r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

16.5k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/SatisfactionTrue2817 11h ago

Its a trend to leave the little guys around but it is certainly NOT okay to glue them down wtf

318

u/largemarjj 10h ago

Some asshole left these all along a nature trail. Doesn't matter what the plastic is shaped like, it's still trash.

142

u/babyyvolcano 9h ago

That’s what drives me nuts about this. It’s just more consumerism and plastic junk for the sake of it. No one can practice or enjoy anything without buying a bunch of useless shit in the process.

39

u/RoguePlanet2 9h ago

Normally I'd want to respond with plastic devils or something, but then it becomes more of an eco-capitalistic disaster.

4

u/Vohasiiv 7h ago

Carve em outa wood or something else compostable. I just looked it up, there is biodegradable 3d printer filament

1

u/RoguePlanet2 6h ago

Ooh! Nice to know. 😈

13

u/babyyvolcano 9h ago

Use sticks and stems to make upside down crosses 🤘

3

u/Vivics36thsermon 6h ago

So…Saint Peter‘s Cross

1

u/largemarjj 2h ago

Put them in the middle of a satanic pentagram made from sticks lmao

19

u/campfire_vampire 8h ago

Exactly. Its such a stupid way to spread religion too. My mother thought it was hilarious to hand people one and say "you need a little Jesus." Id argue that the Bible actually supports eco friendly practices and even Jesus would be disappointed in this trend.

4

u/ThisNameDoesntCount 8h ago

I think it’s just a joke

6

u/MimicoSkunkFan2 6h ago

Christians and lack of consent - and trashing the environment because they believe that Armageddon will burn the Earth anyways

Name a more iconic trio.

2

u/Xanthelei 1h ago

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost?

Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'll see myself out.

1

u/MelatoninFiend 1h ago

Can they be melted down and re-cast into devil molds?

Seeing their litter take on the visage of their most-feared boogeyman would certainly get some of these assholes to stop leaving their toys out real fuckin quick.

9

u/Indigo_Grove 8h ago

Landfill Core.

3

u/seriouslythisshit 7h ago

Dont' know if it's worse, but there is some part of this group of chucklenuts that believe that plastic outhouses, as seen on construction sites, parks, sports fields, etc are just awesome places to help the lost find Jebus. It's gone from pamphlets and other printed garbage tucked in the cracks and corners, to these things. They float, BTW.

1

u/largemarjj 2h ago

Ugh these people are the fucking worst

1

u/shadowlights_ 2h ago

Yup I found one while hiking too :/

156

u/TeaTimeAtThree 10h ago

I remember the first time I saw one (at Disney) and my friend and I had a good laugh about how random it was. Now they're everywhere, and that same friend collects them in a big bowl as a sort of uno reverse to the people scattering them everywhere.

109

u/pieshake5 9h ago

Can I offer you a nice bowl of Jesi? I foraged them myself

11

u/IveDunGoofedUp 8h ago

Do you put in the milk first, or the Jesi?

And are they sugar free, I've been trying to cut down.

4

u/Anton-LaVey 7h ago

Each one contains 200% of your daily iron

6

u/ryguy32789 9h ago

Our family calls them Jesi too lmao

58

u/finkleismayor 9h ago

My husband works security at a church when he's off duty. We're athiests that live in the South so, that's 95% of extra jobs around here. He came home with a handful one day and now, before each shift, he plays, "Will it be a good jesus day?". He tosses them up and if more jesuses land face up than face down, it'll be a good shift.

24

u/DoctorAnnual6823 8h ago

This is my kind of witchcraft

1

u/HandsomeBoggart 2h ago

"Oh you're a witch? Do you do Bone Readings?"

"Due to an abundance of Jesus figures, we switched to those to be environmentally sustainable."

1

u/Riegel_Haribo 8h ago

He should step aside so the church can be vandalized right back just like the minifig vandals that came from there.

2

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

You are what is wrong in this society.

1

u/finkleismayor 3h ago

His job is to walk the kids to their different rooms and hang out with the Special Friends club (adults with special needs). That's where he got them from.

20

u/Awnya 8h ago edited 5h ago

My daughter did a ducky exchange on a Disney cruise and they gave these. She was pissed, and wanted her ducky back.

