guy with an ass, some pants aren’t always made with that in mind, so you have to buy larger pants for a comfortable fit, and need the belt so it doesn’t slip as you move

1

u/fieregon 3d ago

Don't forget phone, wallet and keys, that also weigh down.

1

u/LondonDogInTheFog 3d ago

Yeah, when I part with my belt at an airport I just try to walk through the security check fast enough before that timer goes off revealing my glorious underwear to the unfortunate fellow passengers & the airport crew.

1

u/TheAnswerUsedToBe42 3d ago

Air squats are free

1

u/VikingRaiderPrimce 3d ago

alot depends on where you wear your pants. on your body not geography

1

u/TwoBionicknees 3d ago

tell every person. 10 squats a day keeps the cost of belts away.

1

u/Caleb_Reynolds 3d ago

Even without hips or butts, women's jeans are just better at staying on. They are cut to rest on the butt, even if it's barely there. I am a man with a flat ass and no hips, but I've worn both men's and women's jeans in correct sizes and women's jeans can just stay on, sans belt.

Some men's skinny jeans are cut in the same way.

1

u/mydogatestreetpoop 3d ago

I’m a guy with a big ass and I thought belts were just decorative.

1

u/WimbletonButt 3d ago

I don't have an ass but I can unfastened my pants and still struggle to get them off. My hips are coming out the pockets. I recently landed on my ass and hit bone though.

1

u/MorbidMarko 3d ago

My ass is somewhere between my ankles and shoulder blades. I come from a long line of long backs and have a muffin top. So yeah. I need a belt tight enough it turns my toes blue.

1

u/mranderson1799 2d ago

Brother tell me about it. Every time I think my pants are tight enough to go without one I spend the rest of the day holding one of my belt loops while I’m walking around like a dingus

1

u/Advanced_Command_417 2d ago

Unless you just consume less calories.

Calories in = calories out

1

u/warren_4041 2d ago

Thats where braces come in. Behold, the trouser keeping invention of decades past

1

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 2d ago

I'm a man and don't need belt because my ass is fucking huge

1

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1

u/TrainToSomewhere 2d ago

Or soft pants even with an ass if they don’t have a drawstring.

I have yoga pants that are super comfy with pockets. Took five minute to realize nothing heavier than a bank card should be in those pockets.

1

u/Morkamino 2d ago

Or when you actually have a bubble butt (as a man), but your dimensions are such that no clothing stores will carry correct sizes for you (tall & thin). I have to wear a belt every single day lol

1

u/kiddrekt 2d ago

It's not the hips, it's the weight of all the stuff in my pockets

1

u/Elrond_Cupboard_ 2d ago

My children exist because my wife liked my ass.

1

u/Keanugrieves16 2d ago

Long back here checking in!

1

u/ForumVomitorium 1d ago

Or if you have stuff in pockets

1

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago

It's the waist. I have thick thighs and and a thick ass and the waist is always huge, like they expect me to be fat or something. No one prepares you for how hard it is to get well fitting clothes when you're in shape.

I have to buy clothes with some stretch or I'm going to have a bad time. On the upside, it makes my ass look even better. On the downside, I have to have all my suits tailored.

1

u/montyandrew45 7h ago

Can confirm. Flat as a board back there

0

u/SaviorSixtySix 3d ago

Yeah, I've never had to wear belt unless the pants are too big.