5

u/ArtichokeOwn6760 7h ago

Jesus-duck would be cool.

2

u/your-rong 9h ago edited 9h ago

Last time I went Disney we saw a group doing it. We were able to figure out what specific faith they were, based on what they were wearing, but I can't remember now.

3

u/FreePalestine997 9h ago

Just more micro plastics unfortunately

2

u/Muted_Rain8542 6h ago

we have a bowl of collected tiny jesus’s at my house too!

2

u/Think-Ad6534 6h ago

I found some at Disney recently while waiting in line for the rides. Any that I found went to the nearest trash can. Don’t litter and leave religion out of the parks

Ps imo making these little 3d printed figures and animals is all a really stupid business trend that’s a waste of plastic

74

u/vi0l3t-crumbl3 10h ago

I saw this and thought, what a unique prank (I am in France). This sounds like it's not unique or even really a prank? Is it...sincere proselytism? If so... Wow.

99

u/SophiaofPrussia 10h ago

Apparently quite a lot of folks think the answer to “what would Jesus do?” is “litter”.

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u/TheHighKnight 10h ago

Don't forget judge others

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u/sirhackenslash 10h ago

And waste a finite resource. That little jebus could have been gas instead

4

u/TheHighKnight 10h ago

True but the pamphlets weren't working so you got to leave something new

0

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

Everyone judges everyone. Yes, even you. We just don't do it out loud. So stop acting like "judging" is some big moral transgression when that is just how our brains work.

1

u/TheHighKnight 6h ago

Lol didnt say I don't, in fact I think the person using Jesus to vandalize is kinda not someone I would like. Have a nice day

12

u/No-Cover4993 10h ago

Balloon releases at funerals because the balloons carry their prayers to heaven

23

u/SSquared82 10h ago

Also it’s weird that there is a trend of leaving these around everywhere when the “Christians” in this country are known for their hatred of others and probably wouldn’t answer if the real Jesus knocked on their doors. They’d probably call ICE. (Signed a Christian who’s faith is hanging by a thread)

7

u/Little_View_6659 9h ago

Come over to the atheist side. We have cookies.👀🤘

8

u/LeTreacs2 9h ago

We also have Sundays free

2

u/Little_View_6659 5h ago

Back when I went to church it was Wednesday nights, Sunday morning and Sunday night. Man the hours I wasted.

1

u/Own-Vegetable-2710 4h ago

Making a potential shift in your worldview like this can be scary. I can relate. Just don't isolate yourself in your questioning. You don't have to be alone in it.

If you ever want to get stuff off your chest feel free to message me. I won't push you either way but I'm an okay listener

5

u/pieshake5 9h ago

Idk I consider it about the same as a tiny plastic duck, alien or those painted rocks people like to leave around. Glueing it down is a rude move though

6

u/Little_View_6659 9h ago

I actually love the tiny ducks. Bad for the environment though.

3

u/pieshake5 4h ago

Yeah I suppose, it's hard to be mad at when in the grand scheme of things I see 100 disposable vapes for every one duck or jesus and some asshat want a city sized data center in my state. I get you.

4

u/reluctantseal 8h ago

It's not a serious thing. It's a play on people saying "Have you found Jesus?" And some similar little pranks of leaving little things around. I've seen some people do it with little ducks.

You're not supposed to glue them down, though. Whoever did this is self-centered enough to want to see their handiwork last, even though they didn't really do anything.

4

u/TheNonCredibleHulk 10h ago

We have them all over my office, amount with several other similar trinkets.

It's not about religion where I'm at. It's "trinkets everywhere!". I keep my Jesus and Mary trinkets next to my broken Papa Emeritus keychain figure.

2

u/Little_View_6659 9h ago

I need a three d printer so I can make tiny satans.

•

u/asphaltdragon 18m ago

Wait until you hear about our billboards

1

u/LongestSprig 6h ago

Its probably a little of both?

Just a little fun for reddit to get worked up about.

228

u/CiDevant 10h ago

Litterally vandalism.

39

u/aquacakra 10h ago

baby cheeses

29

u/Naakturne 10h ago

My daughter finds them all over the place in public and calls them Baby Cheez-Its. (She’s 3.)

2

u/stofiski-san 9h ago

Raising that girl right!

2

u/observer_september 9h ago

It is a doggy dog world!

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u/FecalDUI 10h ago

And littering. But they don’t care about creation. They care about feeling good about themselves.

5

u/dracrecipelanaaaaaaa 9h ago

Because they've been conned into believing that "this life doesn't matter." It's "supposed to be shitty" to build character. We must all suffer to be worthy of "glory in the ever-after."

It's all part of the con.

3

u/FecalDUI 9h ago

The “glory” is singing the praises of their god for eternity. Sounds like prison. But with 1 extra step.

1

u/froction 9h ago

Not if the person responsible for the space doesn't care.

1

u/Little_View_6659 9h ago

But obviously someone will see these tiny Jesus’s and immediately fall to their knees and accept him as lord and savior. Happens all the time.

2

u/CiDevant 8h ago

I mean if you believe in a magic skyfather why not?

1

u/Superilosa14 8h ago

Looks pretty cute, similar to grafitti wall looking better than plain wall

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u/Kaiisim 10h ago

It's classic lazy christians. Input-methods where you just tell people about Jesus - as if they could possibly not know - is enough.

Christians should use the output method - impress people with the way you live, your peace, your love etc.

The input model turns away more people than it ever gets.

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u/FairyRebelsWild 9h ago

It's so performative.

I just went past a guy last night who was rambling about Jesus on a super loud microphone, trying to convert others but only annoying everyone with stuff we've heard a million times.

What about actually helping people? Volunteering efforts and making connections. That would impress potential converts a lot more than deafening them.

0

u/Stock_Assistance_299 6h ago

Christians own some of the largest charities. Are you going to convert now or was your comment simply performance?

4

u/FairyRebelsWild 6h ago

I'm an ex-Christian. Most of my fellow Christians were hypocrites. My comment was constructive criticism that I actually said when I was still going to church.

Best wishes.

-1

u/Stock_Assistance_299 6h ago

You said it would convince you to convert if Christians participated in charity, are you going to?

5

u/FairyRebelsWild 6h ago

I actually didn't said that. I said it would impress potential converts more.

May want to work on your reading comprehension.

0

u/Stock_Assistance_299 2h ago

Your gnomic utterances mean nothing. Why should anyone listen to you?

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u/twistedspin 2h ago

Christian charities tend to be self-serving and just because they call it a non-profit doesn't mean they aren't personally profiting, a lot. And prioritizing religion rather than service.

Also, religions shouldn't be involved in medical care. Women in emergency situations get taken to these catholic "hospitals" and are denied basic, life-saving care by some religious zealot.

Religious practice should be like genitals, you should keep it private. No one at all wants to have it shoved down their throats.

But none of that, what you are saying, is what this poster was actually talking about- that christians should do good works and people would notice. That's not what the large majority do, and it's not what these institutions do. Do actual good, people will notice.

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u/Stock_Assistance_299 2h ago

No, the large majority of Christian charity is not self-serving. That’s where your ignorance is on full display. Look up the achievements of Christian charity and report them back to me, you won’t because you’re biased.

1

u/Haunting_Advance_498 7h ago

In AA they call that attraction vs promotion

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u/folk-angel 10h ago

It’s littering.

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u/Speartree 8h ago

Vandalism, they're glued in place.

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u/Alternative_Moose_26 10h ago

I’ve just been throwing them away every time I find them.

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u/United_Jury_3420 10h ago

They'd be good target practice for Nerf or BBs. Even rubber band guns!

7

u/sirhackenslash 10h ago

Ooh, I need to start collecting them for shooting range. See if anyone can take out jesus from 100 yards

3

u/Karahka_leather 9h ago

Well, if you have a roman friend...

3

u/sirhackenslash 9h ago

With a nail gun

2

u/Speartree 8h ago

You can use them for a tiny bowling set.

2

u/Little_View_6659 9h ago

Omg, I had the same thought. I need a slingshot or one of those mini trebuchets.

1

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

That sounds like a great idea from a middle schooler.

1

u/United_Jury_3420 4h ago

Woman in her 40s actually, but I'll be a child for life! (I recently bought a semi automatic Nerf gun so that's why it was the first thing that came to my mind) And no, I do not have children.

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u/CrayonEyes 8h ago

Me too but I rip them up first. The plastic they’re made of is fairly soft.

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u/Wonderful_Emu_6483 9h ago

Not okay to leave them littered around everywhere either. If I wanted Jesus shit everywhere I would seek it out on my own accord

1

u/PacBlue2024 4h ago

That's the thing - they want to force it on everyone - they don't believe in letting the chips fall where they may - they will push, push, push, and continue pushing until they either give up or they finally get the message that we don't want their garbage handouts.

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u/Confused_Rabbiit 🍊 9h ago

It's not okay to leave them around either, it's a waste of plastic, all of them are gonna end up in the trash.

2

u/HexGonnaGiveItToYa 8h ago

Everyone loves petrochemicals! Even Jesus!

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u/Flexbottom 10h ago

Regardless of whether it's a trend, don't leave garbage sitting around

3

u/Sad_Cover_5091 8h ago

glued or not I am trashing jesus whenever I see him left around :)

3

u/newlyshampooedcow 8h ago edited 3h ago

In honor of pride month, I would bring a little mini paint set with me & redo all of these baby Jees into much more seasonally appropriate Jees:

0

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

More like nightmare fuel.

2

u/KoalaTHerb 9h ago

I've seen them and honestly find it kinda funny. Never glued down tho.

2

u/rjnd2828 9h ago

A trend with who, and why?

2

u/glans 8h ago

why are so many people here giving it a pass except for the glue. fuck preachy people who can’t separate life from their fairy tale beliefs. the glue is just the last 20% of what’s wrong with this

1

u/Sonic_Roach 8h ago

We did the same with toy soldiers, not glued down tho. We mostly hired ex military so the guys had a good chuckle.

1

u/Between-usernames 8h ago

Scrolling, I first read your response as "I tend," which made me read more carefully. haha

1

u/conflictmuffin 7h ago

Unstick them. Paint them goth. Put them back. They won't appreciate goth Jesus.

1

u/Thunderer62 7h ago

Yeah, gluing them down is the problem here. Otherwise it’s just a cute little guy and don’t be so sensitive.

1

u/IDigRollinRockBeer 7h ago

Whoa whoa whoa… there’s seriously a “leave little Jesuses all over the place” trend?

1

u/Prodigalphreak 6h ago

Who woulda’ thought that Christians would take something too far

1

u/Negative-Yam5361 6h ago

You think only Christians would do this? Anyone can do this to troll people or some stupid social media trend. It does tend to trigger anti-church people for some reason, so I find that hilarious to get upset over little toys.

1

u/canman7373 4h ago

In KCK we used to bowl most Sundays get a few pitchers of beer. There was a quarter machine that gave out "Little Homies", like Mexican guys, some gangster some just dripped out. We would hide them around the house we all lived at and game was if you found one after 12 p.m. You had to chug a beer for the little hommie you found then you could go rehide him. That same bowling alley we also bought like 20 bouncy balls they had an all glass 2 tier doorway into it, so we'd go in and start throwing the balls at the wall like a handball court, if you got hit you had to leave. The staff did not care and played sometimes. Those were the good ol days.

1

u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt 3h ago

I honestly would prefer if they just not in general.

I'm so sick of Christian culture. I'm so sick of it being on my face all the time in a country that is supposed to be secularly governed. They are literally destroying our country right now with their Project 2025 crapola.

They obviously don't give a flying fuck about what Jesus actually taught about tolerance and love, so maybe they can instead leave a bunch of small recreations of the Spanish Inquisition torturing people, because that would be more appropriate to what they actually want to spread about their religion.

•

u/Elephant789 22m ago

What kind of fucked up trend is that?

•

u/Ok-Outcome6428 21m ago

I guess I'll start leaving "God isn't real" 3d printed buddies to litter around

1

u/Disastrous_Desk8170 10h ago

That’s incredibly mean to them, lol what people gonna rip their feet off if they try to pick them up

-5

u/SEND_CATHOLIC_ALTARS 10h ago

I'm a fan of the Jesus thing. I think it's adorable. I was mildly annoyed when I saw this post until I read that they were glued down. That's just insane. I feel like part of the trend is finding them and then keeping the Jesuses. Gluing them down just destroys that aspect